My Life, My Ministry

My New Digs

2010-06-24T21:56:00.001-04:00

Come chill with me over at http://newwifeadventures.wordpress.com

I won't be checking over here anymore - it's been real blogger!

Moving

2010-06-22T10:45:00.002-04:00

It's been real for the past 5 or so years, but My Life, My Ministry is moving. We're moving over to wordpress. I have a few reasons for this move:

As you know, the job has blocked blogger - allowing me to access it 10 minutes at a time. I totally understand but it takes me forever to type a post in 10 minute increments. Wordpress lets me submit a post via email. Easy breezy.
I censor myself quite a bit over here. I like the option to submit a post that is password protected. Sometimes I just need to get stuff out without worrying about someone's feelings getting hurt.
I love the Wordpress' mobile feature. It is so much easier to read and comment on wordpress blogs from my phone - so I hope this move will make things easier for my readers.

I've already imported my old posts to wordpress so nothing will be lost. That was really easy. I'm still working on the format so you haven't missed any post and as soon as I have the new site ready, I'll post it over here. I hope you'll enjoy my new digs!

Birthday, Race Day and Other

2010-06-10T09:15:00.001-04:00

My job just won't let me be great in blogging land. Please know that if I used to comment on your blog regularly and I don't now - it's the job's fault. I still read through Google reader and I may comment from my phone occassionally. That is also the reason for my lack of blogging. I'm allowed access to my site in 10 minute increments so let me get this party started.

Birthday - on Saturday, May 29 I celebrated my 40th birthday. It was a long day that started with getting up at 6am for Slim's graduation. Slim is my oldest step-daughter. I got up early so I could curl my hair and look nice only to discover that the graduation was outside - in the humidity. Needless to say I was ponytailing it for the rest of the day. After the graduation ToolTime, GradyB, Tisha and RhysPieces joined me for an adventure of indoor rock climbing. I was raring to go and was going at it for about an hour when I started to get lightheaded. It was 1pm and I had not eaten all day. I may have had about 4 ounces of water at that time too, so I had to scale back a bit but GradyB was like spiderwoman on that wall! We will definitely be rock climbing more in the future.

After rock climbing we headed to a nearby Mexican food restaurant for good food and margaritas. Not only that, but I had a seafood burrito - so I was able to mix my two favorite foods (Mexican and Seafood) and my favorite drink. After eating we went to see SATC2. Eh, it was cool - I think the full length Kia Blacksheep commercial was more memorable. But it was a great movie to end my girlfriend day. After getting home, I rested a bit with Babee before MM came home with some crablegs from a party he went to. I was not hungry at all, but I ate those crablegs!

Sunday, to add to my feasting, MM and I went to Pappadeaux. I guess I'm trying to get in all the seafood I can... Wait, to add to the seafood marathon - some bloggers over at MIA took me out Friday and we had seafood. So yes, I had seafood Friday, Saturday AND Sunday.

For my birthday, I gave myself 4 lbs. Yup, I weighed myself Friday morning and then on Tuesday morning - 4 lbs added to my frame. *heavy sigh*

Race Day - Last weekend I flew to DC to run a 5k with SingleMa. I promised her that I would run her first 5k with her once she got started on the C25K program. You can read all about it here Let me just say that it was the hottest yet most exciting run I've done yet. The next day we got up bright and early to go see BK (@thefitlounge for my twitter friends) run her first half marathon. You can read all about that here

I didn't get much sleep the entire weekend, but it was worth it. We've decided that we're going to do the Global Race for the Cure annually. As a matter of fact, they have a discount on registration if I register by June 25 - since I like saving $, I shall be registering by June 25.

Other - people keep asking how's it feel being married. I don't feel much different. The first time I felt something different was right before I left for DC. Y'all know I travel all the time and this wasn't the first time I traveled without MM. Actually, I've traveled without him a total of 5 times since we've been together. Including my trip to London. This was the first time when I was having a hard time leaving. I mean I really didn't want to leave. So I guess that's the change. That and being able to have guilt-free sex - now THAT is the bombdizzle, LOL.

This week, Gramma (younger step-daughter) is staying with us. She expressed a desire to lose weight so I've been working out with her, showing her how to use the elliptical and Wii. Tonight we'll discuss eating. Working out with her is helping me get mine in after some long days at work. I've set a mini-goal of losing 20 pounds by the start of football season. Imagine my joy when I plugged my weight loss goal into my Lose It app with losing 1.5 pounds a week, the app came back with a date of September 12. That's the Falcons' first regular season game. Gramma and I will be working this thing together.

I've been wanting to have a good cry for a while now. Nothing is wrong, it's just that I've witnessed some pretty emotional things lately and wasn't able to cry. For instance when SingleMa and her BG hugged after the race I wanted to start BAWLING! It was such a beautiful touching moment, but I just couldn't let it out. When BK rounded the path toward the finish line for her half-marathon, I wanted to fall out crying. I was standing next to her mom and at around 2:30 Mama BK said she was starting to get worried. I remained upbeat and said I'm sure she's coming soon - but I could feel Mama BK's anxiety. So when BK came around that corner I just wanted to fall out crying - but I couldn't let it out. While at work, I saw that picture of the pelican soaked in oil. I SO wanted to cry, but I couldn't let it out. Shoot, I couldn't even cry like I wanted to watching the season finale of Private Practice because MM was watching with me and he hates to see me cry. Back in 2005 I wrote this post about crying (it's long). It's been a while - and I'm ready to release. I don't know when - but I'm going to burst sooner or later.

And thus ends my update. Have a great day!

I'm BAAACK!

2010-05-28T22:12:00.000-04:00

What's up folks?

I've been back from my honeymoon for almost a week, but this is the first time I've actually taken the time to blog. I know...shame on me. As mentioned, my job increased our security settings so I can't access blogger. I am able to keep up with the blogs that I read through google reader, but I can't comment. Unless I blog from my phone and that's just too tedious. So if I used to comment on your site regularly, you haven't heard from me as much due to my new settings at work.

Now for my update.

My wedding was beautiful and I was a beautiful bride (if I must say so myself). I rarely wear make-up, so it was a big adjustment for me to have on a full face along with eyelashes. ToolTime did a GREAT job on my make-up. My hair was lovely, I felt like a queen. You all know that my ceremony was very basic. ToolTime picked the perfect music - music that wouldn't make me cry. My husband came out to "The Point of it All" - I was upstairs in ToolTime's room watching him as he walked out and I must say he was VERY handsome in his linen suit. The song she picked for me was "You're All I Need to Get By" as performed by Kenny Lattimore and Chante' Moore - not the Method Man/MJB version, LOL. When the ceremony was over, we marched out to "As" - nothing mushy that would cause me to mess up my make-up. I did cry while saying my vows, but it was brief.

Dinner was nice and while I really wanted to go see "Just Wright" that evening, we were exhausted - plus, we had to finish packing.

The honeymoon was awesome! The room was lovely, the island was lovely and I was in the midst of all this loveliness with the love of my life. Unfortunately I got sick our second day there. I was a little under the weather Monday and Tuesday but it didn't slow me down too much - just led to some sleepless nights where I coughed the entire time. Thank God they had cable with all 4 premium channels - I caught some cute movies in the still of the night. I also watched plenty episodes of Law & Order SVU, The King of Queens and Everybody Loves Raymond. They had karaoke two nights while there and I took my place at the microphone both nights.

There's so much more - but that would make for an extra long post. I can tell you that I did NOT want to come home. That's odd for me. Normally when I travel, after about the third day I'm ready to get back to my house and my bed. I'm also ready to get away from my travel partners for at least a day. But I could have stayed on that resort with my husband for two more weeks.

When we got back, MM noticed that my tire was flat. My first thought - I gotta get a new tire. ToolTime and MM both mentioned getting some fix-a-flat. You can tell I'm not accustomed to having a man in my life because any other time I would have just purchased a tire. My husband left right back out after ToolTime dropped us off to get some fix-a-flat. He fixed the tire and I've had no problems since.

We spent part of Sunday with the girls and I finally got to see Just Wright. After that I stopped by ToolTime's to get our wedding photos and watched the season finale of Grey's Anatomy - talk about tears flowing!!! Yeah, I was bawling watching that.

Monday, I left work early so we could go pick up Babee. She's gotten so big and I was so happy to see her. That is until she pooped in the back of my car (she did it again Thursday night).

It's been pretty busy at work but I survived my first week as a married woman. Now it's time for me to start celebrating my 40th birthday! Some bloggers took me out for dinner and drinks tonight to celebrate my marriage and tomorrow I'm hanging out with my girls after going to Slim's (MM's oldest daughter) graduation. I have a full day ahead of me so I'm going to sleep.

Wedding Day!

2010-05-14T12:31:00.001-04:00

I'm currently at the salon getting my wig tight, LOL!

I am SO excited! Today I shall be Mrs. Me. I'm still calm. Haven't actually cried today but I did tear up a little.

A dear friend of mine tried to tell me I shouldn't get married. She didn't flat out say it, but she implied that God was telling her this. I told that if she hears something clearly to call me back. After the call I prayed and got the same peace I've had ever since I said yes. I think she's just going to miss her friend.

I will admit that I'm a little sad that another formerly close friend isn't here. For the past 5 years or so, I always thought she would be front and center when I got married. She was one of my relationship mentors but we had a little fall out back when I was dating Teddy Bear. In talking with another friend, I discovered that her perception of our fallout is different than mine. When that happens, it's difficult to reconcile. I've reached out to her a few times since getting engaged, but she's never seemed interested in the fact that I've found the love of my life.

I was told that I would have 'haters' when I got in a fulfilling relationship but that hasn't happened. At least not that I know of. I wouldn't call these two ladies Haters. I just think they weren't ready for certain changes that have occurred in me. That's cool, I still love them both dearly and can't wait for the day when our friendships are fully restored.

Thank God for friends that love me!!! My stylist friend outdid herself on my hair (no charge) and I just saw the decorated gazebo. Lord please withhold the rain until we say 'I do'

I am SO ready to become one with the love of my life. See y'all on the flip side!!!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Day 2.1

2010-05-13T20:48:00.001-04:00

Work is done, lashes are on and we've had 'rehearsal'. ToolTime picked out some great music for us.

Now it's time for our slumber party! The girls and I are staying with ToolTime tonight. Pizza, makeup and giggles!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Day 2

2010-05-13T10:52:00.002-04:00

I'M GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW!!!

I suspect I'll post as thoughts enter my mind today.

This morning we overslept. I forgot to set my alarm. Thankfully my body clock woke me up at my normal time, but because we had to pick up the rental I didn't get a chance to workout. This sucks because I won't meet my goals for the week. I'll get over it.

I talked to my UncleDad this morning and they are hitting the road. I'm praying for safe travels.

I almost cried when Mr. Me and I departed at the rental lot. That was the last time I'll see him until he sees me walk towards him for our nuptials. Then I almost cried when I said goodbye to Babee. That was the last time I'll see her until we get back - she's going to boarding tomorrow morning.

All of that may change if Mr. Me and I meet up later before I head to ToolTime's for the slumber party.

Day 2 continues...

Days 4-3

2010-05-12T23:48:00.002-04:00

The time is drawing nigh. My sweetheart posted the loveliest comment on FB today - caused me to cry. I can't remember a day when I haven't cried during the last week. My most recent love song cry came to "I Believe In You and Me" by Whitney Houston. "Baby you're my dream come true..." That's the line that sent me in. I'm ready to be a wife - but this wedding thing...

So I found out my UncleDad did not invite others. Well he did invite his cousin that lives here, mainly because they were staying with him. Notice I typed 'were' because he flaked on them. I'm not surprised - too bad I can't uninvite him to the wedding and dinner. Anyhoo, it seems as if my older sister is the culprit. When I talked to my UncleDad he said that he thought she was on that 'stuff' again. I had to laugh because that 'stuff' is not illegal drugs like most would think, but her prescription medications. My sister suffers from some mental issues and sometimes her medication isn't right. That's the best way I can put it. Anyway, when she's on that 'stuff' she's not lucid all the time. For instance, she called me Tuesday evening at work. I had left already but her message sounded like she was troubled. Not the words, but the tone of her voice. When I finally talked to her - she had no recollection of calling me. I really don't want her driving down here - so I'm going to pray about that.

Anyway - my sister exaggerated a bit. No one is coming from Cleveland and cousin doesn't have a 'plus one' - so it won't be as bad as we thought. We said 30 - 35 and it looks like we'll be at 35. Mr. Me's family that invited themselves? Well, they're not coming.

Day 4 was work then an Atlanta Falcons event with ToolTime. After which we went to Macy's and I finally found a bra to wear with my dress!!! I also bought some nightwear and flip flops. I finally used up the gift card my co-workers got me.

Day 5 started with an issue. UncleDad called and asked me to reserve a hotel for him because his cousin flaked on letting them stay with him. Shade at 60+ is not a good look if you ask me. I looked at some hotels but then UncleDad said he would call me back. He needed to see if his son (cousin from Cali) was going to stay with them. Cool.

Mr. Me had been talking about renting a car so he could tote all the kids around comfortably. When we talked, I'd found a decent rate but he said he wanted to check to see if he could get a better rate with his corporate discount. He said he would call me back. Cool.

During lunch I went to pick up my dress. The tailor convinced me to get it taken in at the waist and I'm glad she did - it looks even better. After work I went to get my pedicure. I decided against a manicure because I wanted my hands free so I could read. I can do my own manicure since I don't wear color.

After grabbing something to eat, I headed home to start packing. Around 9:45 I realized that neither MM nor my UncleDad had called me back. So at around 10pm I was making hotel and car reservations. Yeah, I was frustrated but it got done.

I'm almost finished packing. Tomorrow I go get my lashes after work, then it's the slumber party with Mr. Me's girls at ToolTime's house.

I'm dead tired so I shall sign-off now.

Days 6-5

2010-05-10T09:44:00.005-04:00

Note: this started as a Day 6 post only but because of recent developments this afternoon, I'm doing a combined post. Updates are things that occurred on Day 5.

You got a bit of day 6 already. Day 6 was spent being very sleepy. I did manage to get another 2 hours of sleep in before hitting the road. ToolTime and I took TaeBo out to dinner for Mother's Day. After dinner we went back to ToolTime's house so she could practice doing my makeup. I'm glad we had that practice session because the foundation the lady gave me was too light. I looked like a chalky ghost! I couldn't wait to wash that stuff off my face. It seems that everyday brings more tasks. Now I have to find a bra AND go replace my foundation. *Update* Hit the mall after work, found a bra and exchanged foundation. I pray my bra works with the dress.

After ToolTime's I headed home because Mr. Me was back in town. He had to make some stops before coming home. So I had time to get home, take Babee out, do a little cleaning and get his dinner ready.

When the weekend started I had plans to do so many things. Wash clothes, catch up on my DVR'd shows and watch a movie. That was in addition to the things I managed to accomplish. Unfortunately most of Sunday was spent either sleeping or trying to find sleep, LOL.

So now starts my last week as a single woman. I feel like I have so much to accomplish before the big day!!! Our dinner guest list has gotten out of control. My sister initially said she wasn't bringing her kids - then changed her mind. My uncle invited his cousin that lives here. I don't speak to said cousin and never even thought about inviting him. Mr. Me's family that wasn't invited got offended so he told them they could come - however he didn't tell them they couldn't come to dinner. Cost isn't an issue because we've requested that attendees pay for their own dinner in lieu of gifts but space is limited. It will be interesting to see how all this pans out. *Update* - so I find out while at work this afternoon that more family members were planning to surprise me and come. One is flying from California and others are driving from Cleveland. Again folks that I didn't invite. Folks that would not have made my A-list if I were doing a larger wedding. I think what ticks me off most is there are A-listers that I didn't invite because this was supposed to be a small affair...

So that's our task for tonight, come up with a final list for dinner. Before I can complete my list, I need to have a heart-to-heart with my Uncle/Dad - I know he is behind these surprises. I've been calling him all evening and he won't answer, hmm he must know I'm ticked...

I just want to take a few seconds to address two comments on my Mother's Day post. My decision NOT to have children has nothing to do with my mother. Back when I wanted kids, it was because I wanted to give them all I didn't have. But as I grew to know myself and more comfortable in my skin, I realized that kids were not for me. Also, if my future step-children ever wanted to do something for me for Mother's Day, I would be honored. I just don't consider myself a Mom and I would never try to take their Mom's place. That is the main reason why I didn't take them to church with me yesterday. Before MM left for his trip, the Teen asked if I would pick him up for church. I told him yes, at that point he was going to be staying at their old house with his big brother which is near the church. I didn't even think that it would be Mother's Day. When we were riding around Saturday he started talking about me taking all of them to church with me. I gave them some very good reasons why it would not be a good idea (distance, time, etc) and said we'd have to plan in advance for that to happed, but my real reason was that Mother's Day should not be the first time all the kids go to church with me. I felt they should spend that time with their mother. When I dropped them off, I gave them some money so they could get their mom a nice gift because I know Mr. Me would do the same if he were in town.

When the ex talked to Mr. Me she told him that we'd met and she thought I was a sweet person. I'm glad she likes me because, due to a recent offense by the Teen, we can't leave him with his older brother while on our honeymoon - so the ex is going to keep him and drive him back and forth to school. I'm not going to go into the details of this one, but they are seriously thinking of sending him to some sort of disciplinary boarding school. That boy has lost his dern mind. Thanks to all that said the lying was normal - but with this recent incident I'm definitely calling EAP.

I'm going to bed - it's almost 11pm and my UncleDad still hasn't returned my call. Mr. Me talked to the restaurant and she said they will work with us to accommodate this train wreck.

Goodnight!

Mother's Day Ramblings

2010-05-09T11:14:00.002-04:00

I know I just post posted approximately 3 hours ago but it's Mother's Day and I have some things on my mind.

Mother's Day is always the most awkward holiday for me. If you've been reading for any length of time, you know that I do not have a good relationship with my mother. She didn't raise me, my grandmother did. When she was around she reeked havoc on our lives, drunken tirades, having the police come and arrest her from the house (we lived right across the street from my high school), stealing, etc. It wasn't ALL bad - I do know that my love of the arts came from her. She used to take us to see plays at the Karamu House in Cleveland. I saw "For Colored Girls" when I was very young. I didn't fully understand it (a good thing) but I loved it. I saw "The Wiz" when I was young too. But from around age 7 on - it was downhill. I send my mother a card for Mother's Day every year along with some money. It's difficult buying cards because most are so 'special' - expressing how mother has been there or how a mother's love is the best in the world.

I was raised by my grandmother. She passed 10 years ago a few days before Mother's Day. Ever since then this day has been EXTRA hard. As I was watching internet service this morning the men sang the song "Mama" by Boyz II Men (I think). When I went to Charlotte right after my Grandma passed, I heard that song when I got back home. They played it as the 11 pm news was going off and that was the first time I really cried after finding out Grandma was gone. It came on the radio while I was at work Friday and it took all I could not to cry. But when they sang it this morning while I was attending internet church, I was able to let it all out. So I got my "Mama" cry in this morning. I miss her.

I was talking to my mother yesterday and she asked if Mr. Me and I were planning to have children and I told her no. She then went into that "You gotta have at least ONE baby" stuff that most say (I was gonna type crap, but I'll respect the belief of those that think a woman must have at least ONE baby). Then my mother cracked her jaws to say that having my sisters and I was the one thing that made her feel more like a woman than anything else. I SO wanted to respond and ask her about taking care of her 3 kids. I wanted to tell her that I think womanhood is defined by more than carrying a child 9 months and giving birth - there's some follow-through to that. And I'm not even going to get into being a law-abiding citizens, paying your own bills, being able to take care of self, etc. I could NOT believe that this woman tried to say I was less of a woman because I wasn't planning to have kids - and even more disgusting that she was more of a woman because she birthed kids. It took all I had not to cuss - but all I said was "I'm pretty secure in my womanhood, I think I'll be alright." And this is why, no matter how hard I try to forgive and forget, no matter how many times I try to have an intelligent conversation with her - my mother and I can't seem to establish a decent relationship. Every time we talk for longer than 5 minutes she says something crazy to me.

Last night, while at the movies with the kids, they asked if I would consider myself a 'Mom' after MM and I get married. I told them no - I believe a Mom is someone who gives birth and raises her children. Or a woman that raises children. I said that if they were younger, I might consider myself a Mom, but I don't.

When I was younger the main reason I wanted to have children was so that I could be the mother I never had. I wanted to do all the things for my kids that I wished my mother had done. That is the wrong reason to have children and I'm glad I discovered my motives before I had any children.

I'm doing this 7-day diary leading up to the wedding. Each day I write my thoughts based on the lead-in phrase for that day. This will be given to Mr. Me on our wedding day, he has one too. Anyway, part of what I wrote today is how much I've been missing him these past few days and how I know I would be able to rest if he were here. *part of the reason for this post is that I just can't get back to sleep!* I expressed how, before I met him, God was the only one that could comfort me when I was troubled and really couldn't sleep. Not that Mr. Me is a replacement for God, but I truly believe that God shows Himself to me through MM at times. God blessed me with MM to be one of his representatives here on earth.

Now let me see if I can fall back asleep.

Days 10-7

2010-05-09T07:49:00.000-04:00

Day 10 was Cinco de Mayo. My last Cinco de Mayo as a single woman. And when GradyB was talking like she wasn't going to hang with us, I couldn't believe she would miss my last Cinco de Mayo as a single. She came. LOL

We went to our favorite Mexican spot for drinks and food. But I was almost left out. Thumbelina sent an email to ToolTime about plans. I wasn't on that email. I'm finding that my girls are making plans without me more often. ToolTime said it's because I'm considered married. Yes, married women can't do all the things they did while single, but I'm not dying! The difference with me is, most nights Mr. Me gets home after happy hour time and I won't have any young kids. So there will be some nights when I can hang a little after work.

One of the main things MM's friends gripe about is the fact that their wives don't have social lives. He loves the fact that I won't look to him for all my social events. It's great that we enjoy a lot of the same things. But when I want to go to an event that's not his cup of tea, I have friends. So I've expressed to my friends that I still need them. Let's see what they do with that bit of info...

I did not get in my workout that night. I was beat. But I did get up first thing in the morning on Day 9 and hit the gym. I had my physical this morning. The doctor told me the negative effects of running on my body and gave me some recommendations that would make running even more boring for me. I'm going to try some other things first. She told me I've lost 8 lbs since my last visit in February, but I'm 13 lbs heavier than last year. I've pretty much taken a scale sabbatical...

Mr. Me left for Vegas on this day (Thursday). Because I missed working out on Wednesday, I was planning to hit the elliptical for at least 30 minutes after work and then hit the sack. Nope, ToolTime called and convinced me to go out to watch the game. That took A LOT of convincing, LOL!

Because I had the 5k on Saturday, I just got a light elliptical workout on Friday (day 8) morning. After work Friday I went searching for a bra for my wedding. I thought I secured one Wednesday but then realized it didn't have enough plunge for my dress. Didn't find anything Friday night. As a matter of fact, they told me they didn't make convertible plunge bras in my size. The search continued.

Saturday (day 7) I arose early for the race. I think I had a pretty good run. Then ToolTime and had lunch and went searching for bathing suits. After shopping I dropped my eldest step-daughter off at prom. The Teen, younger daughter and I went to the movies. After which we picked her up, I dropped them off and made it back home at 1am. Oh and by the way, I finally met Mr. Me's ex-wife. Long day with no nap. After taking Babee out, I got ready for bed.

Why did my dog start her deep barking at 2:30 am??? So I thought she REALLY had to go and took her outside. She starts playing! When I put her back in the crate she started barking again, so I moved the crate down to the garage. Then miss thang decides to run from me! As soon as I would get her downstairs she would run back in the house and up the stairs. It took 2 rounds of that before I caught a clue to shut the door when we got in garage. I was tired y'all! I finally got her in the crate and got me in the bed at 3:30am.

Because I still love my puppy, I was up this morning at 6:30 to take her out. Yes, I missed church and am watching it on the Internet. My knees hurt, I think more from running up and down the stairs after Babee than my run.

I have so much more to share but wanted to give a quick(?) update. Pastor's on, gotta go!

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Teen Chronicles

2010-05-05T10:47:00.004-04:00

The job has limited my access time to blogger, so let's see if I can get this out.

First of all, thanks for your prayers and encouraging words. Let me state that last night's post was not as serious as it seems. I have a dry humor side and putting LOL at the end of something takes away from the funny. Well at least for me it does. So at no point did I fear that Mr. Me would go to jail but we both were pretty hot.

The Teen has this thing about leaving the house without telling his Dad. When MM got ready to head over to our house (they pretty much stay there now), Teen was missing. MM waited around for an hour, left lunch money on the counter and left.

The Teen called me looking for his Dad. I had not talked to MM to know Teen had left the house, but I know he has a history so I asked him what time did he get home. He acted like he didn't understand my question so I knew he was in the wrong. By the time Teen got in touch with MM he asked in an accusing voice "Why did you leave me?" - he then proceeded to lie about leaving the house, proclaiming (very adamantly) that he was sleep. Well MM had cased the house before leaving so...

By the time MM was at my house, he was H-O-T but he calmed down. Two hours later, when I was getting ready for bed, MM gets a call from his cousins phone. When he answers, it's the Teen on the other line. He initially claimed that the spare key was not in the lockbox. MM told him it was because he checked before he left. The Teen is also good for locking himself out the house, so they have a combination lockbox on the front door with a spare key. The Teen adamantly proclaimed that the key wasn't in there. It wasn't until MM asked where he was for the past 2 hours that he admitted that he'd left after talking to us earlier and locked himself out. Initially MM wasn't going to drive clear across town (30 minute drive with no traffic) to let him in, but I pointed out that if he didn't - he's putting the burden of the Teen on his cousin (lives around the corner). This is the second time we've had to go back and get the Teen to relieve the cousin so MM was H-O-T!!! So at 10:30 we headed across town to let Teen in the house and 'discipline' him.

We didn't get back home until midnight - messed up my plans to get up at 5:30 to workout so I could celebrate Cinco de Mayo this evening.

For the record, this wasn't a protest of our marriage. The Teen has been wandering and lying for some time now. I'm going to schedule an EAP appointment for him as soon as we get back from our honeymoon.

One more thing, I did stay in the car because as much as Teen needed to be disciplined, I can't watch that. On the ride over I didn't try to talk MM down because his anger was justified. But the radio was on the gospel station. I think that decreased the level of discipline administered.

Day 11

2010-05-04T23:05:00.001-04:00

This day started fine but it's ending with me praying my future husband doesn't go to jail. The Teen has been in rare form this evening resulting in us driving clear across town at 11pm to clean up one of his messes.

I'm staying in the car so they can't call me to testify against my fiancé.

I can't even pray for the Teen because I'm pretty ticked too.

Sorry for the cryptic post but I don't want to put any evidence out here JIC.

Pray for The Teen...

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Day 12

2010-05-03T22:12:00.003-04:00

Day 12 started with thunder and lightning and a dog that wanted nothing to do with either, LOL. Babee was not fond of doing her business in the rain. We'll have to work on that.

I did manage to purchase a new bathing suit and cover up for our honeymoon. I also snagged a new nightie. Thanks to the generous gift card I received from my co-workers, I spent more on these items than I normally would. I still used a coupon though.

I worked out when I got home - I'm challenging myself to workout everyday up to the day before we get married. Then I'm going to take a day off for the wedding and honeymoon travel but I plan to get some form of workout in while on the island. My goal is 5 days per week for the second half of May. Two of which will be strength training. I want to reach my 40th birthday and end National Fitness Month on a high note.

I'm also trying to make my way to the DMV area to run a 5k with my i-BFF, SingleMa, on June 5th. I already asked Mr. Me and he said I could go. I know a lot of women gripe about the word 'submit' but it felt good to get his approval before going ahead with my plans. I don't know why, it just did.

Goodnight - I can't wait to see what Day 11 has in store for me.

Day 13

2010-05-02T22:00:00.002-04:00

We didn't make it to church this morning. Mr. Me didn't get in from his fight party until around 3am. For some reason, I just couldn't sleep with my man out so that means I really didn't get to sleep until 3:30 - Getting up at 5:45 just didn't happen. I was a little disappointed because this would have been our last time worshipping together as single folks. I've been mentioning our last single things, LOL. Like when we went to breakfast at our favorite spot, I mentioned it was our last time going there as singles.

After breakfast we took much needed naps then went to the gym. I had a great workout if I must say so myself. Getting ready for my second 5k. It's like if I'm not training for one, I don't want to run. I hope I'll grow to like running one day. Until then, this is still a challenge for me.

After the gym we set out for our last date as singles, LOL. We had a good time laughing and being affectionate as always. I didn't do anything wedding related today. Gotta get back on my task list tomorrow.

Oh and I think I've been giving Babee too many milkbones. I looked at the box and it said I should give her 1 for every 10lbs. She weighs 16lbs so she should get, at the max, two. Well...I've been giving her treats every time she pees, poops and gets in the cage on command. Not a full milkbone but every outside visit resulted in at least one (split it between pee, poop, in the cage). All in all, she was probably getting 3 or 4 from me. I just have to keep track of what I'm feeding her. Especially this week because Mr. Me won't be around next weekend to inspect any poop. He's going to Vegas for his bachelor weekend. They're calling it Hangover 2 - it better not be, LOL.

Now I'm sitting here on the computer while he watches this scary/suspense movie. I'm not good with this genre. This is one area where we don't sync. He says if he could change one thing about me, it would be that I would like horror films, LOL.

Goodnight all - last two work weeks as a single woman ;-)

Days 15 - 14

2010-05-02T00:46:00.002-04:00

Trying my best to post daily...

Day 15 was work, happy hour with ToolTime while watching the Hawks and bed. Oh, I did have lunch with two former co-workers. About six years ago I had two black women working for me - we were the dream team for real. Anyway, we had lunch and one asked a question that GradyB asked on our drive to New Orleans: How (when) did I know Mr. Me was the One. Good question...

I must admit there was no lightbulb that went off - no epiphany or moment of clarity where I said "He's the One." I do know that our relationship has been easy like Sunday morning, LOL. Don't get me wrong, all relationships have their ups and downs - but there hasn't been one time when I thought "I REALLY can do without all this." Trust me, I've thought that within the first month of EVERY relationship I've been in since college. There haven't been many, but prior to Mr. Me there was a 100% rate of that thought. Not once in this relationship did I think of walking away. Yes, I was going to throw my ring at him that time when I was sick. There was the time when I knew we had to have a 'come to Jesus' meeting the second time I was sick. But I never wanted to break up with him. There have been times that I doubted whether I could do this - but that was along the lines of 'can I be a step-mom' - not can I be in relationship with him.

Throughout the relationship he has been consistent - a first. Most guys start to nut up before the infamous 90 day mark. So, there was no moment when I realized Mr. Me was the One. I just know that the more I spent time with him and got to know him, the more time I wanted to spend with him and know more about him.

My plan was to sleep-in on Day 14, and that is exactly what I did. I woke up around 6am to take Babee out and love on her a bit, but I got back in the bed and didn't get back out until 10:30. Mr. Me made me a hearty brunch of fish, grits and eggs. After I felt my meal had properly digested, I hit the hills near my house for a run. I wish I lived in a flat area... I had a pretty good run. I wanted to run in the rain and I got a little drizzle. Next time I attempt to run in the rain I must remember to wear my contacts. Rain on the glasses is not a good look.

After my run I played with Babee a little. Mr. Me had given her a bath - that's my favorite time to play with her, right after her baths, LOL. We have two things we always do: I give her a doggie massage where she gets on her back and I rub her shoulders, belly and legs; and I sing "Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You" to her. Sometimes I'll sing the entire song and sometimes I just start with the chorus: "I need you Babee..." Most times she's in my lap when I sing to her and she eats it up. I need to get MM to tape us the next time because I'm sure her laptime is getting limited.

After I showered and threw some clothes in the wash, MM and I went shopping. We bought him some clothes for our honeymoon. Can I just say I love the way he looks in royal blue? MM is about the same complexion as Terry Crews. While watching The Family Crews one day Terry had on a royal blue shirt and that color against his skin tone was just WOW! So I finally found a royal blue Polo for Mr. Me. He fought tooth and nail against paying that much for a shirt, but I reminded him that my co-workers got us a Macy's gift card. Plus I told him that color against his skin does IT for me, LOL.

After shopping/errands we parted ways - MM to a fight party and me to the movies with ToolTime. We saw Date Night and that movie was HILARIOUS! We laughed the entire movie. Either we're cornballs or the critics got it wrong. I came home to Babee (had to clean her cage - she has diarrhea) and then I had to finish my hair. I tried on my wedding dress - it fits big but doesn't 'look' big. I'm going to get it altered since I have to get the hooks fixed. I tried it on with the shoes and I must say I'm going to look fabulous on our day. Oh and I haven't lost weight - I guess the dress in the store was slightly smaller, or something.

And now I'm in the bed - pretty late considering I have to get up in 4.5 hours for church. My after church nap is going to be good to me!!!

Day 16

2010-04-30T09:52:00.002-04:00

Yesterday I was met in the parking garage with an issue as I walked into work. And so my workday went - I didn't get off until 8:00pm.

I must admit I was a little ticked that Mr. Me was waiting for me to eat. When he called I told him that I was going to be at work for a while and that I probably wouldn't want to eat. I thought he would go ahead and get dinner. Well, when I called on my way home he asked if I had figured out what I wanted to eat. This was at 8:15 - I told him nothing, I had popcorn at work. Then I realized that he hadn't eaten - so I asked if he wanted me to stop and grab something. He told me to grab him a salad. As I'm headed home after grabbing his salad, I realized he didn't tell me what to grab the Teen. In my ticked-offedness, I could have gone home and just said I assumed the Teen already ate - but I called back. Sure enough, the Teen had not eaten so I had to go BACK to the restaurant to get him something too. I was even more ticked, thinking to myself "those dishes are probably still in the sink and the Teen probably hasn't done any homework."

Imagine my surprise when I walked in the house and the kitchen was spotless! I mean MM cleaned the stove, the refrigerator, wiped down the cabinets. A while ago, I banned him from washing dishes. *yeah, yeah, yeah - why was I ticked thinking the dishes were still in the sink? Because I can be, LOL* He just didn't do a good job at washing dishes. Now, when I've tried to ban him from doing other things in the house - he asked how I like them done or would watch so he could help out. But he never asked about cleaning the kitchen. He's never washed dishes since that day approximately one year ago. So yeah, I was super surprised to see a spotless kitchen.

But the Teen had not done any homework. Admittedly he has testing on Monday and his homework was to study. He claims he studied but when I asked him a few questions I got nothing.

Babee is doing better at following commands. She's getting bigger every day. Lately she's learned to stick her paw on the door of her crate to keep us from closing it. It's so cute - well not to her when we push anyway. She's been good at getting in the cage. A few weeks ago MM said 'GET IN THE CAGE!' and she ran from one end of the house to the other to get in the cage. I said it the next day and she looked at me like I was speaking German - continued sniffing around. Now, she's been obedient. Maybe it's because I keep my rolled up paper with me at all times and she gets a treat when she gets in the cage. Even though I got home pretty late, I still took time to give her a doggie massage before I went to bed.

I also knocked another item off my list. Didn't get to workout yesterday though - that sucks.

The Teen is going to stay at his Mom's house this weekend. First time in almost a month and first time in a LONG time MM and I will be alone. I can walk around the house without a bra!!!

Day 17

2010-04-28T23:03:00.002-04:00

Trying to get back on track.

I knocked two things off my wedding to-do list today. These two things weren't even on the list I originally posted - I've been adding to that list ever since.

I joined a running group about a month ago. Tonight was my first run with the group and while only one other person showed up - it was my best run ever! I'm pretty proud of myself and thankful for the co-leader of the group for hanging back and running with me. I'm running in the Susan G. Komen 5k on May 5th and after today's run, I want to increase my goal - I want to run the 5k in 38 minutes. That would be almost a 3 minute improvement from my 5k in March.

AmazonRed asked a question in my comments. I have never - how should I word this - given a man pleasure via my mouth. Back when I was initially active, that just wasn't the 'in' thing (pre 1992). When I decided to be celibate, I knew I could never give my husband my virginity so I decided that would be a first with my husband. I'm actually excited about trying it for the first time on my honeymoon. I hope I don't blow it (pun intended).

Well, I've just watched the Hawks lose game 5 - what's up with that?!?!!? Time for bed - Day 16 is almost here.

Days 22-18

2010-04-28T09:25:00.003-04:00

Umm yeah - didn't blog at all during my bachelorette weekend. Then last night I was up late helping Teen with his homework so I'm catching up....

My bachelorette weekend was PHENOMENAL!!! All in all, there were 14 of us in New Orleans to celebrate my upcoming nuptials. Because of the rain we missed the jazz fest on Friday but enjoyed the entertainment on the Saturday and Sunday. Before heading out Saturday afternoon for lunch and the jazz fest, my friends put a Ms. Bachelorette sash on me. So I was queen for a day. I think we saw at least 5 bachelorette parties during the weekend.

Friday night was just dinner, but Saturday we set out to shut Bourbon Street down. Well, not really because I can't hang that long, but we ended up staying out until around 3am. And this was after getting up at 6:30 Saturday morning to get in some exercise and no nap. Yeah, I was on 'E' by the time I hit the bed.

The shenanigans started after we got to Bourbon street. First they put a veil on me. This veil had *ehem* male members that lit up and a few *ehem* male member protectors on it (trying to avoid typing certain words to keep the crazies from googling certain words and coming to my site). We all were also given male member straws to be used for our drinks that night. Finally I was given a male member whistle that glowed in the dark. Some might think this is pretty tame, but since I've never had my mouth anywhere near a male member, the whistle and straw were pretty funny.

In honor of Mr. Me, ToolTime pulled out two mini Crown bags - that's his favorite drink and he refers to the bags as 'ghetto banks', LOL. In one bag was a variety of tasks (12 in all). If I didn't complete the task, I had to pull from the other bag. I completed 9 tasks. 2 weren't completed because we did not have time (we were all tired and ready to go to sleep). The one that I really tried to complete but could not was the first one I pulled. My task was to convince a guy to give me a male member protector from his wallet. One man offered to go buy one for me - he was the first person I asked. I should have accepted because 20 guys later, I still did not have one. So I had to pull from the other ghetto bank - I had to take two shooters.

I'm not going to list all the tasks I completed, but I think my favorite was to pinch 10 guys on the bottom and say "Ooh, It's Juicy!" I walked up to a group of approximately 6 guys. I snuck up and pinched the first one and at first he was surprised. But then when he was cool. As I went around pinching the rest - a bunch of other guys came up to stick out their butts. They were going up to the others in my party wanting to get theirs pinched, LOL. I palmed the last two, LOL. We had a ball!!!

Sunday was a chill day. Late breakfast/lunch, a nap (for me), jazz fest, dinner and then the Hookah bar. Yup, I did some hookah. I don't even know if that's the proper way to state that. Monday we headed back to the A.

On the drive back, TaeBo (her idea), ToolTime, Thumbelina and GradyB all gave me some words of wisdom/encouragement. I have the best friends in the world and I REALLY appreciate how they worked to make my weekend special. In attendance were: TaeBo, ToolTime, Thumbelina, GradyB, Bey(once), Icey, Wise Diva, RhysPieces (AKA LU), MrsSaditty, GoddessInTheA and folks that don't have online names - my stylist, her friend and my HR buddy from Houston. HR buddy brought me some crawfish dressing and Icey brought me some kahlua brownies. Both are super delish - had some for dinner last night.

Although I was celebrating the end of my singleness, my love for Mr. Me was always in the forefront. Most of the people I encountered asked me if I was sure about getting married or made some other negative comment. I know it was in jest, but I didn't like that. One guy came up to me in the karaoke spot and gave me the most encouraging comments. He was hanging out with his mother-in-law and they both told me to tell MM "happy wife, happy life" LOL. On the ride up, Thumbelina played this wedding song and I started bawling. While Anita Baker was singing "Giving You the Best that I Got" I started bawling. We were talking about how it's awesome to be actually living the love songs I sang when I was younger. Those words are so true to me.

But while I'm excited to be getting married - this weekend was a little bittersweet. I have had a fulfilling single life. A single life that has been great BECAUSE I have the best friends. We've traveled together, attended sporting events together, celebrated birthdays together, had game night/karaoke parties together *gotten a little tipsy together* and cried together. I must admit I'm going to miss this lifestyle. Don't get me wrong, I plan to have girltime - but I know I can't roll like I used to. Now I can't wait until my girls find their hubbies so we can do a bunch of couple stuff. That's my mission, to get my girls coupled up - for two reasons: so they can experience the immense joy that I have, and so they won't be doing a lot of single things without me. I'm still a little selfish - I ain't changed...

So now I'm less than 3 weeks from becoming Mrs. So much to do, so little time.

Day 23

2010-04-23T05:59:00.001-04:00

First, I want to say "Hi" and thanks to L.P. for your lovely comments. Thanks for coming along for the ride.

Hmm, where did I leave off?

Thursday was a pretty busy day as I had to work AND get ready for my Bachelorette Soiree. Or, Tazapalooza, LOL!

Highlights: we got our marriage license and my dress arrived.

Lowlight: Babee pooped in her cage yesterday AND sometime this morning. Mr. Me is H-O-T!!! I think we need to take her to a puppy psychologist. I wonder if that's covered in my EAP.

Well I'm getting ready to hit the road. Unfortunately I won't be blogging ALL the details of this trip. What happens at Tazapalooza stays at Tazapalooza!!!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Day 24

2010-04-21T23:16:00.001-04:00

Another good day. Busy, but good.

Some folks from work took me to my favorite Mexican restaurant for lunch. We had a great time and then they gave me a Macy's gift card. All this love is overwhelming!

After work I had some errands to run. After tending to Babee, of course. I didn't get back home until 9:30 so no dinner for me.

Since getting home I've been washing clothes and mentally packing for my trip. I'm posting this from my phone because my future husband took over my laptop when I walked out of the room. Just logged me out of FB and everything! Yeah, he needs his own laptop, LOL.

Goodnight.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Day 25

2010-04-21T09:24:00.002-04:00

OK, it looks as if I've started a trend of posting the day after. Today is technically Day 24, but I'm posting about Day 25. How did that happen? Anywho...

Yesterday was a great day. Nothing major happened on the wedding plans front. I got up early, spent time with Babee, MM and I worked out, then I headed to work. I had a doctor's appointment; my 'annual' and a follow-up ultrasound. Good news, the cyst on my ovary is gone! No more ultrasounds for me!!! Bad news, when looking at the calendar to determine my last period I realized that Aunt Flo will come while on my honeymoon. That Sucks Hot Monkey Balls!!!! See what had happened was...

I'm on BCP and when we picked the date I was not supposed to be on. But when I went to London, I forgot my pills at home and since it was close to the end of the estrogen pills - no problem. Aunt Flo would just come a little earlier. Well now that heifer is planning to come to my honeymoon. My gyno gave me a suggestion to prevent this, so we'll see if that works.

After the doctor, I went to the Hawks game and lost a little of my voice - LOL. When I got home, MM and the Teen were eating dinner. MM had moved some more stuff into our home. I opened a drawer and there was his belongings. This is taking some getting used to but I'm loving it.

Some of my co-workers are taking me to lunch today. I know they wanted to have a bridal shower, but I'm difficult like that, LOL.

Day 26

2010-04-20T09:16:00.002-04:00

My goal was to post this before going to bed last night. Looks like I'm 13 hours late, LOL.

Day 26 ended well. Thumbelina, TaeBo and GradyB all made their way to ToolTime's house. We managed to get everything set for the Bachelorette trip - the rental car and hotel had to be changed from ToolTime to one of us. If all goes well, she'll make it to NOLA after the funeral and won't miss much. I think she'll need the 'events' of our weekend to get her mind off everything.

Mr. Me pulled up right behind me when I got home. There was a lot of hugging going on - I just needed to be in his arms. As I was checking the mail, I found a letter from a woman that is very important to me. Other than my grandmother, she was the most influential woman in my life when growing up. I'll call her Mother. Mother showed me Christ. I don't say she showed me to Christ because she was Christ-like - she showed me Christ. I'm not sure if I've told this story here but here goes.

Growing up, we didn't attend church regularly. I remember going with Grandma when I was a tot, but when we started living with her - we didn't go. When Grandma was working (and had a car) she worked nights. I don't recall her having a car after age nine or so. We were CME worshippers at that time - Christmas, Mother's Day and Easter. One day I was walking to the swimming pool and this lady asked if I wanted to go to Vacation Bible School. I was 10. I was a nerd too and I loved school, so I said yes. The Vacation and Bible parts didn't resonate with me - I was going to school in the middle of the summer. I ran home and told Grandma and she was cool with it. That lady picked me up that evening. I had a ball when I got there. I was in Mother's class. We did a play about Ruth and Boaz - I was Ruth. How about that? I'd never been to this church, but after a week of VBS, I was the lead in the play. So Mother asked if I wanted to join the choir. I loved to sing and I had a great time at VBS so I said yes. Of course I had to ask Grandma and after talking to Mother she was cool with it.

Every Saturday Mother would pick my sister and me up for choir rehearsal. Every Sunday she would come get us for church. Not only that, if we were riding down the street and she saw some kids, she would grab them and take them to church too. I learned the benefits of hard work from Mother. We had fundraisers all the time. I'm talking about car washes, selling candy bars, bake sales - you name it. We needed to raise money for the things the choir did - like travel to Tennessee. Mother knew my family didn't have much money, so she would have me come to her house to earn a few dollars every now and then. Looking back on it, she probably had to re-iron the clothes I was hired to press. She probably had to re-mop the floors, etc - but she paid me. Not only would she pay me, but she would also wash and press my hair.

Mother had her own family. Her daughter was the director of our choir. Her husband was a minister. She had plenty of nieces and nephews, but she always made time for the neighborhood children. During my college years, I lost contact but I never forgot her. Once we reconnected, I was a grown adult. I say grown adult because I had some sense about me, LOL. I made sure to always tell and show her how much she meant to me. She recieves something from me every birthday and Mother's Day. But when Grandma died, I realized how important it was to show someone how much you love and appreciate them. Whenever I go back home, I stay with Mother. As she's gotten up in age (she's in her 80's) her health has started to wane, but she's still on the go. Her doctor prescribed that she workout regularly and go to water aerobics. Well, she couldn't afford the elderly workout facility in her neighborhood - so I pay that monthly bill. She said she tells EVERYONE about me. I know her daughter is probably sick of hearing about me! The last time I was in Cleveland, she told me her bathing suit was getting worn out from all the chlorine so I bought her two new bathing suits. Its time for me to make that trip again.

Every time Mother and I talk, she tells me how blessed she is to have me in her life. Then I tell her how much she has blessed me and many others. We always go back and forth about who is more blessed, LOL. This weekend Mother is being honored at an event. I wish I could be there. The theme of the event is to give someone flowers while they are living. So while I can't be there, Mother will receive a plethora of flowers from me.

Back to the letter. The letter was written in her dainty handwriting, reminiscent of my Grandma's handwriting. But out of the letter fell a check. A check for $300!!! After I read the lovely letter about how much she loved me and she loves Mr. Me because he makes me happy - I called her. The first thing she said was that she didn't want me to fuss at her (y'all know I was about to). She said that she HAD to send me something because this is a very special event. She then told me that ever since I told her I was getting married, she was setting a little bit of money away every chance she got so she could send me something. She assured me that this was 'budgeted' and would not hurt her financially. That blessed my heart SO MUCH!!! I'm torn on whether I should cash this check...

While I was talking to Mother, Mr. Me was cooking dinner. So I walked away from that blessing to another of a healthy dinner and two glasses of wine. Needless to say, after we ate - it was bedtime, so I didn't get a chance to post.

Day 26 was a good day and Day 25 has already started on the right foot. Make it a blessed one!

Weekend Revisited

2010-04-19T09:48:00.003-04:00

Days 28 and 27 were so exciting, I have to give the details. My day 26 post will come later.

Friday night Mr. Me walked in the room and handed me a stack of money. To me, it looked like thousands but that's because I don't carry cash, LOL. But it was $400 - he apologized and said he didn't want me to think he was being nonchalant about our wedding spending.

Saturday ToolTime and I set out to find my dress. While she had a doctor's appointment in the mall, I was in Sephora getting my face done. I dropped $159 on make-up!!! I guess that's what happens when you start from scratch. When ToolTime made it out of her doctor's appointment, I handed her $300. Talk about excited!!! She was thrilled to get the wheels moving on her vision, LOL. After I purchased some cute summer/beach wear at my favorite department store, we set out to our first bridal shop.

Because the wedding is informal, I was looking at bridesmaid dresses. This shop was a little dark and all the dresses they tried to show me were much to 'loud' for my tastes - but I found one on the rack. The dress was hung such that it appeared to have one shoulder strap. As I was trying it on, I looked at the shoulder strap and proclaimed that my arm was much too fat to fit, then the attendant should me the other strap. So I put my arm through, the fastened and zipped me, and when I looked in the mirror I was like "err?" ToolTime was looking at me sideways trying to figure out what was going on with this dress - and that is when the attendant realized we'd put the dress on wrong. We had it zipped at the side and it really zipped in the back. That shoulder strap? Well that was decoration that draped across the top of this strapless gown. I LOOKED A MESS!!! LOL. But after we got it together, the dress was very pretty. I needed to try it on with my spanx and a strapless bra, so I agreed to come back.

We grabbed lunch on the way to the second bridal shop and it was here that I found my dress. This wasn't even a dress I originally had on my list when viewing styles on-line, but the reviews for this dress were great. And I can see why. I look beautiful in that dress (if I do say so myself). They didn't have it in the color I initially wanted, but I purchased the dress anyway. The fit and price were too great to pass up. Let me just say that the dress I purchased was less than 1/2 of the first dress I liked.

I found my shoes on day 27, so now I just need to get the proper undergarments and I'll be done with that department. That was the highlight of my weekend.

As it relates to my brief day 27 post, the day started great. We went to church, breakfast and had our after-church naps. Then Mr. Me and the Teen moved some furniture around to further transform the townhouse from 'mine' to 'ours'. After I got a pedicure (and bought my shoes) we had dinner with ToolTime at my favorite Mexican restaurant. During dinner, ToolTime and I had some very engaging conversation with the Teen about grades and responsibility. She explained to him how those of us that got good grades and obeyed our parents were afforded a certain level of freedom that other youth did not. I don't know about you, but because my grades were on point and I respected my elders - I didn't have curfews. I was trusted. It seemed as if the Teen got it.

NOT!!! On our drive home, I think he felt that our relaxed conversation gave him a license to express his opinion. So he brought up his proposal of getting a car and being able to drive across town to go to his old school once he was old to get his license. Basically he would transfer schools when we got married, and then after one year when he's old enough to have a license, 'someone' would buy him a car and we would let him drive approximately 40 miles roundtrip each day so he can go back to his old school. Now, I don't know about you - but that sounds ridiculous to me. Especially since he has been disobeying his father and his grades are shot to hell. So when he brought this back up on our drive home, I proposed that we wait until he's earned our trust and been responsible before we discuss it. He then whined that we weren't willing to compromise on our rules. Compromise?!?!

It was then that we explained compromise = give and take on both sides. We asked him what was he giving. No answer. MM explained to him that this is not a democracy but a dictatorship. We expressed that until he starts paying bills or contributing to a household he has no say. I further said that if he at least had good grades and we trusted him, we might be willing to hear him out. And that's when he said that he's being forced to endure too much change, he thinks we're getting married too soon (MM said there was no way we were taking relationship advice from a 14 year old) and that we had too many rules.

To give a little background on his disobedience. Offense #1 - I have an extra phone on my plan (something I did to get my new iPhone) and MM has it so we can talk for free during the day. One day he told the Teen not to text or surf the internet on that phone because there was no plan. This was AFTER the Teen got a hold of the phone a few months ago and downloaded some ringtones. We took that out of his lunch money. Well, one day I happened to check my usage on-line and he had sent/received 63 TEXT MESSAGES!!!! $15 worth of texting added to my bill. I was LIVID!!! His explanation was that his friends told him it would be free on the weekend. Nevermind what his dad told him...

Offense #2 - he's destroyed two computers by surfing illegal sites. So while at my house we told him to watch where he surfed because it we didn't want any spyware or malware on the computer. Well when I got home Saturday from shopping, Mr. Me was in the office trying to fix the computer. I've had this desktop for 5 years with no problem and now it's shot to hell. Mind you, I had just told ToolTime how excited I was about us taking the Teen to go somewhere and watch the Hawks game. Well that plan was thwarted.

So in addition to getting horrible grades, he simply does not listen. And he wonders why we're so strict. So we ended the conversation with him saying he wants to live with him mom. MM said his feelings wouldn't be hurt - I told him that mine would but I understand. He has two choices; he can live with us and our rules, or live with his mom. From what I understand - Mr. Me lit into him this morning on the way to school.

In the background during this weekend we discovered that ToolTime's guy - the one that she's been dating for the past 6 months is a lying MotherSchmucker. I mean this dude was on some crazy ish. I went to sleep around 11:30 after finding out some more lying crap that stupid mofo had pulled. Then I received a call at 2:30am...my best friend's grandmother passed away. Y'all don't know how it hurt my heart to know my BFF was hurting so much. So I got up and went to ToolTime's house. We watched some comedians on TV, laughed a bit, talked a lot and then fell asleep. A mini slumber party.

Day 26 has been fairly normal thus far. I'm looking for some good news today.

Day 27

2010-04-18T22:20:00.003-04:00

Today started out pretty uneventful. Mr. Me, the Teen and I went to church and then breakfast.

Then after a day of housecleaning, running errands, etc. - the Teen tells us that he does not want us to get married and that he thinks he wants to live with his mom.

The drama continues...

Day 28

2010-04-17T22:44:00.002-04:00

OK, so I started this post on my phone and then lost it. Sooo, since it's bedtime I'll keep it short.

Today I purchased my make-up and my dress. I had a good time doing it too.

Let's see what excitement day 27 brings.

Goodnight all!

Day 29

2010-04-16T10:15:00.004-04:00

When I challenged myself to blog everyday for the last 30 days leading up to becoming Mrs. Me - I didn't expect to be hit with such GREAT blog fodder.

Last night I was working out and ToolTime calls. I declined her first call but then she called right back and I told her I was working out. Common stopped by to visit Babee, so I didn't get a chance to call her right back. After Babee play, I grabbed my phone because Common offered to drive me to the library in her new fancy car. As I'm getting in the car I get a message from Mr. Me. He told me that ToolTime asked him for an increase in the flower budget and he said fine. A 200% INCREASE!!! To bring the drama down - that's just going from $100 to $300, but if you'll recall May 14th started with Mr. Me and I saying our vows in the minister's office. When ToolTime suggested we do it at her gazebo it was with the caveat that it wouldn't cost me anything. Because I knew she wanted to do a 'little' something I told her I'd give her $100. That was the end of it.

Since that conversation approximately 6 months ago, nothing more was said about that amount - until last night. Less than a month before the ceremony. The thing that ticked me off was ToolTime going to Mr. Me and him saying yes. We decided long ago that I was going to be the CFO in our relationship - they both knew I would say no and they both think $200 is no big deal. But I'm looking at the big picture. As I mentioned yesterday, I needed to call to price photographers. What I failed to mention is that Mr. Me was the one that told Chef we would get a photograper - and that he would pay for it. Similarly, he told ToolTime yesterday that he would go ahead and pay the extra $200. That's fine and dandy, but when he told her this - he had in his mind that we weren't getting a photographer. After he promised Chef we would get one. This close to the wedding, there is no more his $$ and my $$ - anything spent is really coming out of our household. That is why I finally caved in about the photographer and decided to look into it - because even if he said he would pay for it, it really would be coming out of 'ours'. Similarly, this extra $200 is not just going to affect his pocket.

When I say I'm looking at the big picture, I'm looking at our near $6,000 honeymoon. I'm looking at the fact that we'll have to put Babee in doggy care while we're gone. I'm looking at the fact that he wants to buy the kids new outfits for the wedding day (4 teenagers) and I'm looking at the 'extra' stuff we'll want to do on our honeymoon. I'm looking at the hotel room for our wedding night (which won't happen now). I'm looking at the cost of the dress and make-up that I'll be purchasing. I'm looking at all this and thinking - I should have just stuck with saying our vows in the minister's office. Because when we decided on the ~ $6,000 honeymoon, it was BECAUSE we weren't going to have a wedding. Because we weren't going to have a wedding, there was no need for me to get a new dress (make-up, shoes, alterations, etc), for Mr. Me to get a new suit or new clothes for the kids, for us to get a hotel room that night - no need for any of that.

Well his suit, shirt and shoes came to about $400. It was a good investment because he will definitely wear it again (and it looks good on him). I've limited my dress budget to $200, there's not telling how much my make-up will cost since I'm not familiar with such costs. The hotel *would have* cost at least $200 for the night and I can't even begin to guess how much it will cost to get the kids' clothes. Let's say $400 for the four of them (I wish) and we're up to an extra $1,000 - EXCLUDING the photographer and flowers.

There was a line in the movie 'Our Family Wedding'. As the couple was planning the wedding with their families, they were getting frustrated because this was not going to be the wedding the couple had in mind. Regina King told them, "Remember, our marriage - their wedding." In my mind, that's only applicable with "they" are paying for the wedding.

Folks keep telling me I only get married once - that is true. But the thing that will make my marriage special is Mr. Me and I promising to be best friend for life (and all that other stuff in the vows). When talking to MM about the extra flower budget this morning, he said he agreed because he wanted the day to be special for us. ToolTime felt that we needed nice 'scenery' for the pictures (when I told her I'd rather have pictures than flowers). Looks like I'm the only one that will be content with entering a covenant with my love and having some pictures of us doing so.

But, because I love these people and I am blessed to have the money to make this happen, I'll fork over the extra $200 for the flowers and $$ for the photographer. I tell you one thing - the next time I'm faced with something like this - I'm definitely going to go with my first mind. I know my tolerance levels and I know what will set me off - and I should not be angry on the 29th day before saying I do. It doesn't help that I remember like no other - so even if the flowers are beautiful and the pictures are awe-inspiring - when I look at them, I'll think of how I felt when all this was going down. The other side of it is - I forgive easily so it will be a quick remembrance then I'll tell myself to shake it off and get on with the festivities.

All I'll say is - I can't wait until the morning of May 15th when we board the plane for our honeymoon.

The Countdown Begins

2010-04-15T09:48:00.002-04:00

Today is the 30th day before I become Mrs. Me. Wow, just....WOW!!!

There are no words that can express what I'm feeling. I mean God has truly blessed me with a wonderful man. *as if you guys didn't know already*

It's amazing because, for a while, I wondered if something was wrong with me. I don't think I'm alone in this thought as a single woman. Ever since I gave my life to Christ back in 1992 - I've tried to be a good person. When I encounter people my goal is to leave them blessed rather than stressed. If I could put a smile on your face - I tried to make that happen. I wasn't going over the top doing things that I thought would attract a man. Perhaps I played myself short, but ever since I was a child, it was instilled in me that my sisters were the pretty ones and I was the smart one. I always knew that I wasn't going to get a man based on my physical features, so I just tried to be the best me I could be. As I watched others constantly get the men, relationships, engagements, marriages - I began to wonder if being the best me I could be was enough. Finally, I settled on the fact that I may never get married - and I was cool with that. In fact, when I met Mr. Me I couldn't emphatically tell him that I wanted to get married one day.

But God knew my heart. He heard the prayers from all the years and put together this man for me. The prayers that changed as I got older and my life changed. He blessed me with the man that I needed and threw in a lot of what I desired. One thing that never changed in my desire for a man - tall, dark skinned with pretty teeth. Yup, that's my boo.

A man that can cook, likes to cook and doesn't mind cooking. Yup, that's my boo.

A blue-collar worker. This is something I said a long time ago - then revisited once I dated a few white-collar workers. I don't want to stereotype, but I realized that a professional man that needed a certain type of woman to represent him was not my type of man.

I've said it on here plenty of times - but he adores me. As I was typing this post, I called him to ask if he wanted to go to the Hawks game this weekend. My job has some discounted tickets and I didn't want to let that pass. He said he doesn't want to go - then asked if I want to go. I said yes, but since he doesn't want to go... and before I could finish my sentence he said something like "If you want to go then we can go, because you know I want to give you everything you want." *swoon* We're not going but his willingness to go just because I want to go was enough. When we went to see Babee, as soon as he saw how much I wanted her he handed over the money. We were supposed to just go look, but the joy on my face caused him to go in his pocket.

Mr. Me spoils me. Throughout my entire life, the only person that has ever spoiled me was me. I pray that I treat him half as well as he treats me. He says I spoil him and I make him happy - so I'll keep doing that until I take my last breath.

Shoot, I went off on a tangent - my original plan for this post was to talk about all I had to do before the big day. This is what I get for trying to keep everything low-key, I'm slacking on preparing for our ceremony. The honeymoon is booked and paid for and so is my bachelorette party in New Orleans. Oh and we have our rings. Everything else? Not so much. In the next thirty days I/we have to do the following:

Obtain our marriage license. This will be done before I leave for New Orleans next week.
Buy a dress. I think this is the most stressful thing on my list. I just want to get a nice sundress. I thought I was going to be able to walk up in Macy's and just grab something - that is not the case. This Saturday, ToolTime and I are going to one of the Bridal Shops to see if I can find what I want in the Bridesmaid department. I refuse to stress over this - if I can't find what I want in a dress, I'll buy a nice spring suit and be done with it.
Reserve the room and pick out the menu for the dinner we're having after the ceremony.
Get Mr. Me and the Teen moved into the house.
Send an instructional email to all the attendees of our ceremony.
Reserve a room for our wedding night.
Buy my wedding night lingerie and some clothes for our honeymoon.
Find a photographer - I'm still undecided on this one, Chef wants us to have one and I want to do that for her. Problem is, the entire ordeal will probably last 15 minutes. But the other day as I was talking to someone about Chef, I realized that she is so good to me, I could do this little thing for her.
Send Chef my invite list with emails for my bridal shower. I've gone back and forth on whether I wanted to have one. I finally said I wasn't, that I'd just do something during my birthday weekend - but she decided to take it over. I've been told not to ask any questions so I'm trying.

To make matters even worse, Mr. Me got his suit, shirt, AND shoes for our ceremony. I'm such a slacker... There's probably some other things that I should be doing but honestly the first item on the list is the most important. I'm going to try my best not to go to the JOP after we get our marriage license and call it a day. Believe it or not, I'm not that comfortable being the center of attention - I think that's why I backed off on the bridal shower. I've had plenty of birthday celebrations and housewarmings - but with each of those, the attendees were getting something out of it. We played games, karaoke and had good food. With these events - I'm not really offering anything to my attendees other than to come and celebrate me. That makes me a little uncomfortable.

Sooo... I am challenging myself to post something every day from now until May 14. That will be 30 straight days of posts. Even if it's a one-liner expressing how I'm feeling that day - I want to record my thoughts in the 30 days leading up to "I do" - hmmm, this will be interesting.

Hang in there with me y'all and thanks for joining me in this journey.

Beach Weekend

2010-04-12T10:42:00.002-04:00

Back from the beach and I had a GREAT time. You would think I was born underwater the way I love the beach and seafood. Well, certain types of seafood - still can't do oysters or mussels (anything gray or slimy).

Mr. Me, the Teen, Babee and I got up in the middle of the night (3:30am) to hit the road. Of course I took Babee out to do her business before we loaded up the car. We didn't get on the road until 4:30. Us girls were ready, it's the guys that prevented us from hitting the road at the intended time of 4:00. The ride down was nice. Beautiful skies and just glad to be away from home.

After we arrived and got situated, TaeBo and I went for a run. I forgot to pack beach towels (what was I thinking?) so we set off to the little shopping plaza nearby. It was 7/10ths of a mile from our beach house and my run pace was HORRIBLE!!! I guess my body wasn't ready after only 3 hours of sleep and sitting in a car for over 5 hours. While we were at the store, ToolTime ordered some bikes for us, so when we got back we hopped on the bikes and headed to lunch. MM didn't want a bike so we brought him something back.

The bikes were cool - all the female bikes had baskets. The Toddler was in a cart behind TaeBo's bike. After dropping some food off to MM (he was relaxing and watching movies - hanging out with Babee), we rode to the beach. It was too cold to REALLY get in the water but we had fun writing our names in the sand and trying to pose for a picture before the waves got us. Then we all did some 'photo shoots' - my shoot took the longest, I'm not good with action pictures.

Friday evening, MM cooked for us and we attempted to watch a movie. Most of us fell asleep during the first 15 minutes. Saturday morning, TaeBo, The Teen, MM and I went for a run. I ran two miles and then ran/walked the last mile. It was a good run. The Teen pretty much kept up with TaeBo. Must be nice to just get up one morning and run 3 miles at around a 10 minute mile pace with no training. So I'm signing him up for my next 5k. MM already said he and the older son were going to run with me so this will be a family affair.

After our run, we showered and mounted the bikes for lunch. We went to a different restaurant - about 3 miles away (the one on Friday was almost right across from the beach house community). It was a little overcast so the breeze from the bike ride was lovely. Ahh, I so want to live on the beach and be able to ride a bike everywhere I go... MM met us for lunch this time. After lunch, us girls (excluding Babee) headed to Seaside. It was a nice little spot about 15 minutes away (drive) from the community. If I had a leash, Babee would have gone with us. After our trip to Seaside, we broke out the wine, cheese and crackers and watched two movies.

As usual, the weather was the best the day we were leaving. We got up Sunday morning for another run and then packed to leave. ToolTime, TaeBo and the Toddler went back to the beach and we hit the road. Traffic on the way back was horrible, but not bad enough to mess up a great weekend. MM and I are thinking of going back later this year with all his kids. It was a nice place.

High/Lowlights of the weekend:

- ToolTime, TaeBo and I trying to take pictures on the porch. TaeBo set her timer to take the pictures and we never seemed to get the pose right. Talk about a giggle fit!!! Finally we got MM to come out and take the picture and the best picture was when we weren't posing.

- Our beach photo shoots, another giggle fit.

- Babee was determined to pee all over the house. I would take her outside and she would only do #2, but as soon as she got back in the house - she wanted to squat. It got to the point where little nerves were shot. Whenever she would squat (or sit down slowly) we would all yell "BABEE!!" Then when she was in the house (out of the cage) one of us had to keep an eye on her to make sure she didn't pee. By the end of Saturday, I was stressed and sad because she got spanked so many times.

- The Teen was great this weekend. Well maybe not great, but in the days leading up to the trip it seemed he did something to make me want to choke him every day. I really enjoyed spending time with him this past weekend.

All in all, it was a great weekend. I can't wait to get back to the beach - which will happen in 33 days. Yup, in 32 days I'll be married and hopping a plane for my honeymoon in 33 days.

New Addition

2010-04-05T13:31:00.005-04:00

This past Saturday, Mr. Me and I got a new baby. Well the closest I'm going to get to 'getting' a new baby. She is a full-bred Rottweiler and her name is Babee - check out the bling. Getting Babee was a blessing because we weren't looking but we knew we were going to get a Rottie eventually.

Mr. Me loves dogs and he's had dogs all his life. I love dogs too, but I haven't owned one since I was a child. Dogs are a huge responsibility and I knew I needed to settle down before making that investment. When I moved back to Atlanta, I was thinking of adopting a dog. I wanted a little dog that I could handle. I mentioned that I had sponsored a Min Pin with a local pet shelter and then when I met Mr. Me, I found out he had one. Prince was a very active little whipper-snapper. A tiny dog for Mr. Me but he'd bought Prince for someone and that person didn't want him. I could tell that Mr. Me wasn't really feeling Prince so when Prince ran away, MM tried to find him but didn't go all out. I was sad when Prince ran away...

We started talking about getting a dog when we got married. He loves Rotts but I was hesitant. I've seen some mean Rotts in my day. MM assured me that they are protective by nature, but not mean, unless someone trains them to be mean. So I agreed we could get one only if we got it as a baby so I could make sure it turned into a big baby. He had two before; a male and a female. He told me the male was a sweetheart but the female was mean. So I only wanted a boy. After that conversation whenever we'd talk about our future dog, we called it baby. I was talking about getting some reflector gear so I could run before the sun came up in the morning. MM said I have to wait until we get baby.

When I asked how much it would cost to buy a Rottweiler he said $500 from someone selling them on the side of the road (which he did NOT recommend) or anywhere from $800 - $1,500 from a reputable place. So I had that in mind and was prepared to place that in our budget after we got married. Well last Thursday GradyB called and told me that her father's Rotts had a litter and he was selling them for $130. Unfortunately, he only had one girl left. But after I talked to MM he recommended that we go see her - that we could discern her temperament as a baby. Saturday we went to see the puppy. I fell in love - and well, you know the rest.

MM already had a cage and some other dog necessities but I needed to get my Babee some good stuff. We stopped and got her a bed (waste of $), some training pads (new to me), some nice food bowls, puppy shampoo, a collar and of course the bling tag you see in her picture. I'm sure I got on MM's nerves with all the questions I asked. A few times he laughed and said "She's a dog, not a baby." But I was serious.

We got her home, fed her and took her out to do her business (she didn't) then we had to put her in the cage to make it to a movie. We'd purchased the tickets the day before, but if we hadn't there would have been no movie going, LOL. She started wimpering when we put her in the cage. It broke my heart to leave her. Periodically throughout the movie I would ask MM if he thought Babee was OK. Did he think she was still crying, etc. At one point in the movie, someone poured some milk - I immediately turned to him and he gave me this 'I know' look. We had to get Babee some milk on the way home.

The first night I didn't sleep well. We had her in the room and I heard every move she made. I've since learned to sleep with her in the room rolling around in MM's clothes. I even tried to put one of my dirty shirts out, but she prefers his. I was jealous at first but then my twitter friends informed me that it must be because his scent is stronger than mine. Can't argue with that.

Sunday we took her to ToolTime's house for Easter dinner. We're trying to get her used to the entire family. She peed on ToolTime's floor twice - I thought we were going to get put out.

Yesterday was torture - I missed her all day at work. MM took her to get her first set of shots and I called throughout the day to see how she was doing. She's a smart puppy, she's already learned how to go on her training pad (when there's one around). She loves to play and I just LOVE.HER!!! The Teen is learning how to care for her. He spanked her yesterday when she peed - and I popped him when I found out. He knows now that he has to take her outside as soon as he lets her out of the cage or make sure a training pad is near.

This weekend, we're going to the beach and we're taking Babee. I can't wait to see her run in the sand. Now let's see how in love I'll be when she's 100 lbs and still trying to jump in my lap, LOL.

I'm getting growner and growner by the minute - a husband, some teens and now a puppy. I got responsibilities y'all!

What a Year!

2010-03-25T16:42:00.005-04:00

March 7th was the anniversary of my first date with Mr. Me. I knew he did not remember and I wanted to get him a little something. It was supposed to be a surprise, but ToolTime blew it when we were hanging out the night before - not the gift, but the fact that our one-year dativersary had arrived.

Anywho - as I looked back over that year I was reminded again of how blessed I am to have such a wonderful man in my life. Every day isn't peaches and cream but most days are. According to him, we never fight. I think we've had two big spats but you've read about those on here. All in all, things are what I'd consider too good to be true - however because I'm witnessing it firsthand - I know it's true. Don't get me wrong, there are still some things that need to be worked on as it concerns his children. But when it comes to the two of us, we run like a well-oiled machine.

He says because he came out of a very bad situation - a bad situation that he tried to work through for a long time - that most stuff just rolls off his back. My little quirks don't bother him. All the things that I felt would hinder a relationship because I'm so set in my ways haven't been an issue for two reasons: 1) He's the same way in some of those areas, and 2) It doesn't matter to him.

He doesn't care which side of the bed he sleeps on. Like me, he likes to fall asleep with some noise (radio, tv). But there are some areas where I've had to adjust - like giving up the remote. We were going through one of workbook sessions and he mentioned I was a remote-hog. I never even noticed it. Apparently, I would walk in the room while he was watching something and just turn the channel. Now that's downright rude! But I never realized it - I guess I would walk into 'my' room with 'my' TV and change to a show 'I' wanted to watch. I've worked on that.

One area where we have the biggest issue (well I do) is our metabolisms. I eat small meals throughout the day - he can go through the day with one big meal. I'm trying to work on his eating because it's unhealthy so I stay on him about portion control. There have been times when we've had to eat separately because of it. Example - after church we always go to breakfast. I only eat 1/3 - 1/2 of my meal. He eats his entire meal and usually gets an extra side of grits. Well, 3-4 hours later - I'm hungry and he's not. He's the cook in our relationship so he'll say that he's going to go fix something. 30 minutes later, he's playing on the computer and I'm starving, LOL. So I've gotten in the habit of eating without him. Also - he'll eat dinner at 10pm. That's entirely too late for me. So if I can't get him to eat smaller meals throughout the day, we'll have a few meals where we eat separately.

Mr. Me doesn't eat beef or pork. Chicken is my least favorite meat to eat. After I finish my church fast, I'm going to leave pork out of my diet, but I'm not giving up beef. This is an issue when we go out to eat. Not sure if I've mentioned this on here, but I love eating off the plates of my dining mates. It's like a tradition to try out one another's entrees. Well when Mr. Me and I go out to eat, sometimes he can't try my food. I'm trying to be more thoughtful in what I order.

Then there's the issue of bathroom and closet space - it will be interesting to see how we work that out, LOL.

Even a year later, he continues to amaze me with his giving ways. When I was running my 5k - he was there. He took pictures before the race, kept the toddler (the artist formerly known as 'our baby', formerly known as my godson) during the race and was posted up with his camera to catch me crossing the finish line. He's even going to train so he can run my June race with me.

Tomorrow - he's going to 'Daddy and Me' day with the toddler. This requires him to miss a half day of work. It's great that he has his own business, but because he has his own business and not paid a salary - this is time when he could be making money. However, when I asked him to do it - he didn't hesitate to step in.

He lets me put my cold feet on him when I get in the bed - and believe you me - they are ice cold. When my hands are cold, he lets me slip them under his shirt to be against his warm back or belly.

He rubs my legs down after a run - and he's good at it.

He makes me feel beautiful, even on my roughest days.

He ALWAYS opens doors for me.

If I mention a goal or a dream to him, he gets behind me and becomes my biggest cheerleader.

When I feel like cooking - he doesn't mind being my apprentice in the kitchen.

Overall - my man has a 'you can have whatever you like' attitude. If I want something, he will move heaven and earth to get it for me. He is the epitome of 'The Rule' - a gem I never thought I'd find. I try every day to tone down my 'wants' because I don't want to wake up one day and my husband is telling me he can't take my selfish ways. We discussed this in pre-marital counseling. He says I'm always asking his opinion and then won't take 'I don't care' for an answer. Thing is, if he doesn't say anything I will take stuff and run with it. We will always eat what I want to eat, go see the movies I want to see, etc. But the other guys in the class (including the leader-husband) said that a man will let us know when he does care. So I'm not going to complain about this blessing from God.

Wow! - I'm getting married 2 weeks shy of my 40th birthday. This time two years ago, I was planning my 40th birthday and telling my friends that no men were allowed because I was sure I wouldn't have one, LOL.

My daily prayer is that I will be the best wife I can be. My desire is to bring him joy and give him all that he deserves. Because he definitely does that for me.

I shole do love that man and in 50 days I will be a Mrs.

My First 5K

2010-03-22T11:10:00.002-04:00

This past Saturday I ran my first 5K. I ran (yup, ran) in the Downtown Dash for Diabetes. I actually trained for it and completed the race in 40:40. Ironically, my race number was 140... I wanted to finish the race in 39 minutes, so I was initially disappointed in my time - but now that I look back on it, I'm proud of myself. Let me tell you why.

I've never been a runner. As a matter of fact, my doctor in Houston told me not to run because of my knee problems. This was when I was 30 lbs lighter so I'm sure she would really advise against it now. My doctor here really doesn't know about my knee problems, but she advised that running was one of the best forms of cardio. My last trainer said the same thing. When I initially heard this I scoffed and replied 'The only time I run is if someone is chasing me.' So how did I end up running? I was inspired by @talktotisha posting her progress on the Couch 2 5K program. So I said I was going to do it. THEN Keyalus actually posted the link on her blog. I'd also known a few other folks that got through this program - women that weighed much more than me - and I finally got rid of the excuses and started. I spent about 3 weeks on week one because I was procrastinating with getting fitted for some running shoes. With my flat feet, I definitely needed running shoes. On November 21, I got my shoes and OFFICIALLY started the program. I even got ToolTime to do it with me.

It took me a little more than 9 weeks to graduate, I can't remember the actual date - but at that time I still couldn't run a 5K. That is because I was running based on time, not distance - so I could run 30 minutes straight. The next month or so before my race, I focused on running the distance. The first time I ran a full 5k it was in 41 minutes on the treadmill. I tried to get in as much outside running as possible but the weather and work schedule didn't permit it. The week before my run I was determined. The Saturday before the race, I ran outside ~~with~~ following @talktotisha. I say following because she runs a 10 minute mile and I was averaging a 13:20 - 13:40 minute mile. The Tuesday and Thursday evenings before the race I ran outside near the job. Thursday I had to go run, then come back to work (sweat and all).

With all my training I was still nervous Saturday morning. I actually had butterflies in my stomach and cried at one point. The main reason - I didn't want to disappoint all the folks that were cheering me on, including me. But once we reached the starting line, I was ready. Knowing I had so many people out there with me brought comfort. I had my playlist ready to go.

I'd read the path before the race, so I knew we started on an incline. That's cool - I prefer to have inclines at the beginning of a run than the end. What I didn't know was we had inclines smack dab in the middle!!! For my Atlanta readers, we started on Courtland/Washington and Edgewood and ran up that hill to MLK, Jr Drive. we then made a left and ran to the Oakland Cemetary. At the 1 mile mark I was running at a 12:24 pace. I wasn't about to pass out (like my run with @talktotisha) so I felt pretty good about meeting my goal. Especially since I started on that incline. I'd like to mention that when I hit the one mile mark, I saw the first person pass me on his way back, LOL.

When we got in the cemetary, there was a slight incline then we went downhill. That was cool, I was expecting an incline on the other side. I was mentally ready for it, so I sped up my pace a little while going downhill to make up for my expected slow trudge up the other side. As I turned the corner and started up the other side I started to get agitated at the folks that would run, then walk, then run again - because I had to go around them. There was one group of folks that was walking 3-deep - almost took up the entire path. Seriously?!?! I'm sure experienced runners deal with this all the time, but I was a little perturbed. After I got past 3-deep, I saw this huge monument at the top of the hill. I thought to myself "all I have to do is get to this monument and it's downhill." NOT! After I got around that monument I was faced with ANOTHER incline. At this point everyone around me was walking.

So I slowed down a bit to take off my jacket and tie it around my waist. At this point, I dropped my iPhone and had to stop to pick it up - then I said to myself "Schmuck it, I'm walking this hill." And I did. It was only about 30 seconds, but I regret it. In my mind, I didn't really run the entire race. It wasn't long before I started running again and saw the 2 mile marker. Only problem was now my iPhone was doing the shuffle thing with my music. I mean really!!! You wanna start acting up NOW!!! I've had this happen before, but it never happens when I did my practice runs. It took me forever to get it to stop - I would venture to guess at least a half-mile. At one point I wanted to throw my iPhone across the street - but you know I didn't, LOL. By the way, @talktotisha showed me how to change my settings on the iPhone so that shuffle mess won't happen again. Praise God!!!

So now I'm running along and passing folks (that feels SO good) and I feel someone come up behind me. I thought it was my 'rabbit' for the majority of the run. My rabbit was this older guy. He was tall and everytime I'd gain on him, he'd speed up so I never actually caught him...until the cemetary incline. He walked the entire incline so I'd passed him before my wardrobe malfunction. But the person coming up on me wasn't my rabbit - it was another guy I passed on the cemetary incline. When I passed him, he was looking at women's butts, LOL. He passed me but that was cool. Until I looked at my watch. It was at this point that I knew I wouldn't make my goal of 39 minutes. I got a little teary-eyed but told myself to suck it up.

That's when I saw the 3 mile marker. I kicked it up and passed the booty-watcher. I was going to 'sprint' to the finish line, until I saw the start of another incline. At which point I yelled "OH HELL NAW!!" and slowed down just abit. As soon as I turned the corner, I realized that the finish line was right there but booty-watcher passed me at this point. The next thing I saw was Mr. Me standing at the finish line ready to take a picture of his boo.

ToolTime did the walk because she was still injured from our trip - so after I gave MM a high-five I saw her sitting with our baby (MM watched the baby while we ran/walked). At that point I was ready to quit running for good. You mean to tell me she walked the course faster than I ran it?!?!? Well, no - the walk was only for one mile, LOL. TaeBo and @talktotisha were way ahead of me, so I didn't meet up with them until we got back to the park.

At the end of the race, I was a little deflated - but later that day, I felt like I do when I ride a rollercoaster; nervous before getting on, wishing I had not got on during the ride and then wanting to go again when I got off, LOL. So now I need to work towards improving my time for my next race. Unfortunately, it's 3 months from now. I know me - I need another race before then. I'd thought about running the Sprint for Cancer with Barista on April 18th, but TaeBo said there were so many people in that race, she really couldn't get a good pace going. She's an experienced runner, so I'll pass on that one. So I'm seriously considering running the Sickle Cell 7K on April 10th. It's a cause that I support, so I may try to push through that extra mile or so. We'll see.

Speaking of causes - Diabetes is a cause near and dear to my heart. I have it on both sides of my family and most would say I'm destined to get it. I've been blessed in that I've never even been told I'm borderline with my physicals. I truly believe it's because I say active. As I was running up that incline in the cemetary, I told myself that I needed to keep going to prevent from winding up in that joint, LOL. At any rate, I'm planning to run this race for as many years as my body and schedule will allow. Next year I'll be fundraising for real not only because it's a worthy cause, but I want to win those two roundtrip tickets given to the highest fundraiser.

If you're thinking of running, afraid of running or even in the midst of training - I can testify that a huge part of it is mental. I have to talk, bribe, threaten and pray myself through runs. Great music helps. Because let me tell you - to me, running is boring. Right now it's a challenge and I hope I grow to actually like it.

Happy running!

Paris - The End

2010-03-17T09:42:00.007-04:00

I never planned to take this long to finish my Paris update. Work got the best of me. So here goes:

The plan was to wake up Sunday morning around 8:30 to get our day started. That didn't happen, we were all pretty tired. We left the hotel around 10:30 and headed to a nearby brasserie for breakfast. It was VERY windy outside. At breakfast GradyB and I couldn't leave France without having French toast. It was GOOD! I ordered a hot chocolate and that's exactly what it was - melted chocolate. I'm not a chocolate lover like that, so I had to order a side of hot water to go with it. The look on our server's face was hilarious as he tried to linger to see what I was going to do with my hot water. ToolTime's coffee was too strong, so I think my melted chocolate helped her get through it. After breakfast we set off to Le Marchet (the market).

The night before, we asked Ricki how to say 'where is' in French. I'm not sure of the proper spelling, but it sounds like 'oooh eh'. The market is an outdoor market that's only open on Wednesday, Friday and Sunday mornings. Le Marchet is located in Neuilly - the Beverly Hills of Paris. When we got off the train, we didn't see the market. We thought it would be right in our faces since it's an outdoor market. GradyB asked a lady "Oooh eh Le Marchet?" and the lady started talking real fast in French, LOL! Eventually she just pointed us in the direction but she did look at us strange. As we approached Le Marchet, we realized why - it was shut down. There was nothing there - not a stray piece of paper - the plaza was clean! We saw others walk to the area with their wheeled shopping bags only to find an empty plaza. We were a little upset because we got Euros specifically for Le Marchet. Most stores are closed on Sundays but we found a few nearby to wander in while we waited for our tour guide to arrive.

When Ricki arrived we learned that the winds were so strong, they had to shut down Le Marchet. We set off on our tour. This is where things get fuzzy. I stopped taking notes because Ricki said her walking guide included all the details. While it does - I didn't make notations on the guide we had to make sure I got it right. But I can tell you that we went to a theater that Paul Robeson performed in quite frequently. We stopped by this famous tea store and purchased some South African teas. We tried to hit up the chocolate shop, but they closed before we could get there.

Our next stop was a monument to Alexander Dumas - one of the most popular French authors and a black man. He is the author of one of my favorite books, The Count of Monte Cristo. When I read that book, I did not know the author was a man of African descent. Had I known I think I would have taken some pride in that fact because it wasn't a book about the 'black experience' and we didn't read it during Black History Month. It was a book that my white classmates loved and didn't feel like they were forced to read it just because it was February. But I digress...

Not far from the monument to Alexander Dumas was a new monument to his father, Thomas-Alexander Dumas. He was a respected General in the French Revolution. His original monument was erected in 1906 and destroyed by the Germans. The new monument represents broken shackles and wasn't erected until April 2009. I've included pictures of the two Dumas monuments below.

On our way to (or from) the monuments we passed by Parc Monceau - an elegant park. The park was closed due to the winds but this was a park that many African Americans enjoyed when they moved to Paris because they were barred from the parks in the US. Unfortunately, we didn't get to experience the loveliness of Parc Monceau but we walked around it...

(Theatre des Champs Elysees)

Prior making the trip, we informed Ricki that we wanted to learn more about Josephine Baker - so we headed to the Theatre des Champs Elysees where Ms. Baker made her Paris debut. We all had to make potty stops so we stopped in this very elegant restaurant next to the theater. This is where GradyB and I got a little nervous. The restaurant was closed, but we managed to get in - not sure how. After going to the restroom, GradyB and I headed back to the elevator. Well, Ricki and ToolTime stopped to admire the view from the restaurant. Then Ricki suggested we take a seat and talk. In the middle of this closed restaurant!!! But we followed orders and this is where Ricki told us all about Josephine Baker. One thing that I did not know (or forgot) was that Josephine got her pilot's license and fought in WWII. All of Paris loved her - we saw a picture of her funeral and the numbers of people rivaled that of the March on Washington.

During our discussion of Josephine Baker, we learned that the African-American/French love affair occurred during WWI. The French treated the US' black soldiers much better than the US. The black soldiers from the US proved to be true warriors, helping the French to win many battles. When the black soldiers returned to the US, they were treated...well you know how they were treated - and that's why many blacks started migrating to Paris. Additionally, the French LOVE jazz. Josephine Baker learned of Paris from two performers that were former soldiers.

After our mid-day meeting in the closed restaurant we departed from Ricki and headed to the Latin district (I think) - destination: Notre Dame. ToolTime went to a catholic school named after Notre Dame so we HAD to go there. But prior to getting on the bus, we caught some cool pictures of the Eiffel Tower - see below.

The Latin district was REALLY nice. Cobblestone streets, nice little shops (open on Sunday) and full of people. We purchased most of our Paris souvenirs here. ToolTime got a chance to see Notre Dame and even go inside during mass. I wish we had more time to spend in the Latin district. After Notre Dame we had time to sit down for dinner before making the mad rush back to: take a picture of the outside of the Louvre, pick up our luggage from the hotel and hop the train to back to the Eurostar station. It got a little heated because GradyB and I don't like getting to places at the last minute - but we managed to make it in time. I hate being rushed, but it was vacation.

So that concludes our Paris excursion. A few things to note. Our hotel was near the Place de la Concorde which holds the Obelisk. The Obelisk is the oldest monument in Paris, donated to France from Egypt. Not far from our hotels was the Church of the Madeleine where Josephine Baker's funeral was held.

Soooo I have to share a funny about the love of my life. Throughout most of my trip, I would send Mr. Me emails or we would get a chance to FB chat. Before I left for Paris, I sent him and email stating that I was not taking my computer so I would probably talk to him when I got back. During the afternoon of our second day in Paris, he tried to call. I guess I didn't hear the phone, so he called ToolTime. She didn't hear the phone either so then he posted a note on GradyB's FB wall. When I finally called him back - he told me he woke up worried because he had not heard from me.

As we were preparing to leave Paris, we got tickled thinking about how my man was on a mad search for me. We joked that he probably would have called the US Embassy in Paris and asked "Oooh Eh Tazzee?" Oh well, that's not as funny in written form as it was when we said it...

I hope you enjoyed my re-cap of my Europe trip. I can't wait to go back.

A Different Paris

2010-03-06T14:05:00.001-05:00

At 6:30am on Saturday we hopped in the cab headed to the Eurostar station. The Eurostar is the train that travels throughout Europe. If you know anything about me, you know I slept the entire ride. It was a nice little nappi-nap.

Our scheduled trip to Paris became 'different' all because of a FB comment. GradyB posted a status update of her London exploits and one of her friends commented about the Black Paris Tour. After I read all the details I knew I wanted to go. So GradyB got it done.

We were blessed because the tour guide doesn't do weekend tours. We were blessed even more because the U. S. Embassy was having a Black History Month program the day we arrived. Now for the deets.

We got off the Eurostar and immediately realized we weren't in Kansas anymore, LOL. In London everyone spoke English; in Paris, not so much. But we managed to get our metro passes and make it to our hotel, which was VERY nice. After checking in we left to have lunch with our tour guide, Ricki.

During lunch, Ricki gave us her history; how she wound up in Paris, how she started the Black Paris tours, etc. We then headed to the Black History program where Ricki presented the film: Before They Die: Remembering the Tulsa Race Riots. When I initially heard the story of Black Wallstreet I was livid. If you don't know the story, please google it and check out the documentary.

There was a very interesting discussion after the documentary. Much of the conversation had to be translated for us. One man in the back made a very passionate comment in French. Upon translation we discovered he was questioning the usefulness of reparations. This man was black, I think he was from Africa. He was met with a very passionate reply by an actor in attendance. We were told that this young actor was like the 'Denzel of Paris' - very much in demand when it came to roles for black males. Denzel was from Cameroon and he spoke very eloquently of how the lives of blacks have been devalued throughout history. It an interesting exchange.

After the movie and discussion we were blessed with the poetry readings of James Emanuel I'd never heard of Mr. Emmanuel but he has over 600 poems! As he read his work, I was reminded of my childhood when I would curl up with a book of Langston Hughes' work. I could read poetry for HOURS! I'm going to get at least one of his books. Google him too.

There was another elder at the program. Clyde Wright (?) traveled the world with the Golden Gate Quartet. He's seen and experienced a lot of Black History. He got choked up a he reflected on some things. As ToolTime said - I can't let anyone cry alone, so I got choked up too. But I really did cry when GradyB, the least emotional of us all, expressed her gratitude to Mr. Emanuel and the rest for letting us take part in the program. It was truly an experience!

Afterward we took pictures, had wine and cheese, and chatted with the Black Parisians. One lady grew up in the same area as GradyB. Another young lady just picked up and moved to Paris from Alaska. No plan, no job, just moved. I wrote down her blogsite, but I seem to have lost my notes. I hope I find them soon. I want to make sure I have the correct info here.

Next up was a bus ride to little Africa where we had some delicious food at this little African restaurant. The best food I had the entire trip. Earlier in the day we discussed going to a jazz club but we were worn OWT!

GradyB wanted to get a pic of the Eiffel Tower at night so that was our final task of the evening. Unfortunately it was cold, rainy AND windy! I stayed a little sheltered from the elements while they took pictures. The results were hilarious! ToolTime got pics of her umbrella blocking the camera, then the umbrella blown to the ground. I think she got one of the tower, LOL.

Next up: bedtime.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Europe Interruption - Challenge Update

2010-03-03T11:24:00.003-05:00

We interrupt the Adventures of Tazzee in Europe for the following:

I met my goal of working out at least 4 days last week. When I left for London, I had NO IDEA how much walking and stair climbing I would do! So in addition to my one day of running, I walked and climbed more steps than I've done in years. I made decent choices with my eating. There weren't many restaurants where I could get good veggies. I also lost 1.2 lbs. That surprised me considering my eating. Unfortunately, I'm still about a half pound higher than my lowest point this year. But that and more will be gone at my next weigh-in.

My goal for this week (and March) is to workout everyday. March is going to be my bootcamp month - I plan to workout for at least 20 minutes everyday for 30 days. This started yesterday. Although I didn't leave work until 8pm (I'm starting 3rd quarter close) and my ankle was still swollen (no running) I went home and did some strength training while watching last week's episode of MV7's show. I brought the ball, bands and mat up from the exercise room and did the following:

Crunches on the ball
Chest presses with the band and ball
Rows with the band while seated on the ball
Wall push-ups
Calf raises
Reverse crunches
Side crunches
Bicep curls with the bands

I did all this for a little less than 30 minutes. It felt good, it's been a while since I've done any strength training. I need to get back to doing regular push-ups. I also wrapped my ankle last night - it feels better this morning. I'll try it out on the treadmill this evening. I have a date to run at Stone Mountain this Saturday with my 5k teammate Tisha.

I hope to post the first of my Paris escapades this evening. The downside to my iPhone app is that I can't edit a post saved on the phone from my computer. I don't want to re-type all that I have so when I get time to sit down and finish on the phone, I will.

Mr. Me

I missed my man while I was gone - but not as much as I thought I would. It was a healthy missing, but because we were running the entire time, I didn't have a chance to get melancholy. He's a history buff, so I know we'll be going back in the next few years. Most of the time I was just wishing he could see what I was seeing.

But then when I got back and saw him at the airport - it was over. I didn't want to leave his arms! Although I did have to put a stop on all the kissing because we were in public. We went to class that night and I spent the entire class touching him or leaning on his shoulder - when I wasn't writing something. I love that man so much!!!

We will be exchanging vows 73 days from today. I can't wait to call him my husband and be considered a Mrs. I've come a long way. Who'da thunk I'd be getting married two weeks before my 40th birthday? I certainly didn't. Sometimes I still can't believe it - I'M GOING TO BE SOMEBODY'S WIFE!!!! I just pray that I will be the best wife I can to him because he deserves it. I pray that I will be a good step-mom to his kids. I just want him to be happy - to be able to see that beautiful smile of his every day and know that I'm the reason it's there. OK, that is all - I'm getting a little emotional...

Train(ing) Day

2010-02-28T18:02:00.001-05:00

London Day 2.

I got up bright and early to run. It was interesting putting 5k as my distance goal. This was a run/walk. I really didn't know what pace to use, so I wore myself out early. Afterwards, I calculated my run pace to be 5mph or 12 min miles. That's the pace I desire but I'm not quite there yet.

But you don't want to read about my running, you want to read about London. Day 2 was more sightseeing. When we saw sun shining through the window, we were SO excited! We grabbed our shades and headed out to the cold. Yup, IT.WAS.COLD!!! First stop: Madame Tussauds.

I'm not big on wax figures, they freak me out a little, but I did want to see the original Madame Tussauds. When we exited the train it was sunny and cold so we hastily made our way to the museum. We were met with a 2-hour line at Madame Tussauds so we got a picture of Napolean and hastily made our way back to the tube *that's the subway/train for you folks in the States*. Next stop: London Bridge.

I couldn't go to London without seeing the bridge that was falling down most of my grade school years. There is a tour called The London Bridge Experience but it's like a haunted house and I don't do horror. So we just wanted to see the bridge.

First of all, it was even colder on the pier. We quickly made our way to the walkway. We were standing between the London Bridge and the Tower Bridge. Umm the London Bridge is quite underwhelming. So much so ToolTime could not believe it was The London Bridge. She had to take a picture of the name engraved on the bridge. The Tower Bridge was cute. Next stop: Brixton.

Brixton is the predominantly black area of London. As soon as we came out of the train station I thought of Harlem. It wasn't as cold in Brixton. I'm not sure if that's due to the weather or my soul was warmed at the site of all the brown people.

We stopped in one of the cheap department stores, then set out to find a Caribbean restaurant. Lunch was oxtails and rice for me; jerk chicken for ToolTime. Then back on the train for Nottinghill.

Once again we were in the sunny cold, so we quickly toured the quaint little shops of Nottinghill. On the way back to the flat we got on the wrong train. Our first mis-train of many rides. The train we boarded was headed to Wimbledon. As much as we would have enjoyed a trip there we running out of tour time. Next stop: our flat.

But first we had to do a little shopping. As we walked back to the flat we purchased boots, sunglasses, jewelry (ToolTime), socks (both) and a purse (me). Back at the flat we rested a bit while waiting for GradyB to get back from her work trip to Brussels. Next stop: the Club.

We put on our party clothes (and shoes) and hopped on the train for a night out in London. We chose a club that served food and played R&B and hip-hop. As we approached the spot they had the velvet rope out with a bunch of folks in line. The kitchen was closing in 30 minutes (we didn't leave the flat until 11:30) so we set out to find some grub.

We walked around Picadilly Circus in heels for a while. The only restaurants open were Chinese and I'm not a fan. After searching for 30 minutes we sat down to eat Subway around 1am. The Subway in London does not have the daily $3.99 special...

The trains had stopped running so, after our gourmet meal, we hopped on the bus back to the flat. Back home at 2am, we had to prep for our trip to Paris the following day. Our taxi was due to pick us up at 6:30. Not much sleep ahead.

So that was day 2. As you can see, we spent more time on the train (thus, the title) than our attractions. Next stop: Gay Paris!

Sightseeing - London

2010-02-26T12:59:00.002-05:00

On Thursday ToolTime and I set out for some sightseeing. As I mentioned before, we slept late so we missed the changing of the guards, but we did head to Buckingham Palace...after lunch at 1pm. Yup, we were supposed to leave the flat at 10am but we didn't wake up until 11am. After getting ready, we headed to the train but first we stopped at Oriel for lunch. As we're sitting, we realize that this restaurant was closing - like on Friday! The restaurant was packed and the food was great so I'm not sure why they were closing.

Did I tell you guys that I'm giving up fried foods for Lent? Well, I am - which is hard here in London because chips (thick fries) come with everything! I ordered a salad for my entree and the waiter asked if I wanted a side of chips with it. And the folks eat chips with mayonnaise.

Anywho - after lunch we hopped on the train to Buckingham Palace. We took a few pictures in the rain and then hopped back on the train to see Big Ben, Westminster Abbey and the Halls of Parliament. To get out the rain, we watched a public hearing in Parliament. That was quite 'interesting'... We got some more rain pictures then hopped on the train to Piccadilly Circus. Piccadilly Circus is similar to Times Square; theater, half price ticket offices, huge billboards and much traffic. It was in this area that we found a 2-for-1 happy hour. Yeah...that was pretty nice.

After a rest from all the walking with some drinks, we hopped BACK on the train and headed to Harrod's. I didn't buy anything in Harrod's - too rich for my blood. The stuff was nice though and the store looks really nice at night, probably better if it wasn't raining. After Harrod's we went to a quaint little Italian restaurant for dinner. A quaint little restaurant where ToolTime coerced me into sharing a bottle of wine with her. I'm not much of a wine drinker, but this bottle was tasty. And we managed to drink the entire bottle. I'm not much of a drinker period - so I was nice by the time we left the restaurant.

We attempted to hop back on the train to head back to the flat, but the Harrod's station was shut down - so we hopped on the bus. As we were walking to the flat, I had the great idea to stop in LA Fitness and purchase a 1-day pass. I couldn't get through the week without running and this is not a place I feel comfy running outside. In addition to the slim sidewalks, I still haven't gotten used to the traffic so I don't always look in the right direction when crossing the street. So yeah, I paid for a one day pass. The actual price was 20 lbs (approx $30) but after my utter surprise at that price and me telling him that I was only going to be there for about an hour, he cut me some slack and I only paid 10 lbs.

We made it back to the flat around 10:30pm and I was pooped! But not so pooped that I didn't stay up for almost 2 hours! Boy oh boy, I regretted that when I had to get up this morning to workout.

Stay tuned for more London adventures...

Walking, walking and more walking

2010-02-25T07:32:00.003-05:00

So we're here. Our flight arrived at noon London-time and as soon as we got off the plane, we walked. And walked, LOL. We walked the equivalent of going from Terminal D to baggage claim at the Atlanta airport. If I'm not mistaken, that's about a mile.

After we got our luggage we headed to the train. Except we went the wrong way - more walking. The train ride from the airport to GradyB's place was long enough to get a quick nap, which was great because umm we got lost after leaving the train station which led to even more walking. While on the train we saw the sun *gasp* and when we left the train station, there was a little light left. Had we known where we were going, we could have made it to GradyB's place before the rain started but nooooo. We walked in circle for a while before calling to get back on track. Right after talking with GradyB and discovering the error of our ways - the rain started.

All in all, I would guess that ToolTime and I walked a good 2.5 miles yesterday. Which is good considering I forgot my workout stuff. And trust me, when I walk it's exercise. I don't understand the concept of 'strolling'.

We overslept this morning, so we missed the changing of the guards. But we are heading out to do some sight-seeing shortly (and more walking). Didn't take any pictures yesterday but I will today. Unfortunately, I didn't bring the cord to my camera so I won't be able to upload the pictures until I get back.

No rain right now, but I'm sure we'll see some before the day is over.

London Bound!

2010-02-23T22:01:00.001-05:00

My flight leaves in an hour. ToolTime and I grabbed a bite to eat before the flight because we both plan to fall asleep as soon as the plane departs.

I've already set myself back for my goals this week. I did not pack my bands or a workout DVD. I also discovered my LA Fitness membership does not work in London. I will be checking on a day pass.

I already miss Mr. Me. This is the longest we'll be apart since we met. But I plan to have a ball and limit my mentions of him. I've heard that I can be pitiful on trips when I'm in love...

Challenge Update

2010-02-22T13:32:00.006-05:00

So I participated in two challenges last week. Single Ma challenged me to cook while she drank veggie juice. Then I joined the Easter challenge where I kept my goal the same - cook for 8 meals. As I stated Friday - I do enjoy cooking, but it just does NOT fit in my weekly schedule. I don't think I'll have a problem cooking for my family while I eat something else because I did that a couple times last week. Although the challenge was for 4 days, with the exception of hanging out with friends Friday night I did not eat out all weekend. Yup, you read that right - Tazzee did not eat out all weekend!

Normally I stop and grab something for breakfast on my way to the salon on Saturdays. Because my stylist is clear across town AND I have to have an early appointment to avoid waiting - I was up at 6:30 am Saturday. I got to the salon at 8 and had an apple while under the dryer. After the salon, I had some peanut butter crackers (I buy those by the case) while on my way to visit a newborn. I did not get home until almost 2pm when I finally ate something - but it was something from my home, not take-out. Right before I took a nap, Mr. Me mentioned putting some meat on the grill. When I woke up from my nap, my boo had been to the grocery store, had the meat seasoned and the charcoal going (guess I slept later than I planned). Later ToolTime, TaeBo and our baby came over. Us girls went to the mall to pick up some things while the guys (Mr. Me and EJJ) hung out at the house. Dinner was the food my man cooked.

Sunday is ALWAYS brunch out after church. We didn't go to church (on purpose) but instead of heading to my favorite brunch spot anyway, we ate at the house. Dinner was leftovers. So I met the cooking goals for both challenges.

Unfortunately, I did not lose a pound this past week - only 0.4. The good thing is ToolTime and I ran 3.1 miles outside on Sunday. It was a great run, except that I experienced that side cramp runners talk of - I've read it can be due to improper hydration. Well that was me. Prior to the run, I only had 2 swallows of water. That's not good for a run outside. I started out at a pretty good pace and was ahead of ToolTime for most of the run, but during the home stretch I saw her little legs passing me and she crossed the 'finish line' long before me. In the end, I averaged around a 13 minute mile (a little better than my first 3.1 mile run) but I know I can do better. I'm looking forward to the next time I get to run outside.

Sooo - I have to think of my goal for this week for the Easter challenge. And I'm stuck!!! I leave for London tomorrow and I have no idea what my eating and working out options will be. I did get an email from GradyB mentioning that we'll pass an LA Fitness on the walk to her house from the train station. Oh Em Gee!!!! I'm praying I'll be able to use my pass over there. Unfortunately, the gym's website doesn't say but GradyB said she would stop in and ask for me. I am going to bring my bands and a DVD - so one of my goals will be to get in at least 20 minutes of working out 4 days this week. As far as eating - I'm going to make good choices, but that's the best I can do. I'm trying for a pound loss again.

I had a moment this weekend - a moment where I was almost reduced to tears with this weight loss stuff. Then I realized that I MUST stop looking at what others are doing and focus on me. I MUST stop trying to lose this weight the way others are and focus on me. I've done it before and I can do it again. Thing is, I lost the majority of the weight in my own little world. I wasn't doing it with a group of other people where I had to hang my head in shame when I didn't lose while celebrating others while they were losing regularly. Recently, my victories have come in the area of running milestones - something like that. The scale has truly been my enemy. So what's a girl to do? Well I'm not going to stop celebrating my friends' successes and I'm definitely not going to give up. What I am going to do is do this nutrition thing MY WAY. You know how 'they' say you should have breakfast like a queen, lunch like a princess and dinner like a pauper? Well my way is usually breakfast like a princess, lunch like a queen and dinner like a pauper. I'm NOT going to have a 'meal' for dinner most days - mainly because of my work and workout schedule and the fact that I consume most of my calories before 5pm. That's a good thing. But recently I've been pretty much forcing myself to actually eat a meal for dinner. Dinner might be a piece of fruit or a bag of low-fat, low-salt popcorn. I will still eat something every 3 hours, but 'dinner' might be a snack.

Mr. Me
Oh how I love this man! With running, trying to cook and trying to lose weight - I haven't been sharing as much about him. From him grilling out for my BFFs and me, then watching the baby while we shop - to him finding a picture of my beloved grandmother and posting it up near the computer... he continues to do things that light up my life.

Let me explain the picture. When he's over, he uses the desktop computer in my office. I usually use my laptop and I don't spend much time in the office. The office houses a bunch of boxes that I need to unpack - but because I don't have office furniture I haven't bothered to unpack the office (gave my furniture away during the last move). I don't know how Mr. Me ran across the picture - probably when he was looking for my printer cord - but one day I go in there to say something to him and there's Grandma. Posted up on the keyboard smiling at him. That touched my heart so!

Another moment - when I was going through the problems with my lady parts and there was a small chance I could be pregnant, I was a little stressed. Even after taking tests, etc. I still felt a little unsure and one time I said 'I can't go through this every month.' That day, he didn't say anything because I was a little emotional. A few days later he brought up the possibility of him getting a vasectomy. Of course I shot that idea down, but as much as I've heard guys shun vasectomies I knew that was a big thing for him. Shoot, he cringed when I mentioned getting his dog fixed - but he was open to doing that if it would bring me peace. I feel so secure when I'm with him and I thank God daily for blessing me with the perfect man for me. Yup, I'm one happy woman.

Now if only I could get rid of this weight...

Hellooo Friday!

2010-02-19T12:40:00.002-05:00

Whew! It's been a week. That challenge from Single Ma wore me out!!! I'm still not done because I have to make up for two meals. I must say, I do enjoy cooking but trying to fit it in my schedule is a bear. I can tell you that I did not follow the meal plan I posted earlier this week. I had chili for lunch 3 days. I had a PB&J sandwich for dinner one night. Last night I had a bowl of cereal for dinner... But I didn't eat out nearly as much as I normally would. Let me give you an example:

Wednesday night I worked much later than planned - 7:30. Normally, I would have gone to the gym and had an apple or something for dinner. Well I was committed to the challenge, so I headed home. I was thinking of baking some tilapia (I did take some out the freezer) and working out while I did - but I was hungry right then! See, I also have to combat my desire not to eat after 9pm. So I made a seafood quesadilla with some steamed broccoli. It was good - but I had to force myself to eat it. My problem is - for some reason cooking takes away my hunger. I don't know what's up with that, but that's why I have to cook in advance. Anywho - I didn't workout Wednesday night... Then I had a doctor's appointment during lunch time on Thursday that I thought would only take an hour. I didn't get out of that office until 2:30 so I was STARVING!!! All I'd had to eat was the apple and pineapple cup I had for breakfast. Sooo - I grabbed a salad on the way home. Although I ate less than half. Because I didn't eat lunch until around 3:30 - I ended up having a bowl of cereal for dinner. But I did fix Mr. Me some seafood quesadillas. He loves my cooking and that makes me want to cook more. So I'll be doing much more Sunday cooking and bringing my lunch for me - and more cooking dinner for my man when he comes over.

Speaking of doctor's appointments... My lady parts are fine, per se. I have a small cyst on my ovary - 2.5cm. Of course, I googled it and my doctor thinks it's a functional cyst. How in the heck is a cyst 'functional' - it's a freaking cyst!!! Nevertheless my doc says it will probably go away but I have to check back in about 2 months. I praying this sucka goes away because my bachelorette party is in about 2 months. I need to be fully funtional - sans a functional cyst. I still have the pain but I'll wait this thing out. Don't want surgery if I don't have to have it. I have a low tolerance for pain and I don't want any unnecessary procedures. They had to do an ultrasound to confirm it was a cyst - that thing was VERY painful. I never want to go through that again - but I have to in 6-8 weeks...

Y'all - I was on an emotional rollercoaster these past two weeks. Wondering what was going on with my good stuff. I mean, I really haven't had any problems with my lady parts. Of course I began to blame it on the fact that I'm now sexually active. Poor Mr. Me - he's had to put up with my inner thoughts that I let out every now and then. Anytime something seems weird with my body, I blame it on the sex. I've always been pretty healthy and in my mind, that's the only change. Well, that and I'm getting up in age. But shoot, I'm not going to accept random happenings simply because I'm approaching 40.

So I woke up this morning thinking - A happy hour sure would be nice. True to form, when I opened my email this morning at work I had a message from ToolTime with the subject line "Is it too early to think about Happy Hour???" - that's my girl! I'm going to wrap up this week with a margarita (or two) at my favorite Mexican spot.

Tomorrow is a hair appointment then some shopping. I want to cop a few things for my London trip - plus I need some things for the house.

Sunday is church, brunch with my boo and then ToolTime and I are going to get in some outdoor running. The weather is forecasted to be perfected for hitting a running trail.

This is one weekend that I'm sure glad to see. Have an awesome weekend folks!!!

Milestone Crossed!

2010-02-17T09:22:00.000-05:00

I finally ran 3.1 miles! It was a challenge for real, starting with me leaving my gym bag at home yesterday morning. Mr. Me was kind enough to bring my bag to me. I knew if I went home to change, I might not make it back out.

Then as I was leaving the office, I realized that my headphones were in another bag! There's no way I'm running without music, so I quickly grabbed my office headphones and headed to the gym.

Because it was late I decided to go to the gym near the office. As I was getting out the car, I realize I didn't have a towel. No problem, I'll use paper towels. When I walked in, there was a line for the treadmill! At 7:30!!! Thankfully the line was gone and a guy was getting off a treadmill as soon as I approached. So I'm ready to go!

As I'm running, I notice that my feet haven't thawed. I have this 'condition' where my hands and feet get and stay colder than normal. My iron levels are fine, it just takes a while to warm up. This is only an issue when I'm rushing like yesterday. Anywho, during the first 5 minutes of my run my feet were a little numb. But I got the feeling back afterwhile.

But by then, my headphones kept slipping out of my right ear. I initially bought this set for working out and now I remember why they were relegated to the office. Throughout my entire run I was fussing with my earphones.

With all this, I was talking myself in and out of stopping. At one point I looked at the clock and almost convinced myself to go home because it was getting late. I wouldn't be able to eat before 9 AND have a meal prepared at home. But I kept going.

About 2 miles in, I started to tell myself I can just finish my 35 minutes and then work on the 3.1 miles the next day. But when I reached 35 minutes, I calculated that I was only 6 minutes from goal. So I pressed on. I ran my last tenth of a mile at a 5mph pace and completed 3.1 miles in 40:40. The rest of the time in the pic was from my cool down at 2.5 mph.

I DID IT!!! My goal is to run my first 5k in 36 minutes. My race is March 20, so I'm going to work on that for the next month. Looking at the weather for the week, I should be able to run outside Sunday.

I'm proud of myself. But I'm suffering a little today because I left my office headphones in my gym bag at home...

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Challenge Part Deux

2010-02-16T10:38:00.003-05:00

So yeah, I'm accepting another challenge:

Trina over at Ah...Me So Hongry! has issued the Cute as a Bunny Weight Loss Challenge to me. Yes, there are others joining this challenge and yes, I'm a day and a half late discovering this challenge but I like to take things personal - so she's issued this challenge to me, LOL. Goal - to lose 7 lbs in 7 weeks. I can handle this.

I am required to set a mini goal for each week of the challenge - my goal this week: yup you guessed it - to eat 8 homecooked meals this week. I had to revise that from the homecooked meals M-Th because I ended up eating out for dinner last night. I don't count breakfast as homecooked because what I eat for breakfast isn't cooked. It's either oatmeal and fruit or my fruit smoothie. So to ensure I stay away from stopping at McD's on the way to work - no eating out breakfast 5 days this week. Oh yeah - the other goal is to lose a pound this week. Thankfully I stepped on the scale yesterday, so I know my starting point for this challenge (not good, not good at all).

I'm already thinking about my goal for next week since I'll be in London... I'm not sure what my eating and exercise options will be. I'm researching before I get on that plane. If all else fails, I'll bring a workout DVD (me no likey) and my strength bands.

So yeah - it's on! I love a challenge. If you want to join with us just mosey on over to the meeting place and let's do this!

Challenge!

2010-02-15T11:22:00.002-05:00

Last Thursday I accepted a challenge. My i-BFF Single Ma challenged me to cook 4 days a week while she'll drink some veggies 4 days a week. Actually the initial challenge was to do it for a week, but in twitterspeak she said '4 a week' and I translated that as 4 days a week...

I've long realized that my main problem in this weight loss thing is the fact that I eat out - A LOT. So I accepted the challenge. My cooking can't be microwave meals and or prepared grocery meals (like that delicious rotisserie chicken) and I have to have fruit or a veggie with each meal. I did clarify that I can use canned beans, bag lettuce and frozen shrimp. Single Ma agreed to those items so NO PROBLEMO! When I told ToolTime about it, she laughed because she knows my definition of a salad can be some bag lettuce (washed thoroughly to get rid of all the fecal matter they found recently) with dressing. I don't need all that extra...

So last night I made a pot of chili. Another thing about me is, I can eat the same thing everyday - so this pot of chili could last me the entire week for lunch. It won't because I have a wonderful fiance' that will help me eat it. The only problem - tonight is our pre-marital class. When I agreed to do this Monday through Thursday, I totally forgot about that. Class is clear across town. I don't have time to go home after work, eat and then make it to class on time. The past two weeks, Mr. Me and I ate out before class. He lives near the church but the first week we thought class started at 7:00. I got to his house at 6:30 and he went straight to the church. We got there early so we sat in the car a little then when we walked inside we realized class started at 7:30. We both were a little snackish (translation: hungry) so we ran to subway to grab a bite before class.

So Monday nights will be tricky. Mr. Me's work isn't always timed perfectly so while the plan in the future will be to meet at his house for dinner, there's no guarantee he'll get home and get dinner started in time. Sometimes he has a 45 minute client that ends up taking 2 hours. He's dedicated to making it to class on time but I'm not going to press him to commit to being finished by 5pm so he can start dinner. Another solution would be for me to bring dinner to work and eat it before class. I know I won't eat it before I leave work, so I might just heat it up at Mr. Me's house. If I do that - I'll have to bring enough for Mr. Me (in case he gets off in time) and The Teen because I can't roll up in his house to eat without food for everyone.

Anyway, I've got some time to figure out Monday nights - the challenge is off next week and possibly the week after due to my London trip. I say the week after because I need to cook on Sundays for this to work and I don't get back until Monday. If I can start the week with meals prepared already then I can prepare meals a day in advance. For example, here's my plan for this week:

Breakfast - oatmeal and fruit or a protein smoothie.
Monday lunch - chili and corn
Monday dinner - ????
Tuesday lunch - chili and corn
Tuesday dinner - shrimp salad
Wednesday lunch - baked tilapia and salad
Wednesday dinner - Stewed Chicken with black beans (a recipe obtained from one of my twitter friends) and broccoli
Thursday lunch - leftovers from Wednesday (this will be tricky because I have a doctor's appt at lunch)
Thursday dinner - baked tilapia and salad
Friday lunch - we're having an office luncheon
Friday dinner - most likely leftover stewed chicken with black beans

Tonight is still up in the air. Mr. Me is working from my side of town today - so he dropped me off at work and will be picking me up for class. Depending on his schedule - he may be able to bring me something to eat. If not, we'll grab something when we get near the church. At any rate, I am planning to work this challenge on a regular basis, not just for this week. So I have time to perfect my cooking schedule.

This is a MAJOR change for me because I don't cook. When I was in Houston and lost my weight, I didn't eat dinner most days. Because I don't get home from work in time to cook dinner for that night and eat it at a decent hour, I would have a slimfast shake or a granola bar - and prepare lunch for the next day. While that worked - it's not healthy for me not to eat dinner. Because we have a cafeteria at my job here, I'd gotten in the habit of just going downstairs to grab lunch. Even when I'd buy groceries to cook in the evenings - some nights I would get home and head straight for the bed. I've thrown away a lot of fresh veggies over the past few months because they would be bad by the time I got around to trying to cook them.

Now that football season is over, I can prep and plan on Sundays for the week. When all else fails, I can go to my trusty backup beans and rice to get me through. While in Houston, I had no choice but to prepare my lunches - I have to adopt that mentality now.

So it's on, I'm up for the challenge.

Running

2010-02-13T13:59:00.001-05:00

So, after almost a week of not running, I finally manage to get out of the bed and out of the house Friday morning. I was determined to run before the snow hit. There was no guarantee I'd be able to go to the gym after work and I could have been snowed in all weekend.

The gym opens at 5:00. As I'm entering the parking lot at 5:10, I see folks running around the lot. I assumed it was a group training. Nope, the gym wasn't open yet. I left at 5:15. Folks were waiting outside in the cold and everything! This is the first time they weren't open on time.

But instead of getting back in the bed, I worked out at home. Then when most of the snow was melted this morning Mr. Me and I went to the gym. I tried to run 3.1 miles straight but it didn't happen.

Next time I won't try something new after taking a week off. I'll get my 3.1 miles in before going to London, that's a guarantee. Who knows? If the weather cooperates, it might even happen outside.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Testing

2010-02-11T20:34:00.000-05:00

Found an app, let's see if it works!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Random Stuff

2010-02-11T10:39:00.002-05:00

It's been a while since I've posted anything. Shame on me! I've been reading blogs and commenting - stuff that I would normally blog about. I've been tweeting - stuff that I could probably blog about. It's just SO much easier to go with the flow on other sites than to open up blogger, title a post and get to typing. It would help if I could do this from my iPhone - but I can't. If I could, you guys would probably get multiple posts a day. Perhaps I need to change templates or look for an app... Anyway - here goes.

Health - I weighed in last Friday and saw the same number on the scale that I saw the week before. Err?!?!? I then showered and got BACK on the scale (as if I had enough dirt on my body to change the scale) - same result. Then I tinkled and got BACK on the scale - nothing. I understand the concept of plateaus, but that was the first week I was on point with exercise AND eating. My twitter friends suggested that it was because I don't cook. I've never cooked and you would think a change from subway sandwiches and your occasional sweet tea to grilled fish and veggies, salads and nothing but water would warrant a loss. Exercise was the same. So, I temporarily gave up... That's what I don't like about this journey. I get discouraged when I do the right thing with no success - especially when I'd been half-tailing it for the previous 3 weeks and losing a lb or two. Friday, I had a very unhealthy lunch followed by drinks and tapas Friday night.

But I was back on it Saturday. Ran another personal best. Saturday night Mr. Me and I went bowling with friends - I ordered a salad. I did sneak 3 of MM's onion rings, but for the most part I was on it. I was ready to conquer this thing. Until I woke up Sunday with horrible cramps. I never get cramps and my 'time' was over so I didn't understand it. These cramps had me out of work Monday and Tuesday - went to the doctor Tuesday, she couldn't tell me anything. She did take a pregnancy test and I'm not pregnant for those of you thinking (wishing) it... So here I am sitting at work with these annoying cramps and I haven't worked out since Saturday. Whenever I make a sudden move, they hurt. Yesterday and today I set my alarm to get up and workout - but they hurt the worst in the morning. I'm going to try again tomorrow. Since I've never been one to get cramps - I don't know if running will make it better or worse. Anywho, I have an appointment with the OB/GYN next Thursday. That's the earliest they could get me in - I'm trying to see if I can work my way into an earlier appointment. This evening, I'm going to get on my elliptical at home - that's lower impact and hopefully won't hurt. We shall see. But I won't be getting on the scale tomorrow - I don't want to get discouraged.

Football - football season is over, let the withdrawal commence. It's not as bad this year because the season's pretty much been over for me since the first/second week of the playoffs - that was when the teams I wanted to be in the Super Bowl were eliminated. Now my focus turns to basketball. The Hawks are doing pretty well this season. I'm also going to keep up with the goings on in the football world.

Valentine's Day - This is my first Vday with Mr. Me. I suggested that we don't do anything special and he asked why. I casually told him that we have so many expenses coming up - we have to finish paying for the honeymoon, we'll incur expenses merging our households, etc. His reply "but you can afford to go to London?" BUSTED!!!

I guess it's a carryover from being single, but Vday does NOTHING for me. If you've been reading me for a while you know that I found out one guy was married on Vday after receiving a call from his wife. A few years ago, I found out another guy was engaged the day after Vday because his fiancee called me. Most Vdays have been spent alone or with my girls. Plus, what in the heck do you get a guy for Vday? One of my twitter guy friends suggested some clothing - I might do that. I just don't know. I guess I could cook for my boo... We'll see.

London - Yup, ToolTime and I are heading to London this month. This will be my last international trip as a single woman. GradyB is in London for work, so we're going to visit her. We're planning to check out the main tourist attractions but I'm really excited about our trip to Paris where we'll be going on the Black Paris tour. I'll definitely report about that. I promise to do better with this trip than with the ones in the past. Translation: I'll finish.

Marriage - I'm going to be married in 3 months. I still can't believe it. It's a little overwhelming. I'm good with the stuff leading up to marriage. We finally started taking our pre-marital counseling classes. The Bachelorette soiree in New Orleans is booked. We're on the pastor's calendar for the actual date. The honeymoon is booked - haven't made the final payment because I'm waiting for Mr. Me to have his passport in hand before we purchase flights and finish paying. We have until March 31 to cancel and if the passport isn't in hand - we'll cancel. I almost had a nervous breakdown because he took a little longer than I would like to actually apply for his passport - but I digress...

I'm still not sure if I'm ready to be a stepmom. I mean - I'll have to stop walking around in just a t-shirt and panties. Sometimes I take my bra off as soon as I close the garage door - no more of that. More importanly, I'll be helping to raise a young black man on a daily basis. Yes, I stay involved in my nephew's life but this is that times 1,000. The Teen is a piece of work too, so this will definitely be a challenge. Just last night we had a LONG conversation about him going to live with his mom. He's upset because he's on punishment for grades and missing curfew. She doesn't keep him on punishment at her house. In talking with him, he's considering it because he wants to run away from punishment - not because he truly wants to live with his mom. After The Teen and I had our conversation, I talked to MM only to find out that we both told him the same thing. I love that we're in sync like that. Personally, I think it will break MM's heart if The Teen decides to live with his mom. But I doubt he'll make that decision. We shall see.

That's about it in my life. Next up - I need to figure out how to blog from my phone. There's gotta be an app for that...

Confession

2010-02-03T14:04:00.002-05:00

With football season coming to an end, I've been catching up on my movies - most on DVD but catching up nonetheless. The only movie I've seen at the theater in the past month is The Book of Eli (loved it!). At home I've managed to see The Proposal, Slumdog Millionaire, The Hangover (2nd time, first time MM didn't think it was funny) and Iron Man. The Proposal was hilarious, but there was one scene where I began crying uncontrollably. Not that me crying uncontrollably is anything new but this leads to my confession...

If you've been reading, you know that I am not having a wedding. Weddings are pretty expensive and I can think of a million other things we can do with that money - including having a wonderful honeymoon. But the main reason that I'm anti-wedding is the fact that my grandmother won't be here. Watching the scene where the grandmother was fussing over the bride really got to me. When I was younger and dreamed of having a wedding - my grandmother was always front and center. I envisioned buying her the most beautiful dress and her beaming with pride when she said "I do." when asked who was giving me away.

In my mind, a formal wedding is nothing to me without my grandmother there to fuss over me. Ever since I heard the song "Because You Loved Me" by Celine Dion, I wanted to sing that to Grandma at my wedding. Instead I sang it at her funeral. I love my family and I'm sure my sisters, Aunt and friends would fuss over me - but it just wouldn't be the same. I know me; I'd get more annoyed at the fact that my Grandma wasn't the one doing the fussing, than basking in the attention. So while I appreciate my loved ones - they aren't Grandma.

Perhaps I've led folks to believe that I never dreamed of having a wedding - that is not true. I've NEVER dreamed of having a big expensive wedding - I'm a realist, and my family has never had any kinds of money but I did dream of being a beautiful bride and Grandma shedding tears of joy when she sees me. I dreamed of my handsome husband dancing with Grandma during the reception and her loving every minute of it.

Grandma was always my biggest fan. She was there to celebrate every achievement in my life - until she was too sick to be there physically. And even when she couldn't be there to witness it, the pride that would exude from her when I told her was just as strong as if she witnessed it first hand. Since her death, most of my achievements have been bittersweet. I thank God forHis many blessings, but I'm also a little sad that Grandma can't share in them with me. She will forever live in my heart, but that is SO different from being able to grasp her dainty hands or feel the warmth of her hugs.

So when people tell me that I MUST have a wedding, it's a once in a lifetime event and that it's a day for me to fulfill my dream - I must graciously disagree (well, maybe not so graciously with some folks). It's impossible for me to experience my dream without Grandma. And while I have many folks in my life that love me dearly - there's no replacement for Grandma. I know she would adore Mr. Me just like the rest of my family.

It's been almost 10 years since my Grandma left me (yup, I still think of it that way). As a matter of fact, my wedding is almost 10 years to the day that she passed. I never even thought of that when I set the date. I'm sure I will have fond memories of Grandma on that day. Some would say that I should be over her death by now. I'm not. I don't get sad every time I think of her. A lot of times I chuckle thinking of how she would respond to certain things.

One day I was watching Grey's Anatomy. One character experienced the death of someone near and dear. She asked another character - when she would get accustomed to living life without her dear departed one and the response was - you never do.

I believe that to be true. This is my confession...

No Weigh!

2010-02-01T12:19:00.002-05:00

*Note: This post was started Friday, but work got in the way. And, well, I don't do much posting on the weekends because that's Mr. Me's time.*

I had a question in my comments as to how much I weigh. As I said - you can ask me anything and I won't be offended. But that doesn't mean I'm going to answer - my weight is off limits, for now. I might disclose it all when I reach my goal - who knows. I doubt it. The reason being, people carry weight differently. So my weight might not reflect how I look or the size I wear. I truly came to this realization when watching Celebrity Fit Club one season. I recall seeing to contestants - one weighed less than the other, but because of the distribution of the weight - the 'heavier' one looked more fit.

With that said - I'm down one more pound this week. I was hoping for two but I had a temporary fall off the wagon Monday. I'll charge the low number to that and the fact that my Auntie is on her way.

I did start week 9 of the couch 2 5k program - I ran 30 minutes straight for the first time in my life and that felt great. I'm slowly but surely becoming a runner. I've also signed up for my first ever 5k - that I shall run. My goal was to run in one before the end of the first quarter and that shall happen.

I've also been looking cuter in my clothes lately. My muffin top LOVES peasant tops and because I'm smaller on the bottom, when I couple jeans (that fit) with a peasant top, I look smaller than I am. I say jeans that fit because I sometimes wear jeans that are too big because of my muffin top - the problem is, those jeans sag in the butt area and that is NOT sexy.

I currently have 3 sizes of clothes in my closet. I have jeans, dresses and suits ranging from size 12 - 16. This is the first time this has ever happened. Before I lost the weight in 2007/08 - I was always a plus-sized girl. Shopping with friends was always unpleasant because I had to shop in the 'womens' section while they shopped in the 'misses' section. I can't stand shopping as it is, so waiting while they tried on clothes and then having them wait while I tried on clothes just prolonged the agony. It took me a while to revamp my wardrobe to my smaller size. One day, ToolTime told me that I made too much money to walk around with safety pins in my clothes. Yup, for a while I was wearing safety pins.

The first time I HAD to shop for clothes after losing some weight is when we went to South Africa. I went to my regular shops and bought a bunch of stuff that was too big. I recall pulling up my shirt for something (I always wore my shirts over my pants) and Thumbelina telling me that my pants were too big. They were but I was still in plus-sized mode. Then a few months later I was back in ATL for something and I went to the mall. While there I ran into Be.yonce and GradyBaby. I asked them to point me to the plus-sized section in Macy's. It was then that GradyBaby told me that if I didn't stop shopping in the plus-sized section, she was going to nominate me for What Not To Wear. They then felt pity on me and allowed me to tag along. It was that day, in May 2007, that I realized that I could buy regular clothes. Approximately one year later is when ToolTime went on my shopping spree to revamp my wardrobe. In October 2008, as I was preparing to move back to Atlanta, I gave away all my plus-sized clothes. Oh how I wish I kept some of those clothes today.

Well, I'm not back in the plus-sized section, but I have worked myself back up to a size 16. But not for long. Today, I have on a suit that I bought back in December. It's a little loose in the waist. More than reach my goal weight, I want to be able to wear all the clothes I bought during 2008. One day I counted 9 suits in my closet that I simply cannot wear. I refuse to donate these clothes because I will definitely get back in them. It's just taking me a little longer than I would like.

And that is why I celebrate the minor victories. Victories like running for 30 minutes and increasing my pace each time I run. Victories like looking better in my clothes. Victories like working out 5 days a week. Victories like staying within my calorie range. I celebrate each victory because each victory encourages me to push myself a little harder.

Technically, I finish the couch 2 5K program this week. I plan to keep running, at least 2 days a week, until I get to a comfortable pace. For my first race, I would like to run a 12 minute mile. Right now I'm running around 12:45 minute miles.

I'm still trying to work out the best eating plan for me. Each week I've been trying something different. I'm a creature of habit, so I know when I get the one that works the best, I'll have no problem sticking with it. I already know that what works for others doesn't necessarily work for me. So I'm still in trial and error mode.

I lost 4 lbs during the month of January. I'm planning to step it up in February and my goal is to lose another 7 lbs. By the end of this month, I expect to be 7 lbs lighter and running a 12 minute mile.

Let's Do It!!!

Progress - Baby Steps

2010-01-22T14:08:00.002-05:00

My goals for 2010 are achievable - for 2010. During the first two weeks of the year I was a little disappointed with myself for not making as much progress as I would have liked. I fell into some pretty bad habits in 2009 and I was expecting to turn on a switch and be back to my old ways - NOT.

So now I'm rejoicing in the baby steps I'm making. With that - here's my update:

Healthy Living - One of my goals is to work out at least 5 days per week. I only got in 4 days the first week of the year, but last week I got in my 5 days and this week is on track for 6 days. I've also been pretty good with my goal of getting at 7 hours of sleep each night. Saturday - Sunday is the most difficult here because I get up at 5:45 for church and most times I'm not sleep by 10:45 on Saturday nights. I'm still on my couch 2 5K program. Next week will be my last week and I'm already looking for my first 5k to tackle. I've also started doing the EA Sports Active personal trainer on the Wii on my off days. This doesn't leave much room for my spin class once per week, so I'll tackle that after I finish my c25K program.

The area where I struggled the most is only drinking water. This was a shock to me because that used to be the area where I excelled when I lost the weight before. I would average between 80 - 100 ounces a day. My issue: the free coke fountain here at work. I thought I could just go cold turkey and that wasn't the case. I was reading Serenity's blog one day and she mentioned weening herself off coke. So I decided to take that route. One day I got Sprite with my lunch instead. Another day I got sweet tea and before I knew it, I was back to drinking water with lunch. The first day that happened I know I consumed over 100 oz of water and that felt good.

With all these small victories, when I stepped on the scale this morning I was down 2lbs so that's 3lbs on the year. 2lbs/week is a healthy weight loss for someone considered obese according to the BMI scale - which is me. My goal is 50 lbs for the year - once I reach the overweight category, then 'they' say 1lb/week is a reasonable goal. One of my goals was to weigh myself once a week and I've changed my mind about that one. Stepping on the scale daily keeps my goal in the forefront of my mind. I know weight can fluctuate based on sodium and water intake temporarily. I don't want to be discouraged just because of one of those fluctuations on my official weigh-in day. For instance, I was 0.6 lbs lighter yesterday than I was this morning. I also know that my weight picks up a little right before my Auntie comes to visit. So I'll weigh-in daily, but only report on my Friday progress.

Relational - Mr. Me and I completed 2 sessions of our book the first weekend of the New Year and another last weekend. I love this book - we have some healthy discussions and the lesson for this upcoming weekend is about roles in the marriage.

I've talked with my sister about having my niece come stay with me for the summer. Mr. Me and I also discussed this. The summer is a busy time for me, so Mr. Me really needs to be on board. We have to work out the logistics, but one of my concerns (that I have yet to mention to my sister or Mr. Me) is my niece and The Teen in the same house. They are both in that hormonal stage and let me just say - I don't trust either of them.

Spiritual - Mr. Me and I attended our first bible study together because we missed church on January 10. As you read in yesterday's post (if you read it) he also went to a men's meeting and I'll be attending a women's meeting next week. We both selected ministries that peaked our interest in our New Members' class back in October. He received a call about one of his and I have yet to hear anything about mine. However I plan to find out more when I attend the meeting next week.

I have been praying more formally to start my day. This gives me time to make sure I focus on my prayer list. My internet-BFF is sending me a fitness prayer journal to help me with this and my healthy living goals. She's the best!

I don't expect to see any movement in my financial goals until mid-year but Mr. Me and I have been talking more about finances.

So there you have it - I'm making progress and celebrating each baby step I take. I pray that you are progressing with your goals also.

Thank You

2010-01-21T21:23:00.002-05:00

OK, so I've been a crybaby lately - just bursting with emotion about my love. Don't be confused, things haven't been perfect - we've been getting on one another's nerves lately. But when I look at the big picture and the fact that we'll be officially one in less than 5 months, I get a little emotional.

I had another episode this morning. Driving to work in traffic, listening to Whitney's 'I Believe In You and Me' Just as the tears started to form, Mr. Me called. The first thing he said was "Thank You"

There was a men's meeting at church Wednesday evening. When we saw the announcement Sunday, Mr. Me said he was going to go. I really wanted him to go because I wanted him to fellowship with other Christian men. As the time approached I followed up - he had a 6pm client and I was afraid he wasn't going to make it but he did. Late last night he called and told me about the meeting, but he was vague. He did say that he spoke in front of the group and I was really proud of him for that.

Well this morning, he called and thanked me for encouraging him to go. The last time we talked about it, he was on his way but he was thankful that the sound in my voice indicated that I would be disappointed in him if he didn't. That encouraged him even more.

He then shared how he shared his testimony in front of the group and in that testimony, he told this group of men how he felt I was a blessing sent straight to him from God.

*y'all know I was crying by then, right?*

In the recent months, things have happened between MM and some of his family members that really broke his heart. As I've said, he's a family person so it's really hit him hard. Well he started talking about how, for every person that's been removed from his life, God has blessed him with a replacement. Then he started naming the people that are close to me and how they are like family to him now. Specifically, he named ToolTime, TaeBo, EJJ, my sisters and Lil Mack.

There were other things said during this emotional conversation, but the overall theme was Thank You.

And now I must say Thank You to my peeps for welcoming my love into the fold.

Music and Other

2010-01-20T10:20:00.002-05:00

Spend My Life

I never knew such a day could come
And I never knew such a love
Could be inside of one
And I never knew what my life was for
But now that you're here I know for sure

I never knew till I looked in your eyes
I was incomplete till the day you walked into my life
And I never knew that my heart could feel
So precious and pure
One love so real

Chorus:
Can I just see you every morning whenI open my eyes
Can I just feel your heart beating beside me
Every night
Can we just feel this way together
Till the end of all time
Can I just spend my life with you

Now baby the days and the weeks
And the years will roll by
But nothing will change the love inside
Of you and I

And baby I'll never find any words
That could explain
Just how much my heart my life
My soul you've changed

(Repeat Chorus)

No touch has ever felt so wonderful
(You are incredible)
And a deeper love I've never known
(I'll never let you go)
I swear this love is true
(Now and forever to you to you)

(Repeat Chorus)

Can you run to these open arms
When no one else understands
Can we tell God and the whole world
You're my woman, and you're my man
Can't you just feel how much I love you
With one touch of my hand
Can I just spend my life with you

Saturday as I was driving to my hair appointment (early in the morning) I was listening to the playlist I made for our engagement party. The song above came on and as I was singing along I started BAWLING! Not just teary-eyed, not just crying but straight up bawling. I shared this on twitter. I have sung along with this song many times. But this was the first time that I realized how real this song is to me. Especially the part I put in bold. That junk is SO real to me. Sometimes when Mr. Me and I tell one another "I love you" the other comes back with "I love you more" Don't tell him this, but I truly believe he loves me more. Why? Because he's been married before - he's had his heart crushed before and yet he's ready to spend his life with me. *dang, I'm starting to tear up again...*

OK, enough with the mushy stuff... I love music. I listen to it all day, everyday. On the way to work, at my desk (except from 1-4est when I break to listen to the 2 Live Stews sportscast - check them out at www.2livestews.com ), while I workout - you name it, if I can I'm listening to music.

As I've stated before, I'm training to run a 5k using the couch 2 5K program. I have a workout playlist, but to run, I needed a playlist that was just a tad more 'hype'. My twitter Fitness Divas and I have been sharing some songs from our playlists. Below is mine (with a little commentary):

Lost Yo Mind, Beyonce' - this song is hard to find, but it goes hard. Helps when I run hills because I tell myself I must have lost my mind trying to run that hill, LOL
Tambourine, Eve - makes me want to run faster
Welcome to Atlanta, Jermaine Dupri and Ludacris
Green Light, John Legend - "I'm ready to go right now"
Stronger, Kanye West - this song motivates me when I want to quit - what doesn't kill me will make me stronger.
Money Maker, Ludacris
Go Baby, Lupe Fiasco - I imagine that Mr. Me is cheering me on when I hear this song
Proud to be Black, Run DMC
Get Busy, Sean Paul
Temperature, Sean Paul
Bring Em Out, T.I
Walk It Out, Remix feature Andre 3k - this is a great pace song for me
One Night Stand, Jazmine Sullivan
Just Fine, Mary J Blige
Get Up, Mary Mary - another song that motivates me when I want to quit "Get up, cause you can't stop"
Boom Boom Pow, Black Eyed Peas - this song was recommended by many. The slow start messes me up sometimes when I'm in a groove though.

The entire playlist runs a little less than an hour. Plenty of time for me to run a 5k. I usually set it on shuffle, so there's no telling what will come on. Most times my iPhone plays Stronger and Get Up right when I need it.

So I titled this post Music and Other - here's the Other part. TIH asked about me and the other kids. This is one of those questions where I can't be as candid because a candid response would require that I reveal some of MM's personal information. Let me just say this - I haven't had a chance to spend a lot of time with the girls. I thought we were going to hang out this past weekend, but that venture got canceled. The oldest son and MM used to be very close but due to some events, they aren't speaking anymore. Prior to this, the oldest and I got along fine. The times I've spent with the girls have been fun but few and far between.

As far as The Teen moving to my place, he is excited about it, but he's not too keen on changing schools. He would love it if he could stay at his current school but that's not going to happen. He isn't terribly upset about it though. I really think he's excited about being an only child. As the baby, he's always had to share the attention. When we all move together, he'll be my 'only child' per se and I think he's excited about that.

I still haven't met MM's ex-wife. The timing hasn't been right as of yet and I'm not going to force. Based on some things that have happened over the past few months, I'm not as pressed about meeting her as before. I plan to meet her before we get married though - I think it's important that she knows who her son is going to be living with. Thing is, she doesn't think our meeting is necessary... imagine that.

Now let me go listen to some more music ;-)

Q&A

2010-01-15T11:25:00.003-05:00

I know I said I was going to provide an update on my goals today, but I got some real cool questions in my comment section that I'm going to answer. Plus I gave a mini-update Wednesday so it's all good (except that I only lost 1lb this week).

belle left the following comment:

Hi,
I spent the last few weeks reading through your archives. I usually don't do that, but I saw your writeup on South Africa and was intrigued. In addition, you once attended my alma mater, Purdue (Go boilers!) so that made you even more intriguing. I also admire your career journey and the fact that you overcame so much in your childhood. You are indeed an inspiration.

I have a few questions...

- You used to blog a lot about being celibate, and then you stopped discussing it. Did you have a change of mind along the way?

- Do you plan to get a prenup since your Significant Other makes less than you, and has a few children?

- Are you at all tempted to have children? And how did you arrive at the decision not to have any?

Love your blog, and God bless!

Detailed, follow-up questions - WOW! I never get those. Thanks belle!

First of all, let me apologize for never finishing my South Africa write-up - I got distracted. I blame it on being a Gemini *I think I read somewhere that Gemini's are bad at finishing stuff...* Thank you for reading all about my life and I'm glad I can inspire. Anyway, on to the questions:

Celibacy - you would not believe how long I've been writing a post about this. It's been in draft status for about 3 months, because it's a little complicated. I didn't change my mind along the way with the concept as a whole, but at one point I thought that I might never get married. So my '40 Before 40' list had "have great sex" as one of the 40 items. At first I had "good" sex but ToolTime encouraged me to strive for excellence, LOL. As I get older, I just didn't want my 'peak' to pass before I got a chance to enjoy it.

I began abstaining from sex in 1992 - prior to that, it was never any good. As you will recall in my archives, I went strong for almost 10 years before my first 'slip' - which I totally blame on the hormone change that we women experience. As I entered into grown-up relationships, I found it harder and harder to abstain, but I was determined to keep at it. Then somewhere along the way, I started getting content with the notion that I may never get married. I was cool with that - but I wanted to experience some good stuff at some point in my life.

Not once has my position on sex changed in that I truly believe it is God's gift for marriage. I believe that when we have sex we are connecting on more than a physical level; it's spiritual. I believe that women change (get crazy) after sex because of the curse God put on us. After the Fall, in addition to pain in childbirth God said that woman would desire her husband and that he would rule over her. Intercourse is a spiritual marriage to me and when we receive from a man in that sort of way, the result is that we desire him and have essentially given him rule over our hearts. My heart has never disconnected from my va-jay-jay and I don't want it to.

With that said, I thought I could take a quick detour to experience some greatness before I turned 40. Yes, that was an ignorant assumption.

Mr. Me and I are sexually active. But our first encounter wasn't because I knew he was my husband to be - it was because I was trying to see if I could experience some greatness before 40. I picked him because in all my other dealings with him, he desired to please me. It was never my intention to enter into a sexual relationship, but as we grew closer and our hearts connected - sex became a part of our relationship. It was like opening Pandora's box. Do I feel convicted? Definitely. There's not a time that we've engaged that I didn't feel bad for disobeying my Heavenly Father. And honestly, I don't even repent because repentence entails turning around from that sin and never going there again. That's not going to happen. But God and I talk about it all the time - and that's the best I can do right now.

Call me naive, but I think Mr. Me would have stayed with me if I continued to want to wait until marriage. I communicated to him early in our relationship my history and I also let him know that I wasn't sure if I wanted to maintain that stance - I was still figuring things out. But I also think that if I had maintained that stance, we would be married by now - because the love we have for one another had to be expressed physically. Honestly, the ONLY reason we haven't gone to the JOP is what it would take to merge our lives. If he didn't have The Teen that would have to change schools mid-year, we'd be married by now.

The thing that trips me out most is the fact that some folks are disappointed that I didn't wait until marriage. I trip because these are folks that don't abstain, nor do they have the desire to. I think they just enjoyed witnessing me struggle. Good thing these folks aren't part of my inner circle and if a member of my inner circle is disappointed - they haven't said anything. Most have been very happy for me. Not happy that I've entered into a life of sin, but happy that I got some...

Prenup - one of my good friends asked about a prenup and I was appalled. Then my financial advisor mentioned it and presented it from a logical position and I briefly thought about it then declined. If you've read my archives, money has never been a motivator for me. I like the fact that I get paid for working hard and I strive to be a good steward over my funds, but in the grand scheme of things - it's not that important. I would NEVER ask Mr. Me to sign a prenup because I don't believe in preparing for the event of divorce. I've waited this long to get married and I truly believe that he is my life partner. Honestly, because he has kids, I thought he might want me to sign one. In all my life, I've never been as sure about a relationship as I am about this one. So, if for some reason we don't make it - I don't think he'll try to take anything from me. Especially considering how things went with his divorce. And losing half my money would be nothing compared to losing him.

Children - not at all tempted to have any. NOT.AT.ALL, LOL At one point in my life I wanted children - four boys and one girl. I wanted to be a stay at home mom and everything. I think I was in a haze during that time in my life... Because I've always been a planner, I was preparing for that life so I never did anything extravagant - didn't want to enjoy a lifestyle that would have to change when I left the workforce to care for my babies (I'm laughing just thinking of that comment). In addition to being a good steward over my finances, prepping for my SAHM life also prompted me to pay off all my debt. I didn't want that burden to keep me in the workforce.

So why the change? I blame (and thank) ToolTime. She was the one that convinced me to stop preparing for what may never come and get out and enjoy life. Well, I'm not sure if she knew why I was such a stick-in-the-mud but she kept on me. I started traveling, got my passport and it was on! As the fog from my haze lifted, I realized that I REALLY didn't want kids. I just wanted to be a good Christian woman and wife. I realized that birthing babies and staying at home didn't necessarily make you a good Christian. Especially when the desire wasn't there. I am a very impatient person and unlike others - my impatience is no respecter of persons. I love children and believe they are a gift from God, but honestly - I don't like kids.

A major turning point was when I kept Lil Mack for almost a year. Lil Mack is my favorite person under the age of 25 - for real. He's a good kid. But I got first hand experience of being a parent. Waking up, getting ready for work then getting him ready for school. Cooking breakfast, taking him to school, going to work, picking him up from school, cooking dinner while he did homework, eating dinner then to baseball practice then home to get ready for bed. It was an experience and I would do it again in a heartbeat - but it's not something I want for my life. I know it would be different with a husband, but I still enjoy sleeping in on Saturdays. I never really do it, but having the option is great. I enjoy being able to go when I want to go. Some say it's selfish - I'll take that...

It was sealed when EJJ was born (the artist formerly known as my godson). Because I love his mother so much, I just knew that I would want to spend a lot of time with him. NOT! I love EJJ and would lay down my life for him, but I have to get my mind right to spend time with him. I have to pray and fast for 21 days (well, not really) so that my patience level can withstand a talkative 3 year old. And when he was younger? Oh I cried when I changed a poo-poo diaper. I'm just not good with kids. The fact that I will be a step-mom is the ONLY thing about getting married that scares me.

I mean really - what was I smoking? I am horrible at keeping house. I CAN cook (why, oh why did I let that out of the bag with Mr. Me? That's a whole 'nother story...) but I don't like to and only cook when needed. I feel that time is better spent out and about enjoying life. I'm sure I'll slow down when we get married, but err umm - me, a stay-at-home mom? Crack is Whack!!!

With all that said - if Mr. Me wanted to have a "union baby" (first heard at my doctor's office - love my doc and her nurse) I would do it. Yup, I love that man that much *praying he never asks for a union baby*

So there you have it belle (and others) - you can ask me anything. I like to think I'm fairly transparent, but I have no problem pleading the fif, LOL.

That was fun! Send me more questions readers - send me more!!!

Struggling

2010-01-13T10:56:00.002-05:00

I'm struggling with my goals. After a year of pretty much half-a$$ing it, I'm finding it hard to be as structured as a I used to be. But I'm still focused on the end result.

I've decided that Fridays will be my day for updates. The New Year started on a Friday, so that's a good day to reflect on how well I've been doing. Friday will also be the day that I weigh-in. It's difficult not getting on that scale daily - but the fact that I really haven't liked what I saw in almost a year helps.

I need to do a detox - I think I will do the Ardens Gardens 2-day detox again. It's an easy one and it helped me with my cravings before. This is a 2-day, liquid only detox. Lately I start my day well but cave toward the end of the day on something stupid, like a soda or something like that.

Last night, Mr. Me and I went to Bible Study. It was my first time attending Bible Study at this church. I've watched on internet while at work before, but being there truly refreshed my spirit. Going with MM made it even better. I truly enjoy worshipping with him.

Wait - I said I was going to update on Fridays, so I'm going to stop right here and give you guys something more concrete in two days.

I will say this - my heart is heavy, heavy for the people of Haiti. Please pray and donate. My charity of choice is that of Wyclef Jean - www.yele.org

Sorry for the disjointed post. Have a blessed day all.

2010 - Goals

2010-01-07T11:25:00.002-05:00

I was determined not to let a full week of 2010 go by without posting my goals. I typed these goals in my iPhone during the drive to Florida on NYE. So here goes:

Healthy Living This is my main goal for 2010. Yes, I'm getting married this year and my life will go through a drastic change - but it's important for me to get myself right before we get married. Enough folks have told me that people usually gain weight when they get married. I can't let that happen - and if it does, my starting point must be lower than where I am now.

I've started the Couch 2 5K program (almost done with week 6, yay me!) so I am going to complete 3 runs during 2010.
Workout at least 5 days a week including 2 days of strength training and one day of spin class. My Christmas gifts will help me complete the strength training at home and I would like to make Saturday my spinning day. I'm still trying to work it all out with the C25K program because, right now, Saturday is the only day I can run outside or on a track. I'm beginning to detest the treadmill.
5 fruits/veggies daily. This will be accomplished by having fruit for breakfast (usually in the form of my protein smoothie) and veggies at lunch and dinner.
Drink water only except for special occasions. A special occasion might be an event like the baby shower I'm attending this weekend or when I decide to have a 'drank'.
Don't eat after 7pm (this will be the difficult with my work schedule)
Get at least 7 hours of sleep each night.
Weigh myself only once a week - this will be a major challenge because I usually step on the scale daily.
With eating, have one cheat day per week.

I don't expect to accomplish all this immediately. My goal is to conquer as I go. Believe it or not, I was doing all of the above, excluding the running and weighing myself once a week during 2007 and most of 2008 when I lost the weight. So I KNOW I can do this. I just need to commit to doing it. The first week of the new year is already messed up because of my holiday travels. I didn't get to do any serious grocery shopping and I didn't workout on Sunday or Monday. There's still a chance for me to get in my 5 days. As far as the fruits and veggies - my favorite fruits and veggies were MIA when I went to the grocery store earlier this week. I need to get back to my routine of getting the Sunday paper, clipping coupons and going shopping for the week every Sunday.

Spiritual - I've slacked in this area over the past year and I really need to get back in the groove:

Become active in at least one ministry at church by June. I'm giving myself until June because I'm still learning the ministries at the church. I would love to get back to teaching, but I know that will require some training and classes - I'm allowing time for that as well.
Complete at least two bible studies- this may be at church or on my own.
Have a formal prayer time daily. I am the 'pray without ceasing' type. Meaning I am continuously praying throughout the day. When I wake, I thank God for the day and when I lay down at night, I thank Him for the day and ask for sweet dreams. But I need to re-incorporate a formal prayer and journal time into my schedule. When I get married, I want Mr. Me and I to have a formal daily prayer time also.

Relational - I think getting the above areas in order will help with this one:

Complete pre-marital counseling *which reminds me, I need to follow-up with the church* and our book. I think I mentioned that, because we had to wait so long to get in class at church, I went ahead and ordered a workbook that I've seen other engaged couples complete. In the beginning we were gung ho with completing our lessons. Then we fell off. There was one week that really required advance prep. When we sat down to complete that week, I realized MM hadn't done his. So I stopped. Since then we've let our busy schedules prevent us from doing what we needed to do. We have until March 31 to cancel the honeymoon with no penalty. I've told MM that if we haven't completed our book (and if he hasn't obtained his passport) by then I'm going to cancel. And if I have to cancel I will be one angry woman. I think he'll be ready to complete the next lesson this weekend.
Get married - needs no explanation
Spend more time with my nephew and TaeBo's son. I no longer refer to TaeBo's son as my godson because ToolTime has been a much better godmother than me. I think his birth really confirmed my desire NOT to have kids because I thought I would be all into spending time with EJJ when he was born - NOT. But now that he's a toddler and potty trained - and we can have a conversation, I'm planning to spend more time with him. My nephew - Lil Mack has always been my road dog. Since I've moved back to Atlanta he and I haven't been hanging as much because my weekends have been with Mr. Me. That's going to change.
Spend more time with my niece. She's not too thrilled with my pending nuptials. At first I thought it was because she felt MM would take her place in my heart. Recent discussions with my sister have revealed that she doesn't understand why I want to get married. My brother-in-law doesn't treat my sister very well and my niece is approaching the age where she really sees this. Their relationship is her example of marriage and she doesn't understand why I would turn in my care-free life for a husband. I need for her to see that all marriages aren't like her parents. I also need to bring her for a visit because her father's side of the family don't treat her well. She's spoiled and has a smart mouth - so I'll need much prayer to accomplish this one.

If you've been reading me for a while, you know that my friends are basically my family. MM is big on family. He's always asking when's the last time I talked to his sister-in-law and wishes I was as close to my sisters as I am to ToolTime and TaeBo. I've spent more time with my sisters these past few months than I have in the past two years. I think that's a good thing, so I'm going to continue that. I've said before that my family loves him but my little sister really loves him. I think it's because she's always viewed me as a little uptight and Mr. Me is more down to earth. Anyway - back to my goals.

Finances - this is short because in less than 6 months my finances will be merged with Mr. Me and I'll have four step-children:

Increase my net worth to $300k or by $50k. The next item will help this.
Pay off Solomon - I've been on the fast track to pay off my car since I bought him and up until I put the downpayment on my house, I always had enough in savings to cover what I owed. I still have enough, but that's designated for my emergency funds - so as I'm building back up my cash savings, I plan to pay off the car.
Sell the rental. My initial goal was to sell the rental last year, but the economy caused my renter to want to put it off a year. She has since signed up with NACA and is excited about buying this summer. I'm upside down in the house so I'll take a hit, but I'm ready to get out of the landlord business. If she doesn't buy, I'll have to put it on the market.
Get Mr. Me on my financial plan. This can be easy or difficult depending on how you look at it. He's already informed me that I will be the CFO of our marriage. That's the good part. But I want him to be a very active participant in our finances. He's joked about having to ask me for money and stuff like that - and I can tell that he would be very content with me handling everything. So my goal is to get him acclimated to my spreadsheets and excited about reconciling accounts like me...

I've been blogging for almost 5 years now. You guys have been with me through my relationship mishaps, my move to Houston and back and while I was pretty cemented in the financial area when I started - I backtracked and shared some of that info with you as well. My former weight loss journey wasn't shared on here because I was heavy into my weight loss website. Well I plan to take you on my healthy living journey with updates. As my blog title implies - I feel that my life is my ministry so I hope that my successes and failures continue to encourage. In the interim - I still can't believe I'm about to be someone's wife!!!

Stay Blessed!

NYE Impact

2010-01-04T16:25:00.004-05:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

One day I was chatting with Serenity on twitter about New Year's Eve. We were discussing our belief that how you bring in the New Year sets the tone for the entire year. I've always believed this but didn't think about how it affected my 2009 until that exchange. Check out my December 31, 2008 and how it played out during 2009:

I Worked - For the first time in YEARS I was not on vacation on December 31. I can't remember the last time I did not take off the entire week between Christmas and the New Year. Well because I'd started a new job with no vacation days I went to work on NYE. During 2009, I worked (and stressed because of work) more than I have in my entire career...that I can recall.

I Was Sick - I had a cold on December 31, 2008. It's not often that I get sick but I was sick more in 2009 than any other year.

Busy - The day was simply busy. ToolTime and I were throwing a NYE party. The plan was for me to go to church after work, then stop and pick up some wings before heading to ToolTime's for the party. If you've been reading this year, you know that I've been running myself ragged all year. I can't imagine how many posts I made stating that I was going to slow down...

Internet Church - Because I wasn't feeling well, I picked up the wings and went to ToolTime's to watch service on the internet instead of making that drive to the other side of town. I substituted worshipping in the church house for internet church more times in 2009 than ever before - sometimes due to travel, but most times it was because I was running myself ragged. Shame on me.

No Goals - I went into 2009 with no goals. My blog post on December 31, 2008 was a pity party post. I was upset about gaining weight, not having a man and the fact that the market negatively affected my finances. As I re-read that post, I ended with a promise to come back with a goals post but I never did. My 2009 reflected that - I really didn't accomplish anything I set out to do other than buy a home.

My Man - The only good thing about December 31, 2008 (as it relates to my reflection) didn't come from me. While at the NYE part, this guy (that I haven't seen since) told me that I would meet my husband by April (or before March 31, 2009) - I blew it off, but he was sincere about that. His wife wrote a book on relationships and I had only met them at a game night one time before - don't know where he got that notion, but I'm glad he got it because, as you all know, I met Mr. Me during the first quarter of 2009. We had our first date on March 7 to be exact.

So this year, I was determined to set the tone for 2010. I took a vacation day on December 31. Although it was a vacay day - I still got up at 4:45 am and went to the gym. Mr. Me and I went to Florida for the holiday, but we were determined to celebrate the New Year by going to church - and we did. We didn't watch service on the internet, we were actually in the church house. I caught a cold around the Christmas holiday and it was pretty much gone by December 31, 2009. I still have a cough, but I'm not sick. As we headed down the highway, I established my goals for 2010 while Mr. Me was driving. I've shared some of them on twitter, but I plan to do a detailed post about them. Even if I don't (which I promise I will) I have them and I had them before the clock struck midnight.

I'm excited about the new decade. I believe I started the year out right and I proclaim this will be the best year of my life. Stay tuned for my goals.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!

2009-12-28T10:51:00.002-05:00

I spent the weekend with a cold - still have one, but other than that Christmas was great.

I was off work Christmas Eve - my plan was to get up early and go running, but my cold shut that down. MM and I left the house around 11 for some errands and shopping. Wednesday evening I bought him a FryDaddy. We said we weren't exchanging gifts so this was really for the both of us: he loves to fry food and I can't stand that smell in my house. While at the mall we went our separate ways and I saw him buying me a gift...so much for our agreement. I don't usually buy gifts for adults - well adults in my generation. We buy for the kids. My sister's give me gifts from their kids. MM's family isn't into gift exchanging either. But every year, the giving spirit jumps on me at the last minute and I want to buy something for everyone, LOL.

My niece and nephews wanted gift cards, that's easy. But then I decided to get my niece a Princess and the Frog gift set. My oldest nephew, Lil Mack is my favorite. I wanted to get him a leather jacket but they were sold out. Then I remembered that he didn't know he was going to the football game with us on Sunday so I bought him a Falcons cap and hoodie to go with his game ticket. While at the store I got MM a matching cap and a sports watch.

Christmas morning was breakfast at my house. Mack and Lil Mack came over. We all ate breakfast then opened our gifts (I broke down and gave Mack a Macy's gift card...) and hit the road. Oh, MM got me a watch too. He's tired of seeing me with my HRM watch all the time. The thing is, I can't wear metals against my skin (other than gold) so it's the only watch I can wear. Well, he found one where the back of the watch face doesn't touch my skin and the seller assured him the 'buckle' wouldn't break me out. I've been wearing the watch loose so the metal hasn't touched me yet. I also got some workout stuff.

After the gift exchange we hit the road to NC. First stopped at my Sissie's house to give the kids their gifts then headed up to my UncleDad's house. I think I've told you guys before, but my family loves MM. Lil Mack and MM were wearing their matching Falcons caps when we got there. The funniest thing was watching my itty bitty Aunt (she might be 5 feet tall) jump up and snatch the cap off MM's head (he's 6'4).

After dinner with them, back to Sissie's house to watch the game (UncleDad doesn't have NFLN), MM and I retired to the hotel. It was there that we finally discussed our spat earlier in the week. He was hurt and felt rejected. He couldn't see my pain through his hurt. I expressed that we can't operate like that, gave him examples of when he hurt me as a result of his frustrations with something else and how I took that into consideration before responding out of my hurt. I know he's not me and won't be able to react the way I do and I know he would never intentionally hurt me, but we both know we have to work on how we handle one another's stressful times. I'd like to think that situations like this will be better when we marry, because his real issue was that we normally don't get to see one another during the week and he wanted to take advantage of this time. We shall see.

Saturday we hit the road back to ATL in time to pick up ToolTime from the airport and head to a bowling party for MM's cousin. Sunday was early service, breakfast then the game.

From Thursday to Sunday - I was in and out of sleep. Although I was taking daytime medicine - it kept knocking me out. Right now I still have a cough and runny nose. I don't have a voice, not because I was yelling at the football game, but because I've been coughing so much. I plan to leave work early today for more rest and cleaning my house for the New Year.

I know I keep saying it but one of these days I'm going to slow down...

Right or Relationship?

2009-12-23T21:19:00.002-05:00

One sage piece of advice I've received concerning marriage is to ask myself - do I want to be right or in a relationship? It's for those times when I know I'm right - but the issue is not big enough to destroy the relationship.

Well folks, I've come across the first time when I'm really questioning this. I pray I'm just on the ledge and prayer and sleep will get me to step back. Perhaps it's the cold talking (yup, I'm coming down with one and I've just taken some cold medicine so we'll see if I get this posted tonight). So let me recap:

As you guys know - I've been working quite a bit. More than usual - it seems as if my busy season is year-round. One time when I was having a crazy day, MM what do I normally need during these times and I said all I needed was a shoulder. Normally, after a 12+ hour day I'm not in the mood for a lot of talking, etc. I just need some arms and a place of rest.

We're deep into quarter end at work and these past two weeks have been super busy. With the holiday, football, etc season - MM and I have been running EVERY weekend. Monday night - I had to work past 8. Because I'm trying to make fitness a habit, I would have gone to the gym afterwards, but MM had made me dinner and I didn't want to disappoint him (the Teen is with his grandparents for the holidays). So I went home, had a late dinner and some conversation and then I was OUT. Had an early meeting Tuesday.

Yesterday, I just KNEW I was getting off work early. I had to take TaeBo and EJJ to the airport so I'd been telling everyone at work that I couldn't work late, had to leave early. I even skipped our holiday luncheon so I could work during that time. Right before I left work we had a meeting where my boss essentially told me that the deadline for one report was moved up from 90 days to 60 days. So I'll be going through year-end crunch June and July - July while simultaneously working on this other report and then finish the other report in August. Which gets us right into our 1st quarter reporting. Translation - the nice destressing vacation that I always take after year-end will be impossible. THEN this bad news meeting ran late so I was running late to take my loved ones to the airport. Oh and while the rest of the department was at lunch, I get an email from the CFO stating that he was expecting something I thought he needed at the end of Wednesday, first thing Wednesday. Translation: I had to come back to work after the airport.

With both bits of news in hand, I left for the airport. Angry and stressed. I had not really talked to MM all day so I called on my way to the airport:

Me - hey babe, I just found out I have to work late and I might not get home until after 10. I'm not sure if you want to come over.

MM - why would you say that to me? Why wouldn't I want to come over.

Me - well I have another early morning meeting and I'll probably go to bed right after I get home. I have to get my run in tonight so I'll be going to the gym after work too.

MM - If you don't want to see me, that's fine.

Me (getting even more frustrated) - I'm not saying I don't want to see you. I'm just letting you know that it's going to be very late and you might only get 1 hour of awake time, if that much. I just wanted you to know before you drive all the way over.

MM (very flippant) - well if that's what you want.

At this point I'm frustrated so I just let him off the phone. I get to TaeBo's house and sitting in rush hour traffic, she's not ready. We barely make it through the airport in time and then I have to sit in rush hour traffic to get back to work. I finish at 8:45 - call MM to let him know I'm headed to the gym, no answer - leave a message; leave the gym around 10:15 and go home. Foolish me, I half expected him to be at the house when I get there because he never called back. Nope - I walk in the empty house and break down in tears. The stress of the day and that phone call finally got to me.

I got up this morning with a cold and rushed to work. I call him to let him know I got in, no answer - leave a message. Now we talk EVERY morning. So at this point I'm thinking I have too much to do to deal with this. About an hour later I start to think something may have happened to him so I call his other phone - he answers... The rest of the day our convos were very short: did I leave my sunglasses in the car? he tells me what we're bringing to his family's dinner tomorrow night, etc.

When I left work I didn't even bother checking in - I ran some errands, got home and took my cold medicine.

He calls - says he didn't like the way I said what I said. I explained that I was really stressed and I apologized. Good, right? No. He wants to continue to tell me what he heard - even admitted that those weren't the words I said, but he heard that I was too busy to see him. I went back over our previous conversations about my work schedule and apologized again, told him I was sleepy. He KEPT on with it. Finally I had to stop him because I was getting angry and starting to cry and I told him - I am sorry, sorry, sorry. Sorry I didn't say what I had to say in a better tone. But I have had a stressful week, I'm tired and I really just want to go to bed. I explained that I was not trying to be rude - but I had to get off the phone because I was getting really upset and I didn't want to say anything more.

I'm sorry - but when dealing with the stresses at work, I don't need it at home too. And when I try to explain myself AND sincerely apologize, I don't need you continuing to try to prove your point. I've been saying I need to find another job, and I'm seriously thinking that perhaps we need to put off this marriage until I can get some balance in my life. Because honestly, if I go through another two days like these - it won't be pretty. Shoot, I almost dropped an f-bomb!

Whew! Glad I got that off my chest. Since I started writing this, MM has called and said he wants to come over. I told him he could but I plan to be sleep when he gets here.

I love this man, I really do - but this can't work. I know he's a good man, but I'm a damn good woman. I'm know I'm fortunate to have him, but he is just as fortunate to have me. So if your comment is to chastise me for feeling this way or to say I'm overreacting, this is NOT the time to do it. Trust me, if I'm overreacting it will come to light soon enough. In the interim - Imma need MM to think about that 'right or relationship' thing because one way to get me to take flight is to kick me when I'm down.

That is all...

Big Ego

2009-12-15T13:15:00.000-05:00

All my life I've heard that a man's ego is very fragile. Stroke their ego and you got them. I've also met many men that refuse to seek advice about certain things. They feel that they don't have to ask any man about what's going on in their lives. Then there are the guys that don't go to church because they don't think a preacher can tell them anything - they have their own relationship with God. I've always thought this was a problem. How can I submit to a man that feels he doesn't have to submit to anyone?

I remember dating guys and having the general conversation about marriage. When I would mention pre-marital counseling, most would say they don't believe in it - no one could tell them anything they don't already know. And don't let me bring up going to counseling while married to solve some problems...I heard a lot of "I'm not going to let another man tell me how to run my home, and if the counselor is a woman you know she's going to take the woman's side." Responses like that are what kept me S4L (single for life) until now.

One of the first things I admired about Mr. Me was the fact that he went to counseling. It was after he and his ex-wife had divorced but he felt he needed it. So he went to this group counseling at a nearby church and learned a lot about himself. He was the only man in the group and had no shame about it. He's very introspective and I love that about him. When he gets upset he searches within first to see if it's justified before bringing the issue to me. So I've learned to give him time when he's pouting - time for him to figure out his feelings.

I'm not going to post the details of what's going on with Mr. Me's son, but I'll just say that I saw it coming. One thing I'm learning in this relationship the power of silence - in other words, how to swallow the words "I told you so." So one night we were discussing some things about his son. I got a little heated and spoke a little harsh. I meant every word I said, but I could have said it nicer.

The next day, that conversation bothered me. I knew I needed to apologize for being harsh, but I was also concerned that we felt so different about raising kids. Although his kids are almost grown, it still matters and I couldn't just remove myself from all his decisions concerning them. During the day we had a few short conversations. During our 'ride home' talk, he mentioned that the conversation from the night before bothered him all day. Of course I was like "Me Too!!!" Before I could say another word he said "You're right." As I exhaled and my heart filled with more love for him, he explained his position as a parent and how he just wanted the best for his son. How even when his son isn't at his best, he can sometimes fabricate it - if you know what I mean. I apologized for being harsh - he blew it off, said he needed to hear it that way for him to really 'hear' it.

This is common for us. There are times when we have a small disagreement and I'm pouting - thinking I'm going to be short with him for a while. Then he'll call and apologize. And it's not an empty apology. He's taught me how to apologize immediately too.

Mr. Me has no problem going to men he respects for advice. Men that have been in long relationships. I'm not sure if he did this during his marriage - perhaps this is something he learned as a result of his counseling. I can tell you this - I LOVE IT!!! And he knows that I'll sometimes need to go to a trusted friend for advice - he expects it. We've agreed that we won't have others in our marriage because we always go to one another first. But when we've reached a crossroads, his ego is not too big that he won't seek counsel.

He's said that he wants to have couples get-togethers. A chance for us to spend time with seasoned couples and learn from them. It can be my UncleDad and Aunt, his Mom and StepDad, my friend Chef and her hubby or his closest friend and his wife (I like them) - but he definitely wants us to constantly work at our relationship.

I love that my fiance's ego isn't too big - it's the perfect size for me.

The Weekend

2009-12-07T15:36:00.005-05:00

Every year, Ms. Mack attends a conference for work - this past weekend was that time so Lil Mack came to stay with me. Before I moved to Houston, it became a tradition that we would put up the Christmas tree the weekend Lil Mack came to stay with me. So that was the plan.

Saturday evening - after I made chili for Sunday tailgating, I put on my Christmas music and commenced to putting up the tree. Mr. Me and Lil Mack brought the decorations up from the garage. Mr. Me was upstairs on the computer and Lil Mack was downstairs on the Wii - initially I was cursing both of them out in my brain. Then out of nowhere - Lil Mack comes upstairs to help. That brought joy to my heart. I didn't have to ask or fuss - he heard the music and me hammering the base together (one piece never wants to go in smooth) and came upstairs. We had a ball doing it too. It warms my heart that, at age 13 (14 tomorrow) he still finds joy in putting up a Christmas tree with his Auntie. The tree had been in the box since Christmas 2005 but I think it still looks good:

I have a Falcons tree with bells. I have the annual Falcons ornaments since 2005 and some bells. The top of my tree isn't sturdy enough to support an angel or a star, so I have my Falcons Santa hat. The rest of the ornaments are all red and gold - with the exception of one teddy bear that has on a blue vest (I love teddy bears!). I also have a bunch of the annual Wal-Mart Christmas teddy bears chilling throughout the front room. Next year - I may have to retire my fake tree and go out with Mr. Me to chop down a real one.

When I asked Mr. Me why he didn't come help he said he was respecting my tradition with Lil Mack. I appreciate that. Lil Mack is a little jealous of Mr. Me - he's pretty much been the #1 man in my life since he was born. That is why, on Sunday, Mr. Me and Lil Mack hung out while I was at the game. I wanted them to bond because they will be spending a lot of time together in the future. Mr. Me also took Lil Mack to the driving range Saturday morning while I was at the salon. The Teen was supposed to go too, but he had Saturday school.

My weekend didn't end as well as I would have liked - with my Falcons suffering such a horrible beat down. But overall I had a great time with the two most important males in my life.

Rested and Ready

2009-12-01T12:15:00.003-05:00

I took yesterday off from work - I decided this on Sunday and that was a much needed lazy day. Now, I'm rested, rejuvenated and ready to end 2009 strong.

The Holiday

Wednesday afternoon I received a post on my FB page that my freshman year roommate was in town. She wanted us to meet up Wednesday night but since Mr. Me and I already had plans to have dinner at ToolTime's house - I didn't see her until Thursday morning. At first I thought to change plans and meet up with her on Wednesday but Mr. Me preferred to go to ToolTime's. I started to protest because I had not seen my roommate in 20 years - but then I remembered that we do what I want to do 90% of the time and this was one of the few times Mr. Me expressed a preference. It was great seeing her - but I'm glad we stuck with our original plan.

Mr. Me and I were at ToolTime's house when her parents arrived in town Wednesday evening. We hung around and talked for a while. Mr. Me never meets a stranger so there wasn't an awkward moment...for him. I'm not sure if the Aviator was nervous about meeting ToolTime's parents but he seemed to endure pretty well.

Thursday morning we got up and went to the gym. My knee held up well - so no major damage there. I actually did some work Thursday while sitting under the dryer and then we headed to ToolTime's for dinner. After dinner, Mr. Me got schooled in Dominoes by ToolTime's Dad while her Mom and I took a nap. At one point EJJ (TaeBo's toddler) stood by my head yelling TAZZEE!!! over and over again. At first I thought I was dreaming - then I tried to ignore him because SURELY someone would say something to him. As soon as I lifted my head to respond to him, he points to the dog and says "the dog woke you up"...I told ToolTime that she has developed toddler ears after spending so much time with him because she doesn't even notice the yelling.

So after the place was cleaned - we sat down to play Candyland. I lost the first game but then I won the next two. I'm not a very good winner because I commenced to dancing around the room proclaiming that I was the 'Queen of Candyland' - EJJ did not like that at all. Next up: Chutes and Ladders. EJJ won the first game but guess who won the second game: ME! This time my sore winner antics really ticked off EJJ - he proceeded to slam the game shut. I'm sorry but stuff like that tickles me. Especially since I didn't want to play but ToolTime forced me. I guess I get that from my mother - she used to tease me when she'd beat me in games, I think that built my character because I'm not a sore loser, I take it in stride. I'm usually not as much of a sore winner - I just do it to kids. Does that make me a mean person?

Anyway - after I laid the smack down in Candyland and Chutes and Ladders, we went to the Hawks game. The Hawks lost...

Friday I had to go to work - but I only stayed 2 hours. Initially I was going to work a half-day, but once I reviewed the information I came in for, I left. Ms. Mack (baby sister) and Lil Mack (nephew) came over and we headed up to NC to spend sometime with family. When we got to my UncleDad's house there was a full Thanksgiving spread. When he said they were going to cook, I thought they were going to fry some fish or something. So we had Thanksgiving twice. As suspected - Mr. Me won them over. It was his first time meeting my Uncle from Cleveland and cousin from Cali. The elders were sitting at the dining room table. There was one seat left and we thought my Aunt was going to take it. Mr. Me had his plate at the bar, prepped to watch the basketball game...until he went into the dining room to get some beverage. My UncleDad proclaimed that the last seat - at the other end of the table was for him. As Ms. Mack, my Aunt and I giggled, Mr. Me proceeded to grab his plate from the bar and take his seat opposite of my Uncle (who sat at the head). While we watched the game and talked about female stuff, we would periodically hear bursts of laughter from the dining room. I told Ms. Mack that Mr. Me could talk with the best of them but she didn't believe me. True to form, he hung strong with my two Uncles, their cousin, another man their age (family friend) and my cousin.

THEY LOVE HIM!!! So much so, that when I walked in the room with my pants leg rolled up to let my skinned knee get some air - my Uncle from Cleveland asked if Mr. Me did that to me. I said yes - he pushed me down the stairs. UncleDad didn't blink an eye and waved his hand at me proclaiming "he would never do that" - I felt betrayed....LOL.

After dinner and fellowship, we headed South to Charlotte. I dropped Ms. Mack and Lil Mack off at my big sister's house. We chatted for a while. While my two nephews were playing a video game and the ladies (My two sisters, my niece and me) were chatting at the kitchen table - Mr. Me was chatting up my brother in law. My brother in law that is not very sociable was chatting it up with Mr. Me. Like I said - that man never meets a stranger.

We headed back to Atlanta Saturday and Mr. Me drove all the way - that was a first. I love to drive and he does a lot of driving for work, so we normally split the driving. Well I was ti-red and slept most of the way. Not once did he try to hand the wheel off to me. That touched my heart.

Oh and before we left my UncleDad's house Friday evening - apparently he pulled Mr. Me to the side with a bit of advice. He told him to spoil me to the point that no other man would want me - that's how he's kept my Aunt for over 40 years. I think Mr. Me took that bit of advice to heart.

Saturday evening was gamenight at ToolTime's house and Sunday was football. After I checked my email Sunday to find that we'd met the deadline for our project, I decided to take Monday off. I didn't even turn on my work laptop Monday. Mr. Me stayed the night Sunday and got up early to go make sure the Teen got off to school on time. His initial suggestion was that the both of us would get up early and go - but I shot that down. I wanted to sleep until I couldn't sleep anymore. Plus, when he stays the night and I have to go to work - I usually leave him sleeping in the bed. His work day doesn't start until 10am and I STAY jealous at him peacefully resting while I head to work. So Monday, I wanted to see how that felt. And it felt GOOD!

Yesterday we lazed around when he got back. He cooked breakfast and we watched some episodes of Monk I taped. Then we put in the first season of The Boondocks and laughed (while in and out of sleep).

It was a perfect day....until we got a dreaded phone call. I won't discuss the details until the situation is worked out, but it was a reality check for my fantasy relationship and what I'm getting into being a step-mom. My prayers for my future marriage just got even more specific.

Overall - I had a great holiday. Much needed time after such a hectic November. Now I'm ready to end the year strong.

Update - VERY Random

2009-11-25T16:21:00.003-05:00

I'm still very much in love - did you think otherwise? This is the longest I've been with someone and didn't at one time think of walking away from the relationship. I like to share these little milestones/firsts with Mr. Me - he likes them too.

If you follow me on twitter - you'll know about this, but Mr. Me has a friend that teased him about our relationship. I knew the guy gave him a hard time due to some comments on FB, but I didn't know the magnitude. The guy got on him about joining church, rooting for the Falcons and spending so much time with me. Well this guy recently fell in love and Mr. Me was giving him a hard time. When I told Mr. Me that he should leave the guy alone, I learned the magnitude of his teasing. This guy used to call him whipped, ragged on him for waiting to get some and a host of other things. Mr. Me stood strong and bragged about our relationship - so one day this guy realized that he wanted what Mr. Me and I have. Mr. Me told him how he got me... Reiterated how he prayed for a woman like me and then he met me. I absolutely love how my man brags about our relationship.

So I've been working quite a bit lately. The Friday before I was heading to Charlotte (to see my Falcons lose to the Panthers - SHMB*) my throat started to hurt when I swallow - just like the strep. Well, what I thought was strep - the lab test never came back and the nurse thought it might be a viral infection. Well this time, it was a viral infection - when asked what causes it, the first thing she said was stress. I REALLY need to change some thangs because I CANNOT run around getting sick because of work.

Mr. Me met my football buddies when we went to Charlotte - he also met Serenity. She came to hang out with us for a while. I love how he gets along with everybody - I mean everybody! He's even taken to the guy that ToolTime is dating - his name will be Aviator. I'm finally giving Aviator a name because it looks like he'll be around for a while. So now Mr. Me is friends with my closest friends on FB and Aviator is his new BFF, LOL. He has totally infiltrated my life. Tonight he's going to meet ToolTime's parents...

I went to San Diego for work last week. I just knew I was going get a little rest from work. Nope - I was in the conference from 8-5. Prior to going to the conference I was emailing and conferencing with the folks on the East Coast - at night after the conference I was emailing with the folks in Hong Kong. Work is going to slow down a little during the first week in December (I hope) but then we get into our quarter close and it will get busy again.

So today I decide I'm going to buy myself something because I'd been working so hard. As I'm on my way into one store, I mis-gauged the curb and fell. I can't even say 'slipped and fell' because I hit the concrete hard. I tore a hole in my jeans, skinned my knee and I even let out a loud grunt on my way down. Of course a lot of folks saw me - one lady started to run towards me to help and I heard this other guy yell "Are you alright?" as he came toward me. I quickly yelled "I'm OK!" jumped up and ran in the store. It wasn't until I got in the store that I realized I had a hole in my jeans. Then when I went to try on some pants, I realized I'd skinned my knee - like a 12 year old. I'm one of the clumsiest folks I know, so I'm not surprised. I just hope it doesn't scar. ToolTime and I had a good laugh.

I normally reward myself when I lose weight, but because of my crazy work schedule my workout plan has been sporadic and my eating even worse. You might recall my pity party post on December 31 because I'd gained so much weight. Well, I've gained even more. Every day I say it's the day I'm going to get this thing together and then stuff happens. I was on a role this week with my eating and working out - Mr. Me and I have been doing this thing together. Then I turn around and mess up my knee... I hope to be able to have full movement tomorrow because tomorrow is my run day. I'm doing the Couch 2 5k program and I'm determined to run a 5k early next year.

I had an interesting exchange with The Teen recently - but I'll share that later.

Well, I think that's all for now. I'm sure I'll have some interesting tidbits to share about my holiday. Hopefully I won't wait forever to post about it.

Busy Tazzee

2009-11-09T11:00:00.002-05:00

It's been over a week since my last post. I've been a pretty busy lady. What have you been up to Tazzee? Well I'm glad you asked...

On Halloween we went to see Ledisi, Mint Condition and Eric Benet in concert. ToolTime, her new guy (who shall be nameless for now), Mr. Me and I had seats 5th row center of the orchestra pit. Prior to the concert we met up with SexyCool and her beau for dinner at The Harlem Bar. Dinner and the concert were great. We had a really nice time. The next morning, ToolTime and I hopped a plane for New Orleans to see the Falcons/Saints game. My visit to New Orleans was nice as always, but my Falcons lost... We got up bright and early Tuesday morning to fly back to ATL. I carried my sleepy tail to work while ToolTime took the day off. I should have taken the day off too.

My work week was SUPER busy. Each night I worked until 8pm or later. Friday I worked until 9 and that is unheard of - but I had to work late to avoid working over the weekend. I left Friday with plans to do some work over the weekend but once I got home that laptop never left the computer bag. I only see Mr. Me on the weekends and I'm not about to cut into our time with work - especially when I was here late every night.

Friday night, Mr. Me and I had a HUGE argument. Most would think it was small, but since we never argue it was huge to us. I mean we've had disagreements but this was a straight up argument with me saying curse words and him leaving to go for a walk. To calm myself down I took a bubble bath and put on some gospel music and cried. At no time did I think it was over between us or anything like that but I needed to get all that emotion out of me. By the time I got out of the tub, he was back. We talked, I cried some more and we fell asleep. The next morning I was still reeling from the effects of the night before (headache, puffy eyes) but all was well.

If I were to try to break it down, I would say that our relationship is 95% good and 5% not as good. That is why I make my 'why I love him' posts - so that during that 5% I can reflect. Well, Friday I didn't even think to come read my blog. I was on Twitter venting a bit and just like clockwork, Serenity reminded me of my 'Queen' post. I expect nothing less from that lady, LOL.

Saturday night I was invited to a birthday party for my stylist. There was a bit of a misunderstanding because I walked in with Mr. Me only to find that it was a Girls' Night Out type of function. After the night we had Friday, the last thing I wanted to do was be separated from my love, but I couldn't just leave and he didn't feel comfortable staying. So we were apart for about 2 hours. I had a good time being the karaoke host for the party but I was missing him the entire time. All the ladies at the party were married, had been married for a while and had kids. So I guess I could understand the need for a Girls Night Out. Maybe I'll be more into those functions when I get married - but until then, if you invite me on the weekend you're inviting Mr. Me. After the party Mr. Me came and got me and we met up with ToolTime and her guy for drinks. They went to the basketball game. Which, if I'd known the party was XX-chromosome only, Mr. Me and nameless could have gone to the game while ToolTime and I hung out with the ladies.... maybe.

Sunday was football. My Falcons won and the weather was perfect for tailgating. As a matter of fact, the weather was perfect the entire weekend. I am so glad I got a chance to enjoy it - so glad I didn't go into the office.

Next up - a trip to Charlotte, NC to see my Falcons play the Carolina Panthers. Mr. Me is going with us this time

Parenting

2009-10-28T09:39:00.004-04:00

Y'all - I am not sure if I'm ready for all this!!! Mr. Me keeps telling me that I will make a great Stepmother (although he hates the 'step' part - I'll keep it in there for now) and perhaps I should just believe him and stop worrying about it. I mean, his kids are almost grown...

One of the first things I told The Teen (that shall be his name for now on) was that education is VERY important to me. This was during the breakfast we had after Mr. Me and I got engaged. I explained to him that I expect him to do his best in school. The first time we ever met I stressed how 9th grade was very important - that's when his grades really start to count and he needed to get serious about school. He almost got left back in 8th grade due to his lackadaisical attitude toward school. Not turning in homework, being late to class...things like that. Mr. Me was ready to keep him back but the school decided it would be best for him to go on to 9th grade. I think they were just tired of dealing with him.

When The Teen found out he might get held back he was devastated!!! Or he acted like he was - he even posted a semi-suicidal note on FB - something like "I wish my life was over." Mr. Me's friends were calling him - folks were in an uproar. Shortly after, his Mom made him shut down his page.

Thing is The Teen is VERY intelligent. I can tell by the conversations we have. He's also very manipulative and thinks he knows everything. I think I posted about the first time I tried to help him with his homework - I truly wanted to shake (and shank) him. He was just straight up lazy with it. I kept having to send him back a few times to re-do his study cards. Then one time he emailed a project to me for me to proofread. I sent it back with some questions/suggestions and this little knee-grow questioned everything!!! We went back and forth a couple of times until I finally told him to go with his idea and let me know what the teacher says - since he knows everything.

The problem is, there's nothing you can take away from him to make him do right. Mr. Me has tried everything; television, internet, cell phone (he still doesn't have one), in-house restriction, punching him in the chest...you name it. The Teen even told me that he only does enough to pass - which he isn't doing that because if he were, he wouldn't have had to go to summer school and almost repeat the 8th grade.

So now he's in the 9th grade and he got two Fs on his first progress report. He was immediately placed on restriction. He was disappointed when he couldn't go to a football game, but for the most part he wasn't fazed. I partly fault Mr. Me because he doesn't stay on him about his homework. He asks The Teen if he's done the homework, he'll even look at it. But he doesn't do a thorough review of it. I know this will be my task when we get married and I'm ready for it. I'm just not ready to hold back the shake/shanking and curse words that will form in my head.

This past Friday night I was over and The Teen brought in his grades. He tried to put them underneath some other papers in Mr. Me's room - but he really wasn't trying to sneak because he did it right next to me. Mr. Me says that The Teen loves the attention he gets from me and I'm beginning to believe it. I pulled out the paper and The Teen is still failing two classes!!! His lowest score was a 67 in math - a class that he also had 13 unexcused absences - WTH?!?!!? What frustrates me is that Mr. Me has requested weekly progress reports from the school and they won't send them. But the kicker was when The Teen had the nerve to say he was proud of his 67 because he brought it up from a 50. I.WANTED.TO.CHOKE.HIM!!! I said "You're proud of an F?!?!?" The next statement in my mind was "Now that's some ole bull#$%&!!!" but I didn't say it. I told him that he had to do better.

A couple of times on Sunday, The Teen alluded to me buying him something. First he said he's expecting great things for Christmas. I told him that bad grades don't equal great things for Christmas. Later he mentioned a face painting kit for Halloween. I asked if the school was having a party and where was the letter. He replied that his cousin was doing it - I asked was his cousin getting Fs? To which he replied that his cousin was getting As and Bs. There you have it.

After another comment from him about getting something, I sent The Teen a long email. I explained that the only job he had was to obey his parents and do well in school. The parent's responsibility is food, clothing and shelter. When he doesn't do his job, he doesn't get anything extra and even the food, clothing and shelter is minimal. I explained that I do NOT reward bad grades. If he had a NEED, I would do my best to meet it but the wants are denied as long as he continues to fail at his job. When Mr. Me asked if he got the email - he had this big grin on his face and said yes. Mr. Me stressed again that The Teen loves the attention from me. Personally, I don't think this is cute. We went back and forth a few times in email and I thought he got it.

Then yesterday he sent me an email: "Can you take me to Party City Thursday? I need to pick up some things." I replied: "You're joking right? Are you still failing 2 classes? If so, then no." He replied: "Ok, Thanks anyway"

WTH?!?!!?

I think I need to start saving bail money because I'm sure I'll have to shank him before it's all over.

Continue praying for me folks...

Queen

2009-10-20T14:26:00.003-04:00

That's what I am. Mr. Me treats me like a queen and I love it!!! I never was the type to be pampered, but now that I've gotten a taste - there's no going back. I used to hear women say that they needed a man to treat them like a queen. Shoot, I even fell into that stream of thought - but I never really knew what that meant. I just said it because it seemed like something good to say. Now I know.

I think I've mentioned that Mr. Me ALWAYS gets the door for me. There are times when we're in a rush and I'll just go to the car door trying to get in the car. He's right behind me grabbing the door before I can. I think he's gotten used to my 'rushing' because lately he waits until he's at the door before he unlocks it. And every time - unless our stance is awkward - I give him a kiss on the lips and tell him thank you. Wait, that kiss might be more for me than for him ;-)

If we're walking and I have to stop and tie my shoes, he'll get on the ground and tie them for me. Now, Mr. Me is a foot taller than me so it takes a lot for him to get down there, but he does it every time. I love that!!!

Last weekend I bought a Swiff.er mop and was excited about using it. Mr. Me was in the kitchen cooking breakfast and I was planning to mop when he finished - well I get downstairs and he'd already mopped. I was a little disappointed and when I asked he just replied - 'it needed to be done, so I just did it while I waited for the water to boil.'

I shared with some folks on the MIA blog that he washed my clothes. Now this is one thing I repeatedly told him that I didn't want him to do. I just like my clothes washed a certain way. Well he stayed the night during the week one day. I left to go to work before him and when I talked to him later he said 'don't get upset...but I washed some clothes' He told me he just washed some t-shirts so I was fine with it. I thought he just grabbed some of my workout clothes. When I got home I pulled some of my delicates out the dryer and was a little upset - but he was so apologetic that I couldn't be mad. He wouldn't let me get away with the declaration that he is no longer to wash clothes...I'm thinking that will just be my job. No, he said that he will just learn how I like my clothes to be washed from now on. I have determined that I will just keep my delicates in a separate, hidden, hamper - just in case. While I was upset that my dress was placed in the washer and dryer - I couldn't help but appreciate him wanting to do yet another thing for me.

He never lets me carry anything. After the movie Friday night, I stopped to grab my trash so I could dispose of it on the way out the door - he quickly grabbed it from me. If we're walking out the house and I have something in my hands, he grabs it from me. During the summer, when he could stay over during the week, he ALWAYS took out my trash. Now I hate taking out the trash, LOL.

Let me make it clear, that none of these acts are done in a forceful, overbearing way. The independent, control freak that I am would not allow it. But he does it in a way that says I'm much too precious to do those things.

Most recently Mr. Me went tailgating with us. We've pretty much had an all-female tailgate for the past 7 years. We load up the truck, unpack, set up the grill, cook, etc. Well my boo pretty much took over this past Sunday. He manned the grill the entire time. ToolTime (control freak x 10) is our normal grillmaster but she sat back, relaxed and said she was going to let a man be a man.

There are many more ways that my fiance' spoils me but I just felt like listing a few. I always express my appreciation for these acts - I don't take him for granted in anyway. The thing is, I don't see this fading when we get married because I truly believe this is how he is. I see him displaying acts of chivalry with other women and I love it.

Yup, I'm a queen and I love being treated like royalty.

No Weddingmoon

2009-10-15T13:26:00.002-04:00

Nope - we won't be saying our vows on the island. Apparently we have to 'establish residency' in Antigua before we can get married, therefore we have to be there 48 hours before getting married. Not gonna work. I can't imagine flying to that beautiful island and then waiting 2 (well it would have been three) days before we got married. I want to enjoy the entire stay with my HUSBAND. Mr. Me agrees, so we are back to saying our vows here before heading to our honeymoon.

This just reminded me - I need to get on the pastor's schedule to be married...DONE!

So Mr. Me and I were talking about saying our vows in the pastor's office. We were planning to invite the same friends that were going to come to Antigua with us - then that idea morphed into saying vows in my living room, then going out to dinner. So I called ToolTime to let her know that she doesn't need to book a trip to Antigua, she can go on the TJMS cruise with Thumbelina. Before we got off the phone, the quick saying of the vows in my living became a quaint little outdoor ceremony at her house... Ahh that ToolTime, if you tell her something you must be prepared for a better idea coming shortly after.

I told her if she can make it happen, I'm OK with that. I've completed my assignment - I got on the pastor's schedule. After the 'ceremony', we'll go grab a bite to eat - then Mr. Me and I will be staying the night in some honeymoon suite here in the city before hopping on the plane to Antigua the next morning.

That's the plan...as of today, LOL. As you've read over the past month or so, I might change my mind. What won't change is our honeymoon. That deposit has been paid.

Next up - my meeting with my financial planner and then the two of us meeting with the financial planner. Now THAT will be interesting.

A Good Weekend

2009-10-12T10:29:00.003-04:00

This past Friday was ToolTime's birthday. My birthday present to her was the Maxwell concert on Monday night. I was also fortunate enough to get someone to buy my ticket so I could stay home and watch MNF - so that worked out perfectly.

Friday night we had dinner and the plan was to hit up a couple of spots. The goal was to go dancing. Unfortunately the Hip Hop awards crowd destroyed those plans, every place we tried to go had a line around the building - before 10! Normally we can hit a spot before 10, get in fast and free, and then leave before the youngins are ready to party. Not the case this past weekend. We even attempted to go bowling but the line was out the door there too. So we ended the night listening to some live music. I got home around 2am. Mr. Me and I were supposed to go to new members' class Saturday at 9am, that didn't happen.

Saturday was fairly relaxing - I don't think we got out of bed until around noon. The problem is, I was up by 7am - I can't sleep late. So I chatted on the phone for a little while, surfed the net and washed some clothes while waiting for Mr. Me to wake up. Then he and I lounged in the bed for a while. By the time we got up, I was starving but we had to hit the gym first. So we worked out and then grabbed some lunch. After we showered and I washed my hair we hit the streets to run some errands before getting ready for ToolTime's party. All I'm going to say about that party is - we didn't leave her house until 2:30 and although I only had 3 drinks - something didn't mix right because I was left with a horrible headache.

We didn't make it to church Sunday.... I did check out service on the internet and there was a visiting preacher that I couldn't get with. Mr. Me told ToolTime that I was on punishment - I couldn't come out and play with her anymore, LOL. So Sunday was another lazy day - I actually didn't leave the house. Mr. Me went and got breakfast for us - after breakfast we took a 'nap' and then when it was time for my Falcons to play, he went to get dinner for us. It was one time I was glad he's not a Falcons fan because he didn't care about missing part of the game.

After football we started the second lesson in our premarital workbook. I really love going through this workbook with him. This session focused on our differences and similarities. There was a section that gave us interview questions to discuss with one another. When I first glanced through the questions I thought they would be pretty easy - that we already knew all this stuff about one another. Well there were some interesting revelations during our interview. Nothing earth shattering or negative - just stuff I did not know about my fiance'. Unfortunately, I fell asleep during the interview questions (it was approaching 10pm and there were A LOT of questions) so we didn't finish this section. I guess we'll have to double up this weekend.

All in all it was a great weekend. I can't wait until we get to the point where we don't have to say goodbye after the weekend. Mr. Me keeps saying we should just run to the justice of the peace 'tomorrow' but I always say no. One of these days I might just take him up on that offer - but not before we finish our workbook, I love the new revelations.

OOOH! I just got a call that I'm going to see my boo after work. He stayed the night last night because the kids are out of school - apparently he left the keys to his work truck in my car. Monday is his paperwork day so he doesn't need the truck - so he's going to drive my other car to go hang out with the kids today and will be back at my house when I get home. Lemme get off this blog so I can get to working - I gotta leave on time today!!!

In Sickness and In Health

2009-10-08T09:33:00.003-04:00

So I mentioned in an earlier post that my brief battle with strep almost had me single and available again.

If you will recall, back in August I got sick with some sort of stomach flu. That Friday I stayed home from work in bed. Mr. Me was running around getting ready to take his son to college on Saturday. We talked a few times throughout the day and he mentioned coming to check on me. He never made it - perhaps it was my fault because I didn't want to be a burden on such a busy day for him, so I played it down. Well he had no problem being a burden to me because when his son got into a car accident he asked me to come to the scene and call AAA. I was livid but I didn't express that to him (perhaps I should have). If you don't recall this event please check it out here.

So for the second time in our relationship, I get sick. This time it was much worse. That Thursday, whenever we would talk during the day I told Mr. Me that my throat hurt when I swallowed but not when I talked. He mentioned coming to take care of me and I told him that would be nice. Well this time, he's trying to get his house together for family coming in town for our party. As the day progressed my throat started to hurt even more. I called him one time and he said he was on the phone with his son, he'd call me back. No call - and that is uncommon. It was even worse when I was miserable and wanted to hear his soothing voice. Later that day, I call again - it's around 8pm and I'm getting ready to leave work (been there since 7am). Now he's outside chatting with his friend - so I tell him I'll call him when I get home. He asks how I'm feeling, I tell him my throat is killing me.

I get home and call. Now he's talking with a cousin and his wife. His cousin was helping him put a toilet back in (he'd replaced the tile in his bathroom) and they were all chatting during this task. By now I'm a little upset that he doesn't have time to talk to me so I say "Well, I'm home now and I'm going straight to bed because my throat hurts." Dude is like "OK" - I'm seeing red now but I'm too tired and miserable to say anything. I hang up without saying bye - perhaps he'll catch the hint? NO!

Around 11:30 I wake up in tears - it hurts so much to swallow that I cry every time I have to swallow. Well, you know crying makes me swallow even more so it's a nasty vicious cycle. I call Mr. Me and go off! Crying I say "I'm mad at you!!! I'm sick and I didn't even ask you to come over - all I wanted to do was talk but you didn't have time for me!!! You had time to talk to your son, your friend and your cousin but no time for meeeee!!!" By now I'm sobbing. He's trying to calm me down, talking about he's coming over. Of course I'm like "NO!!! Don't come over now!!!" In the end, he came over - he had to stop and get me some ice cream and Suda.fed though. I thought I was suffering from a sinus infection and the medicine I had at the house had expired.

So he stays the night because he wanted to take me to the clinic in the morning. I don't think either of us slept very well because every time I swallowed I would punch the bed or kick my feet because of the pain. We get to the care clinic to discover that I had a fever and probably strep throat. The quick test at the clinic came back negative and so did the flu test, but I had all the strep symptoms. She also informed me that I had a bunch of pus on the back of my throat (that was the GROSSEST thing when I looked at it) - I was prescribed steroids for the throat swelling and antibiotics. While we waited for my prescriptions to be filled, Mr. Me suggested we go to breakfast. I was fine with that - thinking I'd get some hot chocolate while he ate.

As we were leaving the parking lot, Mr. Me noticed a Michael's so he suggested we go in there. I am in no mood to walk around the store but I'm like cool (I should have said no...). While we're in Michael's, I was on FB and twitter while was looking at frames. Finally we got the gift prizes for our party and on the way out he says, "I brought you here to pick out some frames for our pictures but you're too busy on FB or Twitter." After I got seated in the car, I quietly told him "Sweetie I just don't feel well, I just wanted to sit down."

Well, when we get home he decides he wants to tell me about myself. He said something about how he's trying to care about certain things that he normally doesn't care about (picture frames) but I don't even appreciate it. All I want to do is get in the bed - so I say "Whatever" and walk away. Do you know this SUCKA started to leave.

And THIS is when I started to take my ring off and throw it at him. As I was running up the stairs I yelled "when you were sick you wanted to be pampered - I'm here with a 101 temperature, swollen throat and miserable and you want to lecture me about some picture frames!" Mind you I yelled this through tears. I ran and got in the bed and he comes and gets in the bed with me apologizing for being such an a-hole. I wasn't trying to hear it so I ended up crying myself to sleep while he held me.

I pretty much slept the rest of the day. Every time we talked he apologized, but that wasn't enough. All the while I'm thinking that our vows will talk about being faithful in sickness and in health and he gets a major FAIL in that department. His defense was that he didn't think I was THAT sick - my rebuttal is how many times have I even complained about a freaking ailment?

Wow - retyping this has me angry again. When we were going through our premarital workbook, this issue came up again. I said that I would do better at letting him know how I really felt - no more of that "naw, you don't have to come over" mess. He said he would do better at paying attention to my words even if my actions don't say I'm not feeling well. Apparently he expected me to be moaning and groaning when I talked and begging him to come over. I actually told him that one of the benefits of being with my life partner is that I shouldn't have to go through times like that alone - but each time I've been sick since we've been together - I've pretty much been alone (until I called him hysterical this last time).

So the jury's still out on this one. I told him 3 strikes and he's out - he said I can't divorce him before we get married. I'm not hoping I get sick again by any means - but I do need to see his bedside manner improve.

I still have the ring on my finger.

Childhood Tales

2009-10-05T13:27:00.002-04:00

It's no secret that I hate bugs. I mean I REALLY hate bugs. Those little things that can do me no harm - I hate them.

Friday I had another bug encounter. As I was washing my face, I noticed something furry in my periphery. In the other sink was a furry bug a little curled up. Now I didn't look very close to see what type of bug it was - I just knew that I had to get rid of it. My bug spray was all the way downstairs and that was not enough time. So I wanted to flush it down the sink - but I didn't want to turn on the faucet. That would require me to actually reach over the bug. So I grabbed a big cup and filled it with water. I stood back from the sink and 'threw' the water in - which caused the freaking bug to come out of the sink. Now y'all know I was screaming as I tried to determine where this bug went. I grabbed this stick and pushed the rug in front of the sink - no bug. Then I realized the bug fell into the bucket I had in front of the sink. It started trying to crawl out of the bucket so I immediately began pouring water in the bucket. Next thing I know, the thing is swimming in the bucket. By now I think it's a millipede, but I've never seen one that close so I'm not sure. So the millipede is swimming trying to get to the edge of the bucket and crawl out. I grab my Tilex and spray it into the bucket. So in the end, I cleaned the bug to death.

So you may ask - why not just leave the bug alone? This gets me to the title of this post - when I was little, my grandmother told me that millipedes crawl in your ear and eat your brain. I don't even know if that's true, but that's ALL I think of when I see one of those things. And that is why I can't have one hanging out at my house all willy nilly.

Recently on FB, my roommate from my freshman year sent me a picture of us. I went home with her for Easter and we were messaging back and forth about funny things that happened that weekend. She replied and said "LOL!!! Girl, I remember you losing your mind in the bathroom 'cause there was a "thousand leg"!" LOLOLOL! I guess I used to call millipedes 'thousand legs' I should have known better at age 18...

So this made me think of another tale my grandmother told me. When we were little, my grandmother told my big sister and I that the only people that slept with socks on were dead people. I don't know WHY she told us this but after that, we were afraid to sleep with socks on for fear we'd wake up dead. During the winter my grandmother would turn the heat down at night. There are pictures of my sister and I in the bed with our hats, scarves and gloves on (we were probably being dramatic about the cold) but our feet were bare! We didn't care how cold it was - we were not going to wake up dead! LOLOL.

I've since gotten over that and will sleep in socks if my feet get cold. But I still can't stand millipedes and if one gets in my house - I can't sleep until I kill it. It doesn't help that Mr. Me told me that one time a bug crawled in his ear when he was sleep - so I know they do it.

I vow to never tell any children any stories that will traumatize them for the rest of their lives.

Work and Strep - the Update

2009-10-02T12:42:00.003-04:00

Forgive me blogland for taking such a long hiatus. September was a VERY busy month for me and the week of September 21st was the busiest. I guess my body got tired of my 12+ hour days because I woke up Thursday morning with strep throat. I didn't know what I had until Friday morning though. Then there was the engagement party Sunday... enough with the ~~excuses~~ explanations

Engagement Photos When I last gave a detailed update, we were planning to take engagement photos the upcoming weekend. Let me just say we had a BALL! The plan was to get a picture that could be framed and signed by our engagement party guests. Well we walked out of there with 12 different poses and over $200 worth of pictures. So we'll be sending pictures to all the elders in the family - those that REALLY want us to have a wedding. I'm sure the photographer got a little uncomfortable at times because there were many times in the midst of posing, that I had to sneak a kiss.

Engagement Party All week I was on edge about this party. I simply do not have the temperament for stuff like this. After being stricken with the strep (which almost resulted in me breaking up with Mr. Me - but that's another post) my family came in town Saturday afternoon. I was feeling a little better by then and out of the contagious period. We both spent time with our families over the weekend, so we didn't have our normal 'couple time'. When I woke Sunday morning, I was REALLY on edge. I don't know why, but I was. After I showered I headed out to meet Barista to pick up my cupcakes. As I'm driving, I was still a little on edge and all of a sudden this wave of peace came over me. I started grooving to Whitney's new CD and started to actually get excited about the party. I later got a tweet from Serenity saying that she prayed for our union that morning. I really think that's what got me over my funk so thanks for your prayers.

After picking up the cupcakes (they were a hit!) I headed home to get ready. The party started at 3:30 but the plan was to get there at 12:30 so we could set up. I also wanted to make sure I saw the start of the Falcons game (priorities intact, LOL). Mr. Me was late - I didn't get upset, he told me where to get the key to the clubhouse. As soon as I walked in, I thought again that the space wasn't big enough but at this point I knew it would all work out. Then I went to turn on the television and no channels. Errr?!??! The TV in the clubhouse only had an antenna and we all know the digital conversion occurred this year. So after Mr. Me arrived, I hightailed it up to Rite Aid and purchased a digital conversion box (I need to take that thing back). Shortly after he hooked that up, the party preppers started arriving. Food, decorations, etc. I helped a little but for the most part I watched the game and enjoyed how everything was coming together.

While we they were setting up Thumbelina gave Mr. Me and I a list of questions to answer. We were going to play something like the newlywed game where I had to answer what I thought Mr. Me would say. As I answered the questions, I knew I only had about 50% right but I had to roll with it.

We had one of our pictures framed near the entrance to the clubhouse for people to sign as they walked in. Around 4pm (when it was evident that my Falcons were going to lose) we shut off the TV and music and my fiance' blessed the food. Then it was on! We had baked chicken, pot roast, collards, macaroni and cheese, fruit salad, seafood pasta salad, rice pilaf, rolls, cornbread, red velvet cupcakes, strawberry cream cheese cupcakes, brownies and a key lime cake. We also had sweet tea, lemonade and various wines for our guests. Everyone loved the spread. During the meal the family elders (My Aunt and Uncle, Mr. Me's parents and his Aunt) all sat together. They seemed to get along well.

After the meal it was time to play the game. Somehow my Uncle made his way to the front of the room - his cousins had arrived and the three of them (all men) were sitting right in front of Mr. Me and I as we answered the questions. Some of the more interesting questions:

(for him) Tazzee loves it when I: His first response was kiss me on the back of my neck (TRUE) but then he changed it to smile (also true). When Thumbelina told the first answer Mr. Me got embarassed because my Uncle was sitting right there.

(for him) What color is Tazzee's toothbrush - he got that wrong and my uncle yelled out 'He doesn't need to know what color it is' LOL.

(for me) What color would Mr. Me say looks best on me. I said red - he said blue. When he found out my answer, he blushed and said - the answers are supposed to be PG. Well, the word 'red' is VERY PG, but his response let the cat out of the bag.

(for him) If you gave Tazzee $10 what would she buy with it - before the answer could be revealed everyone in the room that knows me started to yell out "NOTHING" "SHE'D PUT IT IN THE BANK!" Dang - am I that predictable? LOL.

In the end, it was a tie - but he came close to beating me because I got questions like 'within $1 how much money is in Mr. Me's pocket right now'...What kind of mess is that? I think I was set up, LOL.

After that we had folks write relationship advice on notecards and we picked the top two to win prizes. Mr. Me then had his friend, then his nephew sing to me. We broke out the karaoke machine and I sang to him - and once the karaoke machine came out - it was a wrap. The kids that were shy in the beginning, didn't want to stop singing. So we were pretty much serenaded as we packed up.

All in all the party was a lot of fun and I'm glad we had it. People kept asking when was the wedding and my reply was always 'we will either say our vows here on May 14 or in Antigua on May 15 or 16.' We've got time to decide that but one thing I do know - I do NOT want to have a wedding. So the plan is to have a reception/40th birthday party for me Memorial Day Weekend. Well that was the plan until I found out that Mr. Me's daughter graduates on my 40th birthday. I'm still trying to digest that one - y'all know how I am about my birthdays... Oh well, the life of a future wife/stepmom.

Quick Vent

2009-09-24T15:22:00.003-04:00

Yeah, yeah, yeah - I know I'm due for a detailed post, but time isn't on my side right now. But I had to stop from my busy day for this quick vent.

I have a framed picture of Mr. Me and me on my desk here at work. Every time I look at it I just smile and it's helped me get through a hectic week at work. Well today, the auditor was in my office and asked if that was my fiance'. She then said, "He's looking kind of mean in that picture." I wanted to crack her skull but I simply replied that he's smiling with his eyes (he looks rather sexy in the picture to me). I then raved about how he has a beautiful smile. She didn't have nan negative thing to say after that. Heffa!

See this is the same woman that made the only negative comment about my ring - talking about "how do you feel about it being yellow gold considering white gold and platinum is so popular these days?"

Thing is, I don't even like her!

I'm a professional chick so I'll keep my comments to myself - but I tell you, three strikes and that heffa is out! I'm her client so I have no problem saying in my most nice/nasty voice - "From now on, if you don't have something nice to say about the love of my life, I would prefer you say nothing at all." While smiling my nice/nasty smile.

Vent Over. I'll try to post an update of our engagement photo session later this evening.

Stay Blessed folks, because I plan to!

OK Weekend

2009-09-15T13:12:00.003-04:00

If you've been reading me for more than a year - you know that I LOVE me some NFL and more importanly, I LOVE me some Atlanta Falcons! So, I know you're wondering - how was my weekend? Well since you asked, I'll let you know:

Thursday - yep, I'm starting with Thursday because it was Mr. Me's birthday. I was planning to take him out for dinner and give him his gifts. Well, he decided he just wanted to hang out at the house - so that's what we did. I got there before him (he worked late) and started quizzing the son on his vocabularly words. Let me just say I need an extra 1,000 doses of patience to deal with him and his school work. I wanted to shake him so bad!!! Anyway, Mr. Me loved his gifts - especially the bible.

Friday - after work I hit the gym and then Mr. Me and I were supposed to go out. Well he worked late, so the plan became he was just going to come over. Then his ex didn't pick up the son and wasn't answering the phone so I wound up going over there. Unfortunately I found it hard to tear myself from the TV, watching Jay-Z's concert so I didn't get over there until 11pm. Just enough time for me to climb in the bed because I had a hair appt at 8am.

Saturday - after the salon, we had family day. We picked up the girls and went to see "I Can Do Bad All By Myself" - I cried and laughed all through the movie. After the movie we went and had pizza then ice cream (my stomach was messed up!). It was my first real outing with the girls and we had a good time laughing. Next time we'll have to leave Mr. Me at home. The son was mad that he couldn't go. As of last night he's still mad at me - he'll get over it, LOL.

Sunday - when we got up for church I could tell something was wrong with Mr. Me - but he said he was fine so I let it go. All week, we discussed him coming back over after the game since we knew we wouldn't have much alone time on Saturday. After church I asked if he was coming over and he replied 'we'll see, I'll let you know.' I didn't want to press his mood, so I just headed to my football festivities. Tailgating was a ball - we tailgated with another group and they had MC Shy D perform. Now, I must admit - I didn't know who MC Shy D was, but it was a fun time. The game was great (we won) and afterwards we did some post-tailgating with another group. By the time we got back to ToolTime's house I was BEAT! Since Mr. Me wasn't coming over, I crashed on her couch for a little bit. I didn't leave her house until after 10pm - when my headache was gone.

Mr. Me and I talked on the phone a little bit Sunday night and all day Monday, I felt disconnected from him. I finally asked him about it this morning and at first he said it was nothing - so I told him that I would just look inward then because something was wrong.

By the time I got to work, he had sent me an email admitting he was bothered all day Sunday. He said some other wonderful things that reminded me why I love him so much. When we spoke later and he told me what had been bothering him, I told him that I suspected that was it. To make a long story short - his mom probably won't come to our engagement dinner. She's disappointed him pretty much most of his life. When he found out she wasn't coming, he tried to play it off like it didn't bother him - but I knew it did. I truly admire his heart toward his mother. Sometimes I wish I could be as forgiving with mine - I'm still working on that one.

Oh and thanks for your comments about my potential wedding. I'm going to wait to see how this engagement dinner goes before giving the wedding idea any more consideration. Because this dinner is already giving me heartburn.

We'll see how it goes.

SWITCH!!!

2009-09-10T10:11:00.002-04:00

It seems as if I change my mind every other week!!! I'm beginning to get on my own nerves and I'm surprised Mr. Me isn't trying to run for the hills.

We interrupt this post for the following public announcement:

Today is my fiance's birthday!!! It's a busy time at work so we'd planned to celebrate this weekend. Well I was going to surprise him this evening until he started talking about going to play softball. I had the son (still looking for name suggestions) in on it and everything - but I had to tell him, so I'll be taking my boo to dinner. I got him a 'Sunday gift pack' for his birthday: cufflinks for his shirts, a new bible (The Message and NIV parallel because those are the two versions the pastor uses) and some cologne. The cologne is more for me - but it fits with the theme. I can't wait to give it to him tonight.

Back to your regularly scheduled blogging

So the latest is the wedding. Yup, that's what I said - WEDDING. Over the holiday weekend, I kept seeing tv shows and movies with wedding scenes. The next thing I knew, I realized that I wanted to get made up, walk down the aisle, commit to my future in public and have a first dance with my new husband. So when I realized I felt this way - I initially got a little sad. With Mr. Me's huge family, there's no way we can have a small wedding. So I was Grumpy McGrump for a few hours on Sunday. I finally told him what had been bothering me on Monday - his reply "We can have a small wedding, you just let me know how many people I can invite and I'll deal with it." I love him so much!!! Now to be clear - this thing about his invite list was not just a notion. We've discussed many times in the past - especially after he came up with a list of 80 for our engagement party. He's admitted that he's more concerned with hurting feelings than I am - but he's agreed to handle it if we decide to have a wedding. After his response, he got this big grin on his face (have I told you that I love his smile) and told me that he really wants to say our vows in front of everybody.

So now I'm looking into places to have an inexpensive wedding here in Atlanta. Our guest list will be limited to 50 people each and there will be no children allowed. I've set an internal budget but I won't disclose it here because Thumbelina (the Planner) reads the blog. My budget is the absolute MAXIMUM I will pay and I will only reach that if someone presents something that I believe is a GREAT deal. My preference is to spend less than that budget. If Thumbelina gets wind of the budget - she'll 'help' me spend every last dime. Wait, that's ToolTime that operates like that - but I'm not sure if Thumbelina is the same way so I'll keep the budget in my brain until I start getting prices. I told one person that I was thinking of having a wedding and she starts telling me how there's no way I can have a wedding with 100 guests under $20 thousand. I don't believe that one bit and if I find that to be true - guess who WON'T be having a wedding. Ever since that convo numbers will only be exchanged with Mr. Me.

The Weekend

Mr. Me and I had a fairly lazy weekend. Well as lazy as a weekend can be for me. After the gym, mani/pedi and washing of the hair - we went to view the clubhouse for the engagement dinner. Well we get down there and realize we couldn't get in...wasted trip if you ask me. I did get to peak in to learn that we'll have to rent some additional tables and chairs but that's about it. The plan was to go to the movies after the clubhouse visit. While at lunch, Mr. Me gets a call from his cousin - his son's high school had their first football game Saturday evening. Of course he tells his cousin that he had to check with me first. Have I mentioned that I HATE when he does that? If we didn't show up, I would be the bad guy... When he got off the phone I brought up the movies and he said we'd only stay for a little while. Well that little while turned into staying until half-time and it was too late to go to the movies. We agreed that we'd go to the movies Monday. The football game was very boring for me. I was not in football attire (skirt, flip flops) and we were sitting on concrete bleachers. His nephew loaned me his butt pad for a little while. Mr. Me had a ball - I fought off insects and played around on his phone. If I'm going to be attending those in the future I need to be more prepared. First of all, I need to know in advance so I can dress properly and we need to keep butt cushions and bug spray in the car.

ToolTime fired up the grill Sunday so we spent some time over there. TaeBo, Tooltime and I had a brief discussion about my bachelorette party and TaeBo brought up strippers. I proclaimed that there would be no strippers at my party to which ToolTime started yelling "Mo and Kita, Mo and Kita!" - you'll get that if you watch T.O's reality show.

Monday was a VERY lazy day. I mean we really just lazed around pretty much the entire day. I think we got dressed around 4pm and that was to go get something to eat - no, I take that back, we had leftovers from the cookout. We went to have our traditional outing at Brusters - only to find that the one near my house is closing. Oh well, I don't need it anyway. At one point Monday I looked down at my legs and realized they were ashy. I was appalled - I guess laying around the couch, the bed, etc all day will rub that lotion off after a while. I won't be letting that happen again.

After my relaxing Monday I got hit with a busy week. I'll have to tear myself away from work to take Mr. Me to dinner tonight. Oh well, these busy seasons are just a part of being an accountant. Let me get back to work!

A New Name

2009-09-04T16:21:00.003-04:00

No, not for me. We all know my name won't change when I get married, I'll just add a Mrs. to the front - I need a name for Mr. Me's youngest. He gives me so many blogworthy topics that I have to stop calling him the son. For instance he's so into our relationship. Before we got engaged, Mr. Me told him that if we got married we wouldn't have a wedding. The next time I saw the son, he asked me why. I said "Don't you want to go to college?" His reply, "I'm going to get scholarships" Then I said, "Well don't you want a car?" He couldn't argue with that but then he said "what about the cake tasting?" WTH?!??! All I could do was laugh - I wanted to ask him what type of TLC, Bravo, Bridezilla shows had he been watching.

Sunday while we were discussing our future lives together he brought up him changing schools. Well actually he asked if his dad was going to drive him to school every morning (clear across town) and we told him no, he was going to get out there and catch the bus with the rest of the kids. He then said that changing schools his sophomore year would be tragic. WTH?!?!?!? LOL, I chuckled and told him that he would be alright - it's not like it's his senior year.

Today, I got an email from him telling me that he had the perfect playlist for our engagement party/dinner - one with a lot of love songs, LOL! I told him I think we had it covered but to send me his ideas anyway.

That lil dude cracks me up.

So, I read all the comments regarding the honeymoon. Honestly after I posted I started to think that maybe I didn't even want to go on the cruise. Well, I want to go - and was planning to go as part of my 40th birthday celebration - but not go for the honeymoon. Since I've always wanted to go to one of those all-inclusive, Adults-Only resorts - I decided to look those up on-line. MUCH cheaper than the cruise. But then I started to think that we'll get bored after a few days. And that has nothing to do with our relationship but I usually get bored after a few days in any one vacation spot. That's why cruises are good for me. Perhaps we'll only go for about 4 days and then come back for a trip to Savannah or something. I don't know - I do know that I plan to vacation a full week with the love of my life after we tie the knot. We'll talk about that this weekend.

Speaking of...I am so excited to have this 3-day weekend. It's right before it's going to get real busy at work and I get to spend it all with my boo.

Have a great weekend/holiday all!

Engagement Update

2009-09-03T12:36:00.003-04:00

Hey blogland! Long time no 'see'

Well, I've been busy this week at work and in the evenings so I'm trying to pound out a quick post during my lunch break.

Engagement Party
It's still on, although I would love to cancel it. We've secured the clubhouse and I've got the food and desserts on tap. The problem is Mr. Me's family is to dern big!!! We went through his list Sunday night and if everyone came - there would be 80 of his invitees. Since then I think we've got positive confirmation from 60. I can't afford to invite any of my folks, LOL. He has 60 coming and I have about 12... And THIS is why we won't be having a wedding.

Engagement Photos
I'm still on the fence with this idea. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE taking pictures - I just don't like paying for them. Mr. Me and I were at the mall this past weekend and he insisted on stopping at one of those photo places. When the lady asked if she could help us, the first thing he said was "We got engaged last weekend and we're thinking of taking engagement photos." I just love how he loves to tell EVERYONE that we're engaged.

Premarital Counseling
So Mr. Me finally talked to the church (I'm beginning to feel like I'm not doing ANYTHING in this process, LOL) and they told him that they prefer us to set the date before taking the class. ERR??? Makes no sense to me because what happens if, after counseling, they recommend that we don't get married? I guess that doesn't happen often. On the other hand I understand their reasoning. Apparently their classes fill up fast and they try to accomodate wedding dates. The lady told him that if we don't have a date, we might get bumped for someone that does. Now that I think about it - that still doesn't make sense, that couple should have signed up on time. HMPH!!! Anyway, the classes are 8 weeks on Monday nights. I think we're going to take the January class. When Mr. Me first told me, the first thing I said was "Monday nights! What about Monday Night Football?" I'm such a dude, which leads me into...

I'm Such a Dude
Mr. Me called me a dude Sunday night. We were talking about taking Thumbelina down to see the clubhouse this week and I told him the soonest I could go was Friday. Monday was my fantasy football draft, Tuesday we had a departmental dinner at work, Wednesday was dinner with ToolTime and Thumbelina and tonight is the football game. We were at a restaurant watching a replay of a football game and right after I told him that, the guy started playing with the remote. I turned and said - I KNOW he's not about to turn from the game! At which point Mr. Me said 'sometimes you're like a dude.' But then he said he liked that about me. I didn't like it one bit so he chose to tease me about it - talking about 'I love you man!' Then when we went to Target later I mentioned that I needed to get some fingernail polish remover. He made a comment about me going back to being the lady Tazzee, but when I punched him in his chest I reverted to the dude Tazzee. He had fun with that for the rest of the day...

Vows Date
So when Mr. Me called me and told me what the church said - I pulled out my calendar and said "well let's pick a date." I don't think the date is all that important since we're not having a ceremony but he was surprised I was ready to pick one just that quick. After I thought about it, I suggested May 15 - then we can leave on the 16th and go on the Tom Joyner cruise for our honeymoon. He says he's fine with that, but I don't think he wants to go on the cruise - for what that cruise costs, I don't think we should go if he's not totally sold on it. So as I'm thinking about that - I was thinking we could exchange vows on the beach in Miami before heading on the cruise. Nothing formal - me in a cute sundress, him in some linen. OR we could say our vows in St. Thomas on the beach - but the cruise doesn't dock in St. Thomas for about 4 days. It kind of takes away from the cruise being our honeymoon if we don't exchange vows until the cruise is almost over. We're going to talk about this face to face this weekend so I can get a clear idea of how he feels about the cruise. ToolTime has researched the cost, and to get married in St. Thomas is around $300 - now that's my kind of wedding! Today I've been thinking of just flying to St. Thomas for a destination wedding and staying at one of those all-inclusive resorts - one with no kids. That's one of the reasons I suggested the TJMS cruise - no kids. Plus, we can hang out in our room all we want (wink, wink) or we can go hang out with ToolTime and Thumbelina when we want. We'll see.

Random
My iPhone broke this weekend. I'm going through serious withdrawal. I'd grown accustomed to checking email, twittering and checking facebook from my iPhone. I'm not up for renewal so what's a girl to do? It's funny that I'm having issues with spending money on the engagment party, photos and a wedding - but I'm seriously considering dropping $400 for a new phone...

Now that I have a semblance of when I'm going to say 'I Do' I really need to get on my financial plan. Mr. Me seems to have the living arrangement, etc all figured out. According to his plan, we rent out his home and him and the son come live in my spot. Since we both just bought out homes, selling them wouldn't be a good financial move. Especially for me because the market got worse after I bought. Renting isn't an option with my HOA covenants. Sunday, the son (I need to think of a name for him) went to church with us and we had breakfast after. We were talking about what's going to happen when we all live together. I kindly told him that education is VERY important to me and I will be checking all his homework. Mr. Me justs asks him if he did (well he did that before this week). The son got big eyed. I also informed him that if we have to stay up until 3am we'll get it right. Later Mr. Me said he thinks the son is excited about that discipline. Umm, yeah - he will be until I have to lay it on him.

I told Mr. Me that I wanted to meet his ex-wife. She told him that she had no problem with it and to tell me congratulations. I think that was one of the most civil conversations they've had in a while. Now we just have to arrange the meeting.

Oh well, that is all for now. Let me tell you - I am so ready for all this to be over and me to be Mrs. Me.

That Girl

2009-08-28T14:16:00.003-04:00

I'm afraid I'm becoming 'That Girl' - the girl I just knew I'd never be. What girl am I referring to? The one that wants to tell everyone that she's engaged - yeah, That Girl...

For the most part, I hold it in though. When I went back to the salon to get my manicure I tried to hold it in, but I sat there and told the manicurist - she'd never done my nails before - that I was engaged. Then when I got to work early Monday morning, I went to visit with one of the few co-workers that I chat with about non-work things. I was telling her that I didn't get a chance to work over the weekend because I had more important things to take care of - then I was like 'I GOT ENGAGED THIS PAST WEEKEND!' and then I did the 'That Girl' move and showed her my ring. THEN later that afternoon I was talking to the auditor - and I don't really care for her - and I told her!!!

That was Monday. Since then I've only told folks that need to know. Although yesterday on Twitter, Ledisi (love her voice) responded to one of my tweets with a 'Tazzee, how are you?' and I wanted to reply 'I GOT ENGAGED THIS PAST WEEKEND!' so bad...but I didn't. I probably look at my ring once a minute (if I wait that long) because I do a lot of typing at work and I glance at it with each pause of my fingers.

See, the thing is, I've always said that I wouldn't be a ring show-er (without invitation) because I thought that was a materialistic gesture. I always thought that women who flash their ring in someone's face were bragging about the ring and not the relationship. But I've been hasty to judge. While I LOVE my ring, I love the fact that I'm actually going to be spending the rest of my life with Mr. Me even more. My ring is just a symbol of his love for me - not just the $$$ but the effort. I know that Mr. Me spent a lot of time learning about diamonds and going to different jewelry stores in addition to the $$$ he shelled out. $$$ shelled out at the same time he was sending his oldest off to school. And if the diamond would have been half this size I would be flashing it with the same big cheese on my face.

So yes, I've become 'That Girl' but she isn't who I initially thought she was. To tell the truth, I like being That Girl.

In other news, I'm having my first engagement dinner (not a party) planning session with Thumbelina and Mr. Me this evening. Pray for me, LOL.

What A Man

2009-08-27T12:44:00.002-04:00

, what a man, what a mighty good man (men)!

We're trying to finalize this engagement party. While my house is big enough to have it, the parking isn't sufficient. Mr. Me mentioned that his cousin has a clubhouse in her subdivision that we probably could use. Me, being the lax person I've been lately, said 'sounds good.' And I left it at that.

Well more recently I decided I need to get on the ball. Yesterday I asked him to start putting together his list of invitees and I asked Chef if she would be willing to cater. Last night we settled on a date. Mr. Me took it upon himself to call his cousin to get the clubhouse scheduled and I called my Uncle to see if that date worked for him.

Let me state that when my Uncle got on the phone I could just hear the joy in his voice (I'm getting emotional just thinking about it). He told me that I have made him very happy, that he is so happy that I'm happy. That really touched me. He then said to make sure I let him know when we get everything planned. For a quick second I started to feel the wedding pressure, but I released it and told him that we weren't planning to have a wedding. My wonderful Uncle replied with "You do whatever YOU want to do - as long as YOU'RE happy." That made my night.

This morning I talked to my sweetheart (my fiance') and he told me that he was planning to keep calling the church until he talked to someone about the pre-marital counseling classes. See, that was my assignment. I called a few times and got voicemail so I left a msg. Well, I got a call around 10:30 with the details on how the program works. Eventhough he keeps telling folks that his job was to just buy the ring and then show up to say 'I Do' - he is doing so much more. That man keeps a smile on my face.

Now don't get me wrong - I'm not totally blowing off this process, it's just difficult to make things happen while I'm at work. I did manage to get my ring appraised for insurance on my way to work from a Dr. appt. Now I just have to get the papers to my insurance agency. Next up - write out my invite list for the engagement party. It won't be difficult for me: My Uncle and Aunt, sisters and their families, ToolTime, TaeBo and son, Be.yonce (she'll be in town) and Thumbelina. I think that's about it. This is really supposed to be a family affair, but Mr. Me knows that my girls are my family so they have to be there too.

I'm also handling the food. Chef is going to cook and for dessert I'm ordering cupcakes from this site:

www.pinkcupcakedreams.com

I got a chance to sample those cupcakes last night at Babs party and they were awesome!!! Yup, I said 'they' - I was planning to only have one but Barista sent me home with a stash of 4 so Mr. Me and I could have a 'cake tasting' for the party. I ended up eating on of the stash when I got home (shame on me). Anyway, if you're an Atlanta resident you REALLY need to check out these cupcakes.

Engagement Photos???

2009-08-26T15:40:00.002-04:00

I've never heard of them but Thumbelina sent me a text today asking if we were going to take them.

I've been saying I need to get some professional photos but I don't think I want to take engagement photos. I mean what would we do with them? Would we get a bunch of wallet size and give them to friends? I can see it now, my friends walking around with pictures of their kids in their wallets - oh and this one is a photo of Tazzee and Mr. Me, LOL.

Perhaps I'm just that out of the loop concerning all this, but I get tickled every time I think of 'engagement photos' - LOL.

The Engagement Chronicles

2009-08-24T13:32:00.003-04:00

First of all let me state that I probably will be posting more often because I've been going through moments of being overwhelmed with being engaged. Yesterday, if I wasn't working so hard - I would have a very interesting vent post. So as I journey on this path of getting married - you guys will be able to read my thoughts firsthand.

The Ring
Mr. Me and I had discussed rings when he first started looking. Looking at my jewelry he thought I wore a lot of silver but I wear white gold and that came up. I also told him that I liked the princess cut. Well if you looked at the picture of my ring - you will see that it's set in yellow gold and its a Marquise cut. Let me make this clear; whenever we discussed the ring, I told Mr. Me that ultimately I wanted the ring he wanted me to have and that the fact that the ring will come from him is what matters. And I meant that. But as time went on, I started looking at the rings other women had on and I remember thinking that I REALLY hope he picks out a nice one.

Let me tell you - when he put this ring on my finger, I fell in love with it instantly. He said we could get it 'dipped' so it would be white gold (not sure how that works) but I said no - the fact that this ring is yellow gold and all the rest of my jewelry is white gold sets my engagement ring apart from everything else. Additionally, the setting of my ring has a heart (I love looking at it) and 'LOVE' is inside the band - with a diamond where the 'O' belongs. Mr. Me explained that he really liked those two features. Finally, I just love this ring because it is the one that he picked. No plans to change it.

Engagement Party/Wedding
One day we were watching a movie and a couple was having an engagement party - I think it was He's Just Not That Into You. Mr. Me asked if I'd ever been to/heard of an engagement party and I jokingly said "that's something rich, White people have." Well he's been on this engagement party trip. He has a lot of family that live here and he wants our 'families' to get to know one another. My 'family' would also include my close friends. When he mentioned it I just yeah, that's a good idea and he ran with it. Next thing I know, he's telling everyone he talked to that we would probably have an engagement party. Then he sent me an email yesterday saying his friend suggested that we have the engagement party in conjunction with his birthday...his birthday is September 10. Ummm - that's right around the corner....

THEN whenever he would talk to someone about our engagement they would say - just let me know when the wedding is - or let me know what the colors are going to be - or I know you're going to have me in the wedding. He would always reply that we weren't planning to have a wedding but it was my decision. I don't know about you - but I feel that puts the pressure on me. All his family wants a wedding (although he's had one already) and he's telling them the decision is mine. So when we tell them we aren't having one - guess who looks like the bad guy??? Moi!

On Sunday when I finally gave Thumbelina the details of the proposal (she was out of town at a family function Saturday) - the first question she asked was if we'd set a date. She already knew how I felt about a wedding, but I made a mistake of mentioning that IF we had a small wedding perhaps we can have it in her backyard. So she wanted a season (Spring, Summer, Fall?) but I couldn't give her anything. Thumbelina is itching to plan a wedding and she told me I was driving her crazy, LOL. Well not just me, but our friend Be.yonce has been engaged for quite sometime and she still hasn't set a date so the both of us are driving her crazy.

With all that talk I became a little overwhelmed. ToolTime is out of town and I called her with tears in my eyes. I asked her when was she coming home because I needed her, LOL. After I told her what was going on. With the wedding, the first thing she said was 'Girl, it's just like the prom' - talk about an epiphany. In the past we've both laughed at how everyone told us that we just HAD to go to our proms: it's a once in a lifetime event, you'll have a ball, etc. When my prom was over I remember thinking "I could have saved that money" - so unless I personally feel the need to have a wedding, there won't be one. As far as the engagement party, ToolTime suggested that I let Thumbelina plan it. PERFECT! It may not be a wedding, but she'll get a chance to plan something. So I asked Thumbelina if she would work with Mr. Me to plan it. They both are fine with it.

So at the end of the day, I'm not overwhelmed...at this moment. Next up - I'm trying to get our pre-marital counseling scheduled. Word on the street is they move pretty slow with that at the church, so we'll see how it goes.

My Weekend!!!

2009-08-23T21:27:00.004-04:00

Well friends, I have had an EXCITING weekend. If you follow me on Facebook or Twitter, you already know but for those of you that aren't - here goes:

Friday

After work, Mr. Me and I decided to go get some wings while watching the Falcons game. Of course I had to get my favorite - lemon pepper. While at the wing spot, Mr. Me told me that his parents were planning to move to Atlanta and asked if they could stay with him. I asked him how he felt about that and he replied, "Well we would be able to spend more time together during the week." Jokingly, I gave him this look and said "Don't move them in your house and come seek refuge at mine" - he was offended. I apologized profusely but he took it to heart. The rest of the night was pretty much a bust - he was very distant towards me and I felt really bad.

Saturday

We woke up and went to the gym. Before going to the gym I told him that I definitely needed to go get my 'toes done' before we went to our cookout later on. He told me that was fine because he had some place he needed to go also. Me, being the nosy person that I am, kept asking what he had to do but he was very vague...I left it alone. Honestly I thought that he was still very hurt from what I'd said the night before. In my dramatic fashion, I thought he'd already bought my ring and was going to try to return it....

After the gym, I just ran in the house and changed my shirt before heading to the salon. As the technician was finishing my pedicure Mr. Me called to tell me that he never went anywhere and that he was at the house. He asked how much longer before I would get home - I estimated 20 minutes. Well I forgot that I was also getting my eyebrows waxed so it was more like 40 minutes. As I'm pulling into the garage my phone rings. It's Mr. Me - "Baby, how much longer?" I told him I was in the garage but I have to admit - at this point I'm wondering why is he so worried about me getting back to the house ('why you swea'in me????').

I came in the house through the basement and called his name as I was coming up the stairs. I had to make a pit stop in the guest bathroom (between the basement and the main level) and when I came out I called him again. I assumed he was in the TV room but he yelled he was upstairs. As I turned to head upstairs I saw a rose on the step. I immediately started to get emotional. I yelled upstairs "Baby, there's roses" and he chuckled and told me they were for me. So I'm walking up the stairs picking up roses, starting to cry. Mind you, I had no idea what was to come - I thought this was his way of letting me know that he wasn't upset with me (for what I'd done the night before). So as I'm crying and picking up the roses as I walk up the stairs, I can hear him taking pictures of me. I told him not to take pictures because I was looking rough (gym hair, gym pants, cotton between my toes from the pedicure) but he's steady taking pictures.

As I got to the top of the stairs, with tears in my eyes - I finally look up. There is the love of my life on one knee. At this point, I REALLY started crying. He started with "Tazzee, I love you with all my heart"...and I don't remember what was said after that. Thankfully, he knew what he said - so he typed it out for me:

I thought I would never get a chance at love until I met you. You've changed my life in so many ways. Now I feel that so many things are possible, You encourage me to chase my dreams, and not to give up on things life has to offer. Until I met you I was lost in a sea of discourage and despair. You showed me the light to happiness, strength and love. I love you, TAZZEE, WILL YOU MARRY ME...

AND I SAID YES!!!

The funny thing is, I thought about getting a manicure but decided against it because the plan was to get home and scrub my bathroom. Well after I'd cleaned, showered and did something to my hair - I went right back to the salon and got a manicure. I can't wear this lovely ring with raggedy cuticles, LOL.

I had two events scheduled for that evening - a cookout at Chef's house from 4-8 and then game night at Babs' house. Well I'm glad I RSVP'd 'maybe' to the game night because I was SUPER late to Chef's house. I was so happy to introduce Mr. Me to folks as my fiance'. On the way to Chef's house I called my Uncle (he was happy but said Mr. Me was supposed to ask him first, LOL) and my older sister. My younger sister was coming to the cookout so I decided to surprise her and my nephew there.

Sunday

After church I had to call others. Mr. Me had already posted the pictures and everything to his Facebook page, but I had to wait until I called some folks personally and let them know. Last week we started what was supposed to be a tradition of 'no cell phone Sunday' but we couldn't abide by that. We both had too many calls to make. After our nap, we did continue our tradition of dinner and some ice cream though.

After talking to ToolTime and TaeBo, I discovered that they've known for quite sometime. They did some checking for Mr. Me to see if I was ready for the proposal (I vaguely remember that conversation with TaeBo) and everything - so they weren't surprised when I told them. I guess I was the only one surprised.

And what a lovely surprise it was. Right now, I can't think of a happier time in my life. We haven't set a date - we decided to wait until after we complete premarital counseling. But I'll be calling the church first thing Monday morning to find out when we can sign up for class.

Now let me get off this computer and spend some time with my Fiance'!

Delusional

2009-08-20T10:30:00.002-04:00

This morning I realized that I've been delusional about my weight loss goal. I was reflecting on my weight loss from January 2007 to June 2008. During 2007, I lost 30 pounds - that was from mid-January to December 31. Then I lost and an additional 12 pounds from January 1, 2008 until approximately June 15. I sat at that weight for a good 4 months and then started gaining when I embarked on my move to Atlanta. If I'm planning to get this weight off again - I just don't see how I'm going to lose 30 lbs in 4 months. Especially since it's much harder this time.

Perhaps I thought I could lose it so quickly because I gained those 25 pounds back in less than a year. I don't know....

Anyway I'm still on the path. I have put up my scale - I'm trying my best not to weigh myself until August 31. I went grocery shopping last night to get more healthy foods in my home and snack drawer at work. Finally, I'm working out with my trainer in the evenings sometimes so that I can get in more workout time. With our last two evening sessions, I got on the elliptical for 30 minutes before our session. Because our morning sessions start when the gym opens, I'm only able to get in a quick cardio warm-up before he beats up on my muscles. After our workout, I'm good to walk back to the car. I need more cardio in my life.

Oh and I finally broke down and bought some new clothes. These pants I have on today look really cute. I hate I had to buy a size 14. Last summer I was down to a 12 and I was fitting in some 10's, I was just too cheap to buy more clothes. I'm glad I didn't buy any 10's...but I also hate that I gave away all those 'interim' cute clothes I bought the summer of 2007.

Oh well, no need to dwell on the past - I gotta focus on my future. The future where I can fit back into all those clothes I bought on that shopping spree I had for my birthday last year.

An Emotional Weekend

2009-08-17T09:39:00.003-04:00

My weekend was very relaxing and emotional. That emotional time of the month is here, so I know that was a factor. Thursday night I found out that my friend was NOT coming to visit. She was too sick to travel, I was sad she was sick but was glad that Mr. Me and I would be able to spend the weekend together. As I mentioned in my last post, we don't see each other during the week because school is back in session. All week I was missing him. I didn't think I was going to see him until Sunday, so I sent him a lovely card.

Friday

Mr. Me came over and we had dinner and ice cream. Dinner consisted of salads from our local Mexican grill - we watched one of my taped shows while having dinner. We then rode down the street to have ice cream at my favorite ice cream spot. I don't even like ice cream that much - but I will get it from this spot. We sat outside and conversed while eating our ice cream and listening to the karaoke going on at the wing joint nearby.

Saturday

My plan was to get up early, hit the gym, do some housecleaning, wash and set my hair, watch some Falcons football and then do a little shopping. WELLLLL - that didn't happen. First of all, we got out of bed around 10 instead of 8, setting me back 2 hours. Then I had to go by my office because I left my wallet at work Friday, so that set us back another 40 minutes or so. We ended up working out at the gym by the office. Then TaeBo wanted to come by and watch RHOA - I don't watch the show but because she doesn't have cable I taped it for her. I got sucked into watching it as I ate lunch. By the time I got in the shower it was 2:30pm. I was under the dryer in time to watch the beginning of the game. Then one of Mr. Me's friends invited us over so after I finished with my hair we headed cross town. We didn't get home until close to 11pm and we had to get up early for church. That is when things got a little emotional - as we were preparing to go to sleep Saturday night, I started crying. I'd gotten so accustomed to having him around -the thought of him going back home on Sunday got to me. Add to that, my monthly friend was on her way and I was an emotional wreck. I had to stop all that crying because I didn't want to have puffy eyes in the morning. Of course Mr. Me was having a fit because he doesn't like to see me cry - but I think he's going to get used to it eventually. But I did admit to him that ever since my grandmother passed away, I've been scared to TRULY love anyone for fear they would be taken from me. I think I'd realized Saturday night that I'd reached that point in my love for Mr. Me.

Sunday

Before I get into the day let me say that Mr. Me had been asking me about August 16th for a while. I can't remember when he first asked but he would periodically ask if we had anything planned for the 16th. Well on the way home Saturday night, he brought it up again - he said he was feeling a little anxious about the 16th, like there was something he was supposed to do. So as soon as we got to the house we prayed about it.

So we're at church and they have the altar call - before I knew it, Mr. Me was letting go of my hand and walking up there!!! I quickly grabbed my bible and purse and marched up front with him. I was cheesing like I'd just won a million dollars. I mentioned in a previous post how I didn't want to join a church just yet because I truly believe he and I will be together - so I didn't want to join without him. Well, I've been feeling like a spiritual orphan lately and now I have a home. When we got to the car - yup, you guessed it - I cried. The message during service was about the prodigal son's epiphany - when he decided he could go back home. Mr. Me also got an epiphany during service. The night before, while at his friend's house, the subject of wedding's came up. Mr. Me mentioned getting married in the pastor's office and he specifically mentioned the church we joined yesterday. I didn't pay any attention to it because I pretty much blow off all references to marriage. When we talked about joining the church and his anxiety about the 16th, he said he initially thought that was the day he was supposed to propose to me. But after mentioning getting married at that church - he realized that he had to do things in order and that he needed to get connected with the church first. He also talked about how God has blessed him and it was time for him to do his part. I was one happy lady!

We also took his daughter shopping for school supplies. After our 'after-church nap' we chilled around the house for a little bit before going to have dinner and more ice cream. Umm, did I mention that I'm slightly lactose intolerant? LOL, I didn't have any episodes this weekend - perhaps the PMS counteracts the lactose problems... During dinner and ice cream, we were cell phone free. First time we've done that, so we're going to start having 'no cell phone Sundays' - we both can get caught up with messages, texts and FB.

When we got back to the house - I did cry a little bit more, so he waited until I fell asleep before leaving. Then when he got home, he called and told me that he was scared during his drive home. He felt that our day together was so perfect that perhaps the 16th was also going to be his last day on earth (I forgot to mention that we were talking about loved ones we'd lost during our ice cream social). He said he drove 55mph the entire way home and just prayed that he'd get home safely. In the past Mr. Me was never afraid of dying, but he said now he is because he wants to spend many more years with me.

OK, let me stop before I start crying again.

It was a pretty emotional weekend. I can't wait to see my 'boo' again this weekend...

My Vacation

2009-08-11T14:12:00.002-04:00

WAS GREAT!!!

My trip was long overdue. It got to the point where I was planning to go even if the forecast was thunder and lightning all weekend. Mr. Me got sick Thursday evening. I think he came down with a stomach bug similar to what I had. It hit him when he went to pick up his son for dinner. I felt bad for him, but I was not about to cancel my vacation. I rubbed his belly a little, made sure he drank plenty of liquids and propped his tail up in the car Friday morning. Honestly I was ready to go by myself - that's how bad I needed to get to the beach. Thankfully he was able to make the trip.

Friday - we didn't leave as early as I wanted because of Mr. Me's tummy ache AND we had to go by his son's school to make sure all was set for Monday. I was a little ticked about having to go by the school because I felt he should have handled that earlier in the week - but I got over that quickly, we were headed to the beach! The drive was 5 hours and I drove it all the way. Straight! We didn't have to stop for gas, the bathroom or food. Normally I wouldn't make it 5 hours straight but ya girl was hyped!!! Mr. Me slept most of the trip and I sang. Surprisingly, 104.1 kept a strong signal all the way into Alabama. After we lost the signal I put on my gospel playlist and had praise and worship the rest of the way. I was in the zone.

When we got there, we hit the beach after checking in. Well, we stopped and I had a salad because I was hungry. Mr. Me still wasn't feeling well. He grew up in Florida and he wasn't very excited about going to the beach. I must admit - I tricked him into hanging out on the beach. First we were going to just eat something, but then I suggested we go for a quick stroll. Then I suggested that we just sit down for a second. He had to admit, sitting out there with the breeze from the gulf in that beautiful white sand was just what the doctor ordered. We fell asleep pretty early Friday night.

Saturday - we were up by 6:30 am (CST), so we started the day just watching some TV and hanging out on FB a little. He plays that FB poker so I let him get his fix. Then it was breakfast and the beach. We walked about a half mile up the street to see what was around. A restaurant named Crabs was putting out their advertisement for all-you-can-eat crabs. Did I mention that it was Crabfest weekend? I love crabs so I knew I was about to be in heaven. We walked the pier and then hit the beach for a little bit. I'm not an avid swimmer so I never swim at the beach, but I do like to play in the water. At one point a school of minnows swam right by me. Then the clouds came and we went back inside. Around 4pm we were headed to dinner and I noticed the sun shining bright. We ran back to the room, changed and went to the beach. Since I'm not comfortable swimming at the beach, Mr. Me bought some inner tube flotation devices for us. I know we looked silly out there on those inner tubes, but it was fun. I still wouldn't go out far, but I had fun riding the waves. I also got some exercise in because I did a lot of kicking. Saturday night we went to a restaurant my boss recommended - he vacations in the area at least twice a year. The restaurant was good - but then again, I love seafood so I doubt it could have disappointed.

Sunday - we slept later on Sunday. After breakfast, Mr. Me went back to the room while I headed to the pool. Unfortunately as soon as I got settled these strong winds came and I had to haul it back inside. After the sun came back out - we hit the pool. Yes, Mr. Me came out with me, but he only lasted in that sun for about 20 minutes before he went back to the room. I sat out by the pool sunning. Yep, I was purposely getting a tan. Periodically I would hop in the water to cool off. After a while Mr. Me came back out to join me - when he saw me, he called me Blackie, LOL. After I felt I'd been sufficiently kissed by the sun we headed back in to shower and change for dinner. Yup, we headed back to Crabs for Crabfest.

I insisted that we walk to the restaurant - it was only a 1/2 mile from the hotel. Mr. Me was sweating bullets about halfway there. My poor baby! He's about 3 shades darker than me and he's about a foot closer to the sun than me. But I had put a towel in my bag for him. He was good. So when we got to the spot, he wanted to take a picture - I wanted to get inside to get the party started. He got some funny pics:

- the restaurant sign with me walking in front, I look like I'm on a mission
- the first plate of crabs arrive and I'm smiling as I grab a leg
- I'm cracking the shell with a sincere look of determination on my face
- I have a mouth full of snow crab with a look of satisfaction on my face
- a picture from behind me with an empty plate (well I didn't eat the potatoes) and a bucket full of shells.

The funny thing is, I didn't even know he was taking the pictures when he took them. They are hilarious - all I could do is laugh when he posted them on FB with captions. The restaurant also had a special on their voodoo juice - $6 for this bucket of what could be considered rum punch. It was good, but I couldn't drink it all. As we sat in Crabs, I was in heaven - restaurant on the beach with the man I love, all you can eat crabs and good drank while the NFL HOF game was on TV. Yes, I was HEAVEN!

Monday - the party was over. After breakfast we finished packing and headed back to Atlanta. I didn't drive the entire time - I wasn't as excited to be getting back home.

All in all it was a great trip! I had a wonderful time and we're thinking of making it an annual trip. Now that school has started - Mr. Me won't be spending as much time at my house. In the beginning I was telling him that we needed to spend less time together but now I'm missing him already. Especially since I have company coming to town this weekend. Oh well, I'll take advantage of this time to workout more and eat right.

Variety

2009-08-05T10:45:00.004-04:00

My last post was SUPER long. I realized that if I blogged more often, I probably wouldn't have such long posts. I need to work on that - no promises though.

- My belly is SO much better. I'm glad you guys got a good laugh out of my weekend. It's funny to me too.

- I'm back to my plan of weight loss with working out and monitoring my eating. But I still haven't dialed down my social calendar - I have something going on every weekend this month and football season is next month. My goal remains to be down 30 lbs by the end of this year and I refuse to let go of that goal.

- My financial plan is still in place mainly because I still haven't spent any money. Other than paying my tithes, that bonus money is still intact. I think I'm going to invest in a table for my breakfast area and hold off on the other items until next year. I still have my beach vacation coming up, but that was already in the budget. I have a few other small, weekend trips throughout the rest of the year also. Although, if I can't seem to lose a chunk of this weight before it gets cold, I may have to buy some more clothes - another reason to stay on plan.

- I've been attending this church since I moved back but I haven't joined yet. The church is nice and I enjoy the pastor, its just that I can't see myself serving there. Not in a bad way - I just can't 'see' it if you know what I mean. In the past when I've joined a church, I could just envision myself in ministry and I haven't had that vision yet. I visited another church closer to my house - I liked it, younger and more progressive. Thing is, Mr. Me likes the first church better and that is something I need to consider. Well....we're not married or even engaged, but he is a big part of my life and I don't want to make such a significant decision as joining a church just yet. The thing is, before we started going to church together, Mr. Me wasn't a big church goer. He's seen first hand a lot of the hypocrisy of some church leaders here in Atlanta and that gave him an 'excuse' not to go. So it's a big thing that he actually enjoys going to church. Additionally my BFF likes this church. I think the other church (that I'm eyeing) will be a little too much for her. So I've been in discussions with God about this. It really is NOT about me and I can serve anywhere. So the next time I go to worship (at the first church) I'm going to make an effort to 'see' myself in ministry.

Friday morning Mr. Me and I are heading to the beach. I AM SO EXCITED!!! This will be our first vacation together. We've traveled together but it was to visit others. I don't think he's accustomed to this because he told me called his dad and asked him if his cousin still lived in Pensacola. I was glad to hear that the cousin had moved because I would have had to tell Mr. Me that we aren't visiting any relatives on this trip. We'll have a talk about that sort of thing on the ride down. Not one-sided though - he much more of a family person than I am and we need to come to a happy medium on that sort of thing. But this weekend is just us and the white sands of Pensacola Beach. I plan to get kissed by the sun quite frequently.

Friday is also the birthday of Mr. Me's youngest. So we're taking him to dinner Thursday night - since I'm taking his dad away from him on his birthday. The son asked me to bring my nephew so I guess they'll get a chance to meet. I hope they get along.

Well that is all... Have an awesome Wednesday folks!

My Weekend

2009-08-03T11:05:00.002-04:00

I spent the majority of my weekend in bed with a stomach virus/flu/issue. It all started Thursday evening...

When I left work my stomach was feeling a little upset. I thought it was because I didn't eat much during the day - storing up calories for a big dinner. I was meeting friends at a fairly new restaurant for Restaurant Week then heading to a play. I have acid reflux and sometimes, when I don't eat, I get a little nauseous. I used to have to take medicine for my reflux daily but after I got rid of some of my extra weight I began taking the pills as needed. It had been a while since I'd taken one and I didn't have one with me so I knew I wouldn't eat anything spicy or have any alcohol at dinner.

Dinner was great - we went to BLT Steak in the W downtown. The menu is fairly pricey so we knew that restaurant wouldn't make the 'regular' list, but it's a potential birthday spot. After dinner we went to the play. We went to see 'A Cool Drink A Water' at the Horizon Theatre. The play was excellent. It's an 'update' of 'A Raisin in the Sun' but it was MUCH funnier. During the play my stomach was still a little upset, but I thought that was because I ate a little too much during dinner.

At 3am I awoke to a fierce need to visit the bathroom. Without going into all the details - I spent a lot of time in the bathroom between 3am and 9am. At 7am I called in late to work. At 9:30am I called out and spent much of the day in bed. I made some homemade ginger tea (hot water, ginger, lemon and honey) to try to settle my tummy. I also ate some saltines - but they went right through me. I'd promised my nephew and godson that they were going to stay the night so we could attend the Falcons Training Camp on Saturday morning. When 5pm rolled around Friday I wasn't feeling 100% but I didn't want to let the boys down so I headed out to pick them up.

We went to McDonald's so the boys could eat. I didn't want to eat anything - at this point I was just drinking water. After we left McDonald's I prepared to head home so they could play (thank God for my 13 yr old nephew keeping my 3yr old godson company) and I could get back in bed. As soon as I hit the highway I got a call from Mr. Me - his oldest son was in an accident and he wanted me to call AAA to tow the car. This is what I get for getting out the bed!!! I couldn't tell him I didn't feel well because I felt well enough to drive across town to get the boys... so I headed to the accident scene to wait on AAA.

My godson was in the back seat playing with his noisy truck and motorcycle, periodically yelling 'Tazzee, I wanna go to your house!' My nephew was a trooper - picking up the toys that my godson would drop. Every time Mr. Me would come to the car, my godson would yell 'Hi!' LOL. He also has this habit of calling everyone boy. 'What's that boy's name?' - referring to Mr. Me. No matter how many times I told him my nephew's name - he would call him 'that boy'. Any other time it wouldn't have been bad, but the entire time my stomach was yelling at me for not being on my back, rubbing my belly. Finally, AAA comes. They get the car loaded and head off to Mr. Me's house.

I'm ready to head home...NOT! My car wouldn't start!!! By now it's dark, we're on 285 and since the police car is gone, the cars and trucks are no longer slowing down or getting over as they approach us. I called Mr. Me and he does this dangerous U-turn on the highway where he pulls up and his car is facing mine on the shoulder. I don't know how he did it, but he did. He starts tinkering with my battery - I keep thinking, it can't be the battery because all the lights are on. By now my godson is whining 'Tazzee, I wanna go to YOUR house' - I'm feeling bad, my nephew is shaking his head and trucks are zooming by us. I'm wondering what the tow truck driver is thinking and Mr. Me is telling me he doesn't car - he can leave the car on the street (I don't know why the son didn't get in the tow truck to see his car home but that's another story). Finally we get my car started and head home. By now, my godson is whining 'Tazzee, I wanna go to Mommy's house' but he soon fell asleep. I stopped and got some ginger ale on the way home.

Saturday morning we got up early to hit training camp. I fully planned to leave my house by 7:30 but I didn't know how long it would take to get my godson ready. We didn't leave until 8:15 and all was well until we got to Flowery Branch. Parking was crazy - we had to park far from the actual practice facility and I commenced to walking with a 3 yr old. My nephew had one of the lawn chairs and the backpack, while I carried the other lawn chair and steered my godson. Thankfully the shuttle came and picked us up. We made it to the practice with about 45 minutes to go. Then my godson decided to be defiant - he is one of the most stubborn toddlers I've ever encountered. He spent most of the training camp in time out while my nephew and I enjoyed the practice. Rather than have them walk all the way back to the car (the shuttle was no where to be found) I left them at the entrance and hoofed it back to the car. Initially I'd planned for us to hang out a little after practice but after the way my godson cut up, I had to get child free real quick and go home to rub my belly (I'd only had water, saltines and some ginger ale).

When I met up with TaeBo at Atlantic Station to drop off the toddler - I decided to have lunch with them. They ate pizza while I had a salad and some spinach dip. After I'd drop my nephew off - after apologizing profusely and promising that we'd try to go back without the babe - I went home and got in bed. But not before my lunch decided that my body was not where it wanted to be...

After a 3 hour nap, I was hungry so I decided to go have dinner with ToolTime. This time I had a salad and some veggie pasta. Oh and a little bread. When I got back to her house, I also had some Activia - thinking that might help. Well it didn't hurt...but as soon as I got home, that meal decided it didn't want to hang out with me either. Later that night, Mr. Me came over after getting his son settled at college. We barely spoke - we were both exhausted. Although I don't know why I was, I'd spent the past 2 days pretty much in bed.

When I got up the next morning, my stomach wasn't feeling 'as bad' but not well enough to interact with the general population (translation: much flatulence). I know Mr. Me was sick of me running back and forth to the bathroom, but I just could not bring myself to pass gas around him. I went to church on the Internet Sunday morning - the message was great and I discovered the notes section. I can take notes in the same window as the streaming service and at the end email them to myself. That was so cool!!!

Mr. Me slept until around 11am - he'd had a long day Saturday. Because he left his checkbook at the BBQ place Tuesday night, he had to run back over there to get it. I was STARVING (I'd had some saltines and Activia - but that went right through me) so I asked him to get me a rib plate. I hadn't had any meat since my 'incident' and thought that might sit...NOT, LOL. Well, let me be clear - I took one bite of the ribs and didn't want to eat them. I did eat a spoonful of mashed potatoes and some mac-n-cheese. That seemed to stay. Later, while we were getting ready to watch a movie, Mr. Me came upstairs with a bowl of ice cream. He handed it to me while he went to check out something on the Internet and I practically ate the entire bowl. The ice cream made my stomach feel a little better, but I'm slightly lactose intolerant so that made me even more gassy. But that ice cream was GOOD and I don't even eat ice cream like that.

So now I know Mr. Me really loves me because the rest of the evening I passed gas every 30 - 60 seconds. I know because I was keeping track. That was a combination of the ice cream and whatever was going on with my tummy. What made it even worse was, he kept trying to rub the gas out of me. That annoyed and embarrassed me - he thought it was funny.

So here I am and it's lunchtime on Monday. All I've had is some Activia yogurt and I'm hungry. I'm at work and I'm scared to eat. I have some leftover veggie pasta that I'm going to heat up - but my gut is still bubbling... If this doesn't get better soon, I'll be going to see my doctor - I'll give it until tomorrow morning. If (TMI ALERT) my stool doesn't get back to it's normal color, the bubble guts don't subside and my overall stomach uneasiness doesn't go away - I'll be headed to see the doctor. I need to be right for my beach trip this Friday.

And before anyone even comments - NO, I'm not pregnant!!!

Holding Hands

2009-07-30T09:48:00.002-04:00

I was exhausted the other night (as I am most nights). Usually when Mr. Me and I sleep in the same bed, initially my head is on his chest. But as the night goes on we find our separate sides of the bed. Well the other night - throughout the night - I found us holding hands. If one of us sorta woke up and noticed we weren't touching, we would grab the other's hand. I'm not sure if we do this regularly because I've been sleeping pretty sound lately but when I woke up yesterday morning I vividly recalled us holding hands. That made my heart smile.

Yesterday evening I was sharing with Mr. Me about my fear of messing up with children. I have to stop myself from calling TaeBo and worrying her about keeping the baby (toddler) overnight. What if he falls out the bed? He sleeps in a regular bed at ToolTime's house, but he's never stayed in my guest bed. What if he wakes in the middle of the night and gets scared of his new surroundings and falls down the stairs? I was thinking of having him sleep with me - but what if he pees in the bed? Anyway - when I was expressing my concern to Mr. Me he 'jokingly' asked if I wanted to have a baby so I could practice. After seeing the look on my face, he said he was kidding. Then I asked if he was serious and he said something about waiting a year. I explained that I'm going to be 40 next year and he mentioned that with technology people are having babies at age 70. OK, so I'm really getting scared now. I DO NOT want to have a baby. So I asked if he was serious, did he really want a baby. He said no, but if we did have one he would be happy. Errrr???? I love this man, I really do - but I don't want to have a baby. He already has 4 so he should be good, right? When I got my physical the nurse was talking about a 'union' baby. I inquired about one of those semi-permanent forms of birth control where I wouldn't have to take anything for 5 years. I think I'm going to have a nice little talk with Mr. Me reiterating our prior discussions about having children and then get a more reliable form of birth control. Honestly, if he really wants one and we get married, I would have one - but that's not something I want to explore right now.

He's taking his oldest to school this weekend. His ex mentioned having the other son come live with her now that the older son is out of Mr. Me's house. I really don't think he should be in a house full of women and I told Mr. Me that. We'll see how that develops.

I am so ready to hit the beach - lemme go see what weather.com is saying about my trip.

Have an awesome day.

Time to Get Serious

2009-07-27T15:17:00.002-04:00

I've been saying since the beginning of the year that I need to get a plan in place for both my finances and my healthy lifestyle. There have been many excuses along the way:

Living with someone - didn't know what my expenses would be in the new house.
No refrigerator space at work
I didn't have my workout room finished
Spending time with Mr. Me cut into my workout time

I could go on and on but I won't. A little over 19 years ago, I learned that

Excuses are the tools of incompetence
Which build monuments to nothingness
And those that specialize in them
Are seldom good at anything else

Well, I'm done - no more excuses. I need to get this weight off and build my savings back up. To jump start my savings, I'm getting a nice bonus this week. It was totally unexpected so the entire amount (less my tithe) is going to savings. There are some things that I need to buy for the new house, but I'm functioning without them now so they can wait until I get my liquid cash back up. Let me state that this bonus will help me reach the total cash emergency fund in my plan. So after this, I can start saving for the things I need for my house - I'll do that by saving $300 per month +with another $200 per month going to my non-retirement investments. That amount is subject to increase...looking at my spreadsheet now, I can probably pull off $750/month increasing it to $1,000 per month in November. For now I'll stick with the $500.

Onto the weight loss. I MUST lose 30 pounds by the end of this year. That equates to about 6 lbs per month which is not outrageous. I've done this before, I just need to focus and plan my meals better. Working out has never been a problem for me but I did realize that when I lost all that weight in 2007 - 2008, during the first half of 2008 I was working out 2 hours a day at least 5 days a week. Going from a 5 minute commute to a 30-60 minute commute I don't expect to get back to that level of working out, but I do need to make sure I workout at least 5 days a week with at least 45 minutes a day. I also have to limit my non-water beverages to the weekends. Having free Coke at work doesn't help this initiative much but I know I can do it. Finally I need to get back in the habit of going grocery shopping and cooking on Sundays. I used to plan my lunch for the entire week on Sundays - I can do that again.

It's time for me to get real with this! If you read me, please keep me accountable. I plan to update weekly. This plan will start August 1 officially. Unofficially I'm starting today (didn't go to the grocery story last night).

In other news - work is slowing down and my relationship with Mr. Me is continuing to flourish. I'm excited about football season starting soon - I'll kick it off this weekend when I get my NFL Network back (YAY!). Finally, I'm headed to the beach a week from Friday. This is the make-up for me not going to the beach for my birthday. Every day I check the weather. The beach view picture I took from my room in Hawaii is the wallpaper on my phone and today I went back to the hotel's website to view the photo tour. I.AM.SO.EXCITED!!!!

Have an awesome week.

I Thank God, I Praise God

2009-07-14T17:56:00.003-04:00

My last post ended with me trying to get to sleep before Mr. Me got out of the shower. You've probably guessed that he and I made up because we had a wonderful time the rest of our weekend in Houston. After we discussed our little spat, we had breakfast at my favorite Houston breakfast spot - The Breakfast Klub. That place has the best grits and French toast. After a nap we watched some TV and got ready for dinner at my friend Icey's house. Let me tell you, Icey THREW.DOWN in that kitchen. If you follow me on twitter, you saw my updates with pictures.

Sunday was church, lunch and off to see The Hangover. That movie was stupid-funny but funny nonetheless. Unfortunately we had to leave approximately 10 minutes before the movie ended because I was NOT about to miss my flight again. I've heard that we missed some of the funniest parts. I'll have to catch that on DVD. We got to the airport in plenty of time, only to have our flight delayed due to the ATL storms. What made it even worse was I was in Zone 2 and Mr. Me was in Zone 4. I boarded when my Zone was called so I could secure overhead space - then they stopped boarding. So I'm on the plane wondering what's going on when they announce that we're delayed, will get another update in an hour, and if one person got off all would have to de-plane. I contemplated thinking of an emergency that would cause everyone to de-plane but I didn't have to. This nice attendant came by and asked how I was doing and I gave her my pouty face. I said 'I'm here and my boyfriend's in the terminal and I won't be able to see him for an hour' - she snuck me off the plane so I could be with my boo...

We got back to ATL pretty late so I was NOT ready for work Monday, but the work day wasn't that bad. Mr. Me came back over Monday night and we went walking up and down the hills by my home before heading to the grocery store. We got incredients to make sandwiches - they were good!!! After approximately 4 hours of sleep (we didn't finish our walk until 10pm) I got up to go meet with my trainer. On my way home from the gym, right near my townhome, I ran over something and blew out my tire. I rolled slowly to the front of my house and ran in to tell Mr. Me about my flat tire. I actually started crying (I was sleepy) and he calmed me down and checked out the tire. He drove the car into the garage (I didn't want to drive it up the incline for fear I might damage my rims...) and, after my shower, we went back to sleep (I train at 5am, get back home around 6am and always go back to sleep for about 45 minutes).

I just thank God that I have 2 cars. I was planning to drive Joshua this week anyway because I've been neglecting him - I just didn't plan on Solomon blowing a tire. So after I get dressed and get ready to head out - Joshua won't start!!! So I ran back inside and call Mr. Me (deja vu anyone?) Poor Mr. Me, this was the second time I had to wake him this morning with car problems - but he took it all in stride and reminded me that this is what he was supposed to do. All he had to do was give poor Joshua a little gas while starting him - I didn't want to 'flood the engine' (I've heard that term before) so I didn't do that. My poor baby was just a little rusty because I had not driven him in a while. Add to that - I let my friend's daughter drive him when they were in town and she left him close to 'E' so apparently the gas wasn't in the line (or something like that).

I finally set out for work around 9:15 only to be met with a VERY busy day. I'm taking a quick break to write this post while eating the dinner we ordered (another salad from F2O with calamari...).

This day started crazy and is posed to end crazy - but God is still good. I love to make lemonade when handed lemons (after my first initial response that usually includes tears). When we missed our flights Thursday I explained to Mr. Me that I was blessed to be Gold Medallion, therefore getting me on the flight and blessed that I had the resources to make the necessary changes to our flights. This morning I was thanking God that I have two cars - then when Joshua wouldn't start - I was thanking God that I have Mr. Me to help me through these times. I praise God that while my savings did get depleted when I purchased my house earlier this year, I still have enough in my emergency fund to pay for a new tire for Solomon.

The A/C went out on my rental home and I don't have a property management company. As soon as I got the call from my tenant (my sister), I asked Mr. Me if he knew someone that works on A/Cs - he made the call right away and as I type this, my man and his associate are headed to the house to see about the problem. And when the problem is diagnosed - I have the funds to fix it.

God is good to me. I may not say that here on my blog often, but I thank Him for His blessings daily. What's funny is, I started out praising God on twitter this morning. Shortly thereafter - stuff started to fall apart. Hmph - these mini-trials won't stop me from praising God. So I thank God, I praise God for my life and all His many blessings.

Now back to work - this looks to be a long night.

Work Hard, Play Hard!

2009-07-10T16:38:00.002-04:00

THAT'S MY MOTTO!!!

No matter how many times I keep lamenting about me running the streets, I keep running the streets! This is the busiest time of the year for me work-wise. We have a May 31 year-end and I'm in the middle of our year-end reporting. Sucks when that interferes with my July 4th plans...so I decided to forgo working last weekend and hit up the Essence Music Festival. I had a ball in New Orleans, but I paid for it last week. I went with ToolTime and Thumbelina and the weekend was filled with good music, good food, good drinks and very little sleep.

I'm not going to give a full recap of the entire weekend but I'll say that Mrs. Carter ALWAYS puts on a great show. Eric Benet is one of the HOTTEST men out there. Ledisi's voice just blows me away and Anita Baker still has it. I'm not a fan of Maxwell but I was hoping to become one after seeing him live. Well I left the Superdome headed for the hotel room approximately 45 before he took the stage, but 45 minutes after he was scheduled to take the stage. Yup, Maxwell took the stage 90 minutes later than scheduled. I was sleepy and I knew if I stayed I would end up hating Maxwell songs (kinda like I feel about Musiq after that debacle during the concert in ATL)...so I'm still not a Maxwell fan...

We ate seafood every day. Good seafood. I don't think I had a meal that disappointed me. Have you ever heard of someone wake up one day only to find that they are allergic to shellfish? Well I have and I fear that will happen to me so I try to monitor my seafood intake. I didn't last weekend - nor did I last week. Which leads me to the work hard part of my post...

I went to work Monday morning around 8:30 and didn't leave until close to midnight. Ahhh, the consequences of taking the weekend off - but I don't regret it. We ordered out for dinner and I ordered a salad from one of my favorite 'quick food' restaurants; Fresh 2 Order. Normally I don't get meat on my salads there (because I'm frugal) but because the company was paying, I got calamari. It was delish! Tuesday found me getting off work at 10:00 and Wednesday 9:30 - so I improved my time as the week passed. Then Thursday we took my boss to lunch for his birthday and I had ANOTHER salad with calamari. Thursday I got off work at 4:30, only because I had a flight to catch.

Right now I'm in Houston - a dear friend of mine got married last night (Friday). It was a major undertaking getting here. For the first time in my life, I got to the airport too late to check-in. Mr. Me was simply glad it wasn't his fault (he's been late a few times before) but I was ticked. After much wheeling and dealing, I was able to fly standby on the last flight out of ATL Thursday night (the last person to get on the flight) and Mr. Me flew in Friday morning. I 'worked' from the hotel Friday and got a chance to witness my friend get married. Y'all know I cried right? Well if you didn't, you don't read my blog, LOL.

So now I'm sitting at almost 2am Saturday morning updating my blog. I've been called on out twitter for not updating (not naming names...) and received a wonderful email from a reader checking on me. I am an admitted blog slacker - but I think my 12 plus hours of working most of the week warrants a minor pass. I'll try to do better.

Oh and right now, I'm pretty ticked at Mr. Me. I got him set up on FB and now I have to compete with FB poker for his time... Can you believe it?!?! The reason why I'm up right now is he had the freaking laptop in the bed between us playing while we were having a relationship discussion, so I turned my back on him and went to sleep. I must have been exhausted because I woke up to go to the bathroom and he wasn't in the room. Normally I wake up if someone so much as sneezes whilst I'm sleep, so I don't know how he managed to get out of the bed and out of the room without me noticing. Both his phones were in here and the keys to the car, but I was still a little worried so I couldn't get back to sleep. He just walked in from the gym. I'm even more mad at him now, so I'm going to shut this down and try to fall back asleep before he gets out the shower.

Nighty Night!!!

Was I Wrong?

2009-06-30T09:38:00.002-04:00

First let me say that I HATE bugs. Plain and simple. Let me set the background:

Since I'm going to the Essence Music Festival this weekend, Mr. Me wants to see me every night this week. On Tuesdays and Thursdays I meet with my trainer at 5am and I try to get to sleep early the night before but he wanted to come over anyway last night. I don't think he went to sleep before midnight. I was up at 4:30 and out the door by 4:50. Mr. Me was sound asleep.

I got back home around 6:00, before getting in the shower I saw a bug crawling on the ceiling. I watched it during my shower, hoping he would crawl into the AC vent but no.... So I woke up Mr. Me - "Baby, there's a bug on the ceiling, I need you to come get it. Don't smash it though, I need to see what type of bug it is." See, when I see a bug in my house not only do I want it dead but I also want to know what kind of bug is it. Was this bug a roach? I didn't have my glasses on, so I couldn't tell. So I ran in the bedroom and woke him up - he had to hurry before the bug left. With eyes half closed he grabbed a paper towel and went to grab the bug while I asked if it was a roach. It dropped on him - I screamed. He swatted it to the floor - I screamed. At this point he says 'Baby don't scream...' Then it started running toward me - I screamed one last time. Finally, he got it - My Hero.....

I asked him if it was a roach - he couldn't tell. I live in a nice townhome community and I'm clean - but it's still a townhome and I don't know how my neighbor lives, so I'll be calling an exterminator.

After he got the bug, he started to throw it in the trash but I asked him to flush it down the toilet. It so happened that he also had to go so I yelled 'yeah, pee on it too!' Then we got back in the bed (I go back to sleep for an hour after my workouts if I don't have an early meeting).

Was I wrong for waking him? Naw.... I don't think so.

So Much To Say...

2009-06-29T13:02:00.002-04:00

Thursday:

All day I was excited about going to see Anthony Hamilton and Chrisette Michele in concert. Musiq was on the ticket too - but I'm not a big fan. Believe it or not, I've never been to a concert with a guy that I was REALLY into. I'd been on dates with guys that I 'liked' but not with someone that I was in the process of developing memories with, so I was excited. Then Michael Jackson passed away. That news hit me like a ton of bricks - I've never been a big fan of Michael's - well not since Off The Wall. Yes, I had the Thriller album but it didn't stick with me as much as with everyone else. I think what hit me so hard was the fact that someone that represented the majority of my youth was gone. So MJ's death put a damper on my evening. I was already emotional from my monthly visitor - then watching the news unfold about MJ, then Mr. Me was late getting to my house, THEN I wasn't too happy about his choice of clothing (I think that was just my emotions being on edge)...and to top it off, traffic was horrible getting to the concert.

Chrisette Michelle did NOT disappoint. I love her voice and I hate that she didn't have more time on stage. Because her latest CD is a break-up type CD, I couldn't really groove to her music. I SO wanted her to sing songs from her first CD - songs like Golden and Love Is You and Is This The Way Love Feels. *Can y'all tell I'm in love?...* Even with her singing her break-up songs, she was still H-O-T! She looked beautiful and her voice is just great. Oh she did end her set with If I Had My Way.

Musiq's set was a train wreck IMO. His all girl band was OK, but the background vocals didn't sound ANYTHING like the recorded versions. Musiq's voice was hoarse and the sound was too loud. I have his latest song So Beautiful as the ringtone for Mr. Me, but I didn't like the performance....I just wish they could have cut his set in half and given that time to Chrisette. But that's just my personal opinion.

Anthony Hamilton came out ON FIRE!!! I mean his first 3-4 songs almost had me in tears. When he sang The Point Of It All I think I fell in love some more. I've always liked his voice but I only own his latest CD. Guess who's getting the rest? Anthony came out with a cane and at first I thought it was part of his gimmick. Only to discover that he actually had a torn ACL. Even with one bad knee he tore it up!!! He sang Prayin' For You and then took us to church. I have a new favorite male singer...well I didn't have one before (ever since Luther passed) but I think Anthony Hamilton is it. Oh and I love the song Cool - the video is so cute and when their car breaks down it reminds me of when Mr. Me's car ran out of gas on Easter Sunday (did I tell you guys about that?). Anthony Hamilton has a new fan in me.

Friday:

A good friend and her daughter came to visit from NC. It was her daughter's birthday so we went to dinner - the daughter chose a restaurant that I don't care for, but it was her birthday... A friend from my youth joined us - I had not seen her since around 1985, but I found her on my high school's ning site. It was great hanging out with old friends. I remember when my friend's daughter turned 5 (I was living with her at the time while interning at her company) - well she turned 22 this past Friday. I'm getting old y'all.

Saturday:

My friend and I arose bright and early for my 5k. As promised, I walked it - didn't run it. But I think I would have run some of it if I weren't pushing my godson in the stroller. TaeBo and ToolTime had been training for the 5k in the mornings so I volunteered for stroller duty. Even with pushing a 40lb toddler in a stroller with a front wheel that didn't turn, I finished the 5K in 48:01 - that was great IMO. I only ran a few yards of the 5k and that was up the only hill of the path. It just so happened that the only hill was the same part of the path where the sun beat us down! I started walking but then I told my godson that 'we' had to run it. After the race this one guy came up to me and said 'Did they have an award for the best time with a stroller because you were humpin it up that hill!'

After the 5k we went to breakfast at my favorite place and I had to go home to take a quick nap before starting the wash/set process for this hair on my head. That evening we went to my favorite Mexican restaurant because Be.yonce was back in town for the weekend. As usual we had a great time and Babs came and hung out with us. Shortly after I got home, my sweetheart came to see me. He'd gone to take his son to college orientation and he was missing me (and I was missing him too).

Sunday:

Early service for church. Can I just say that I don't know WHY I continue to schedule my weekends when I'm getting up before 7am. Now church is a given (up at 5:30) but I need to slow down on my Saturdays - for real!!! Yeah, I was BEAT by the time the alarm clock went off. And my thighs and buttocks were hurting a little from the 5k. But I pressed my way. After church Mr. Me and I went BACK to my fave breakfast spot - I didn't tell him I'd gone Saturday and he was craving their shrimp and grits - so I got something new that time. After breakfast was the after-church nap. The best naps ever! Now I've got Mr. Me into taking after-church naps. He used to say he couldn't sleep when the sun is out - not anymore! After napping I had to boot up the work laptop for a little work and then a birthday dinner for the wisest of Divas. By the time I got home I was beat! I watched about 20 minutes of the BET awards and went to sleep. I taped it, I'll watch the good parts some time this week.

So that was my weekend. I'm headed to the Essence Music Festival this weekend, to Houston for a wedding next weekend and having a friend visit the following weekend....no rest for the weary I tell ya!!!